# What's the Catholic viewpoint on sex before marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 26, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196 "2004-10-26T04:23:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/1 "2004-10-26T04:23:46Z")
I have a Catholic friend, and she’s… well… sharing details… :eek: And I was wondering: what’s the Roman Catholic stand on premarital sex? I’m guessing it’s a no-no, but am I wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/2 "2004-10-26T04:28:31Z")
If you’re asking for the official opinion, I’ve never heard a Christian church of any kind actually advocate pre-marital sex, and the more conservative ones (like the official Catholic teachings) are dead set against. ---
**Author:** ![pyrrthon1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@pyrrthon1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pyrrthon1)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/3 "2004-10-26T04:28:51Z")
I’m not catholic but as far as I know any kind of sexual stimulation is not premitted outside of marriage. Oce married, not all sex must be non-recreational, but no precautions may be taken to prevent pregnancy. The question is does this preclude oral or anal sex? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/4 "2004-10-26T04:31:41Z")
No religion that I’m aware of approves test drives. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/5 "2004-10-26T04:32:38Z")
> [@Cardinal](#): > > If you’re asking for the official opinion, And if it comes from a **Cardinal** you gotta believe that it is _offical_ church doctrine. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/6 "2004-10-26T04:42:13Z")
From the Catechism… > [@Catechism of the Catholic Church](#): > > 2391 Some today claim a “right to a trial marriage” where there is an intention of getting married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual relations may be, “the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor, especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim.” **Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate “trial marriages.”** It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another. Bolding mine…[Catechism search engine](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm). ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/7 "2004-10-26T05:30:14Z")
The official church position is very much against it. However, there are an AWFUL lot of people who consider themselves Catholics, yet disagree with the church over certain issues - this being one of them. > [@danceswithcats](#): > > No religion that I’m aware of approves test drives. Uh-uh! Can’t forget about Unitarian Universalism! ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/8 "2004-10-26T10:39:36Z")
It’s OK as long as it doesn’t delay the ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/9 "2004-10-26T10:45:13Z")
Unless it’s between a priest and a child, it’s a big no-no. :eek: Somebody had to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/10 "2004-10-26T11:33:20Z")
No they didn’t :rolleyes: It’s considered a sin, like in most religions, however most people tend to be fairly understanding of it. (I’m Catholic, and am from a family of catholics, BTW.) ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/11 "2004-10-26T12:34:07Z")
My Dad’s side of the family is catholic. My dad has 7 sisters, and 6 were pregnant on their wedding day. My Grandma was too. But I’m pretty sure Catholics arn’t suppose to have sex before marriage. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/12 "2004-10-26T14:40:12Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > Uh-uh! Can’t forget about Unitarian Universalism! You beat me to it. Also liberal Christians and Jews in general, though that may vary by group and/or individual opinion. I know my Reform ex had no problem with it. Also most pagans, as far as I know, are fine with it. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/13 "2004-10-26T15:16:48Z")
The Church is against it. The average follower, in view of most evidence, is at least willing to consider it… ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/14 "2004-10-26T15:29:00Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > I’m not catholic but as far as I know any kind of sexual stimulation is not premitted outside of marriage. Oce married, not all sex must be non-recreational, but no precautions may be taken to prevent pregnancy. The question is does this preclude oral or anal sex? As far as oral and anal sex are concerned, a married couple may engage in them, but the man must ejaculate in the vagina. In other words, they may be used as strictly foreplay. FWIW, I’m a Roman Catholic, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/15 "2004-10-26T15:37:15Z")
I’m posting for my friend Bill, who just got out of the hospital with heart problems. What about cigars? ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/16 "2004-10-26T17:09:05Z")
Out of curiosity, are there any mainstream religious denominations that actually _encourage_ pre-marital, extramarital, or homosexual nookie? “We have a progressive spiritual approach to anal fisting, unlike those squares in the Catholic Church!” The RCC may be a little more vocal about specific sexual practices than other denominations, but the fact that we do them anyway is yet further evidence that Catholics are not brainwashed automotons who do any idiot thing the Vatican tells us to. I don’t know any Catholics under the age of 70 who regard church stances on sexual matters as much more than a suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/17 "2004-10-26T17:10:42Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > No religion that I’m aware of approves test drives. 😉 Not even a quick peek under the hood? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/18 "2004-10-26T17:24:29Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Out of curiosity, are there any mainstream religious denominations that actually _encourage_ pre-marital, extramarital, or homosexual nookie? “We have a progressive spiritual approach to anal fisting, unlike those squares in the Catholic Church!” It’s not exactly **encouraging** it openly, but last I knew, the United Church of Christ and the Unitarian Universalist churches both ordain “out” (and involved with a partner) gays and lesbians as ministers. There’s probably room for debate about whether UU is “mainstream,” but the United Church of Christ is a (very liberal) Protestant Christian church that ought to fit the bill. Back to the topic of the Catholic church and premarital sex, my husband and I were married in a Catholic church several years ago. We were meeting with the priest a couple months or so before the wedding, and he was filling out the paperwork. First my husband is interviewed - address, DOB, ever married before, where baptized, etc. Then he interviews me, and when I give my address, he pauses, flips back to my husband’s address, then proceeds to have a very difficult time (he was pretty new to the priesthood) in explaining in a round-about fashion that we should not engage in any sexual activity until after the ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/19 "2004-10-26T17:51:46Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Unless it’s between a priest and a child, it’s a big no-no. :eek: > > Somebody had to say it. No, no one had to say it. You’re in GQ, which, I would think, might have stilled this impulse to provide inaccurate information. The Catholic Church does not regard sex between a priest and a child as morally acceptable, so you have posted wrong information to a GQ thread. Unless you were just joking, but then this is hardly the forum for that, either. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/20 "2004-10-26T18:07:02Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > I’m not catholic but as far as I know any kind of sexual stimulation is not premitted outside of marriage. Oce married, not all sex must be non-recreational, but no precautions may be taken to prevent pregnancy. The question is does this preclude oral or anal sex? The church now sanctions spacing children using Natural Family Planning, which is a somewhat more sophisticated form of the rhythm method. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196.md?page=2)