# What's the best way to stick it to teenage "trick or treaters"?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 31, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497 "2012-10-31T23:37:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/1 "2012-10-31T23:37:24Z")

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Okay, SDMB friends, which is the best bogus treat to give teenagers who come to the door looking for candy even though they don’t even have a damn costume on?  
a) gold foil-wrapped bouillion cubes  
b) individual packets of soy sauce  
c) (assuming they’re using a paper bag) ice cubes

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**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/2 "2012-11-01T00:14:44Z")

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Instead of giving them a nasty trick, I’d offer them the candy in exchange for performing and entertaining little song or dance.

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**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/3 "2012-11-01T00:32:55Z")

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> [@Beware! TheChileanBlob](#):
>
> Instead of giving them a nasty trick, I’d offer them the candy in exchange for performing and entertaining little song or dance.

That might come across a little creepy.

Chilli Chocolate is a good one.

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**Author:** ![StrawberryDaquiri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@StrawberryDaquiri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrawberryDaquiri)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/4 "2012-11-01T00:36:45Z")

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soy sauce! ice cubes are too much hassle.

Or you could give them a rock!

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**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/5 "2012-11-01T00:38:42Z")

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Condoms.

StG

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**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/6 "2012-11-01T00:42:28Z")

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I just give them the stink eye and a frosty “Aren’t you a little OLD to be trick-or-treating?”

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**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/7 "2012-11-01T00:42:33Z")

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Little snack baggies of protein powder. It sends a dual message: no candy from me you little fuckwads, you’ve reached a stage in your life where you need to focus on your health and start worrying about those bellies!

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**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/8 "2012-11-01T00:45:03Z")

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> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> Little snack baggies of protein powder. It sends a dual message: no candy from me you little fuckwads, you’ve reached a stage in your life where you need to focus on your health and start worrying about those bellies!

I think [packets of Metamucil](http://www.metamucil.com/metamucil-fiber-singles.php) would be even better.

StG

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**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/9 "2012-11-01T00:49:13Z")

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> [@StGermain](#):
>
> I think [packets of Metamucil](http://www.metamucil.com/metamucil-fiber-singles.php) would be even better.
> 
> StG

😃 Well packets _do_ at least have the ring of authenticity to them; my ziplocs full of whey probably would look like some “totally creepy” date-rape concoction to a bunch of teen-aged eyes.

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/10 "2012-11-01T02:18:24Z")

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Celery sticks and baby carrots.

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**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/11 "2012-11-01T02:21:56Z")

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Chick tracts.

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**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/12 "2012-11-01T02:28:46Z")

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Are teens not supposed to trick or treat? Why? We costumed up and begged all through high school. Why not give 'em candy? At least they’re not out stealing cars.

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**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/13 "2012-11-01T02:33:20Z")

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> [@kayT](#):
>
> Are teens not supposed to trick or treat? Why? We costumed up and begged all through high school. Why not give 'em candy? At least they’re not out stealing cars.

I wouldn’t have a huge problem with that. My problem is kids from the nearby apartment complex who show up with a pillowcase and NO costume, except for a mustache that turns out to be real.

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**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/14 "2012-11-01T02:33:55Z")

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> [@kayT](#):
>
> Are teens not supposed to trick or treat? Why? We costumed up and begged all through high school. Why not give 'em candy? At least they’re not out stealing cars.

Also, by giving them soy sauce packets, vegan propaganda literature or old underpants, it might well invite them to come back to your place later in the evening and give your house, car and/or yard furniture a nastee “Trick” that has to be washed off with a hose and plenty of bleach…

(I should add that I am being serious—By pissing off the neighborhood teens over 15 cents worth of candy, you are practically begging to have them come back and mess with you or your stuff)

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**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/15 "2012-11-01T02:41:01Z")

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By the time the uncostumed teens show up, I’m just about ready to shut the door for the night, so I just give them big handfuls of candy. I also give out Halloween themed pencils, along with the candy, which the teens seem to like. The first few years we owned this house, we had hordes of kids, and I’ve been overbuying ever since, even though the turnout has dropped off.

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**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/16 "2012-11-01T02:45:33Z")

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Yeah, I don’t see an upside to this. Teens trick or treating is toolish and tawdry, but it suggests an immaturity and potential malevolence that could be sparked if they’re provoked. Roll your eyes and give 'em candy, or expect some retribution.

I mean, candy corn will generate rolled eyes. Smartassed prank treats will get you a brick through a window.

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**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/17 "2012-11-01T07:05:11Z")

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I gave them one tiny piece of candy each (younger kids got two, or one mini candy bar), and asked them to dance to Gangnam Style when it played. I actually got two or three to dance, and one little kid sang along in Korean.

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/18 "2012-11-01T07:36:42Z")

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> [@kayT](#):
>
> Are teens not supposed to trick or treat? Why? We costumed up and begged all through high school. Why not give 'em candy? At least they’re not out stealing cars.

Teens generally want to be treated as adults, except that some of them want to retain their childhood privileges. By the time a kid hits high school, I expect him/her to TRY to act more like an adult than a child. This means not going out ToTing, except as an escort for younger kids, and not sitting on Santa’s lap, and not expecting a visit from the Easter Bunny.

Teens who are escorting younger kids get a goodie bag from me. Teens who show up with the pillowcase and no costume get one piece of crappy candy.

This year, the goodie bags contained: 1 small toy, 1 funsized bar of Snickers, Milky Way, and Almond Joy (three bars total), 1 mini Tootsie Pop, 2 Tootsie Rolls, 2 Pixie Sticks, and 2 Smarties rolls. I buy a bag of pinata filling, which comes with cheap toys and cheap candy, and that’s where I get the crappy candy.

We gave out 30 goodie bags tonight. We have a couple of apartment buildings close to us, and we’d get hit with groups of half a dozen or so kids.

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**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/19 "2012-11-01T12:48:52Z")

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Just give’ em some candy.  
What a bunch of Scrooges.

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**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497/20 "2012-11-01T12:58:24Z")

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Meh. Who cares. I care less about the age than the lack of a costume.

My son turned 13 in 7th grade. Still plenty young enough to go out. My daughter is just a HS freshman, dressed up and went out with a few friends. Perfectly age appropriate.

Older kids who don’t dress up get a good natured grilling about what they’re dressed up as and they always make up something amusing. Seriously, I’m just not that emotionally invested in who gets candy that night.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-best-way-to-stick-it-to-teenage-trick-or-treaters/639497.md?page=2)
