# What's the best way to eat a shoe? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 18, 2008, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104 "2008-09-18T05:15:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/21 "2008-09-18T18:04:36Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Or you could watch Charlie Chaplin in “The Goldrush”. Exactly like this: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgWiFTCZYBo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgWiFTCZYBo) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/22 "2008-09-18T18:15:59Z")
> [@bbs2k](#): > > Perchance, she might start a thread encouraging us to offer donations to the first annual “Make **Auto** Eat a Shoe” extravaganza? She is doing that, as well as on Facebook. Opportunistic wench, and I say that lovingly. No, if she wins, I am determined to eat an actual shoe, ala the Herzog video. With the abundance of toxic chemicals in some shoes, I would do research first so as not to inadvertently kill myself, but I would definitely eat a real shoe of my foot size. And for the record, she was an English major, and I’m talking 4K after taxes. Any move to a different city would take away from that 4K, although I’d be willing to compromise if she really was ballsy enough to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/23 "2008-09-18T18:20:17Z")
I thought hats were the traditional dish of losing bets. I doubt you will lose, **Autolycus,** but in case you do, I hope your shoes are not very big. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/24 "2008-09-18T18:22:27Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > I thought shmoos were extinct. Are you saying that I’m like a schmoo in that I’d happily immolate myself out of love for this girl, or that I need to capture a schmoo and eat it because they look like a shoe? Both are true I guess 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/25 "2008-09-18T18:26:45Z")
I don’t know why you couldn’t earn $4,000 in a month if you worked two jobs. Don’t think it’s worth it just to see someone eat a shoe though. And you never told us if she has to do anything if you win. Sex? Is it sex? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/26 "2008-09-18T18:35:29Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I don’t know why you couldn’t earn $4,000 in a month if you worked two jobs. Don’t think it’s worth it just to see someone eat a shoe though. > > And you never told us if she has to do anything if you win. Sex? Is it sex? She has a BF, so I doubt that. He’s not my type either, so a three-some would be pushing it. I’m not bi, but I mean there are some men that a straight guy could tolerate ya know? No, right now we’re talking about her cooking a traditional Vietnamese meal for me (She’s Vietnamese.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/27 "2008-09-18T18:38:17Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > No, right now we’re talking about her cooking a traditional Vietnamese meal for me (She’s Vietnamese.) Ah. Easy, then. Cook the shoe with traditional Vietnamese spices. That way, it doesn’t matter who wins. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/28 "2008-09-18T18:40:57Z")
Sadly, I have nothing to add to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/29 "2008-09-18T19:23:11Z")
Here is her thread asking for donations :smack:: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=483949](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=483949) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/30 "2008-09-18T19:50:09Z")
Well, the thread _was_ there. I guess the mods decided it went against the ‘no soliticing’ rule. Well, I guess you’ll have to PM me or her, oobleck, if anyone wants more details. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/31 "2008-09-18T19:56:25Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Well, the thread _was_ there. I guess the mods decided it went against the ‘no soliticing’ rule. Well, I guess you’ll have to PM me or her, oobleck, if anyone wants more details. Damn straight it was against the rules. YOU should know better, even if she doesn’t. Did either of you ask for permission first? **bbs2k** , YOU should know better than to suggest it. I’m not handing out any warnings THIS time, but I am going to give all of you a very dirty look. :mad::mad::mad: ---
**Author:** ![ooblek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/58f4c7/32.png) [@ooblek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ooblek)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/32 "2008-09-18T19:56:36Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Well, the thread _was_ there. I guess the mods decided it went against the ‘no soliticing’ rule. Well, I guess you’ll have to PM me or her, oobleck, if anyone wants more details. It’s ooblek! And sorry that thread was full of fail. I should have read the rules. But anyway, I’m really determined to win. \>\< So any help is appreciated! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/33 "2008-09-18T20:05:06Z")
::gives a sheepish look:: Sorry **Lynn** , and to **beebs** and **ooblek**. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/34 "2008-09-18T20:05:35Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Have a shoe made out of marzipan. I vote for this one. While someone mentioned Charlie Chaplin’s GOLDRUSH for a literal shoe-eating, but in your circumstance, there is a wonderful short story by G K Chesterton – I forget the title, and I forget the collection it’s in. possibly from _The Man Who Knew Too Much_ (1923) (no relation to the Hitchcock movies) – but the story is about a man who one morning walks out of his house with a cabbage on his head. His friends think he’s gone balmy, he refuses to talk about it, but wears it for the entire day. Natch, the punch line is that he had lost a bet that he would “eat his hat”, so he wore the cabbage so that it would count as his hat. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104/35 "2008-09-18T21:12:40Z")
Duck Man: “My word. Here’s a whole roast pig! And a big dish of roast potatoes, miraculously uncracked! And … look … isn’t this caviar in the jar? Asparagus! Potted shrimp! My goodness! What were we going to have for Hogswatch dinner, Arnold?” Arnold Sideways: “Old boots.” Duck Man: “Just old boots?” Arnold Sideways: “Oh, no. Stuffed with mud, and with roast mud. 's good mud, too. I bin saving it up.” Duck Man: “Now we can have a merry feast of goose!” Arnold Sideways: “All right. Can we stuff it with old boots?” from Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-eat-a-shoe/464104.md?page=1)