# What's the Catholic viewpoint on sex before marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 26, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196 "2004-10-26T04:23:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/21 "2004-10-26T18:21:47Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Somebody had to say it. Not in GQ. Do not do this again. - **xash** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/22 "2004-10-27T14:38:03Z")
> [@Krys92gp](#): > > As far as oral and anal sex are concerned, a married couple may engage in them, but the man must ejaculate in the vagina. In other words, they may be used as strictly foreplay. > > FWIW, I’m a Roman Catholic, and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I wonder if this has changed or if I’m just in a relatively liberal diocese. I was married in the church in 1998, and we were told that (I’m paraphrasing here) ANY activity is not sinful as long as it is (a) mutually consensual and (b) within the bonds of marriage (no threeways, darn). Handjobs, oral, anal are all cool, as long as it is an expression of our love and not an attempt to avoid conception. Coitus interruptus is still a no-no if intended to prevent pregnancy. (If you and your partner are mutually into facials presumably it’s still okay). Also out is any artificial contraception. They were also very adamant that the aforementioned natural family planning is _not_ the rhythm method. It’s the inspecting the vaginal mucus to determine if ovulation is ocurring method, also used by some fertiliy doctors to help people conceive. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/23 "2004-10-27T14:47:25Z")
> [@Krys92gp](#): > > As far as oral and anal sex are concerned, a married couple may engage in them, but the man must ejaculate in the vagina. In other words, they may be used as strictly foreplay. If you engage in anal sex, the man’s penis should not go anywhere else - including the vagina - until it has been cleaned really well. Nothing to do with religion; just trying to keep eveyone healthy. ---
**Author:** ![drhess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/94ad74/32.png) [@drhess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drhess)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/24 "2004-10-27T15:21:10Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > My Dad’s side of the family is catholic. My dad has 7 sisters, and 6 were pregnant on their wedding day. My Grandma was too. But I’m pretty sure Catholics arn’t suppose to have sex before marriage. Goes to show that obeying the church on birth control seemed easier to follow than on sex. 🙂 I’ve been told by a demographer that abortion by Catholics equals that of non-Catholics in the US. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/25 "2004-10-27T15:50:53Z")
> [@bup](#): > > If you engage in anal sex, the man’s penis should not go anywhere else - including the vagina - until it has been cleaned really well. Nothing to do with religion; just trying to keep eveyone healthy. Heh. Read this post immediately after reading the “Power Washer” thread. Thought I’d share. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/26 "2004-10-27T19:42:04Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > I wonder if this has changed or if I’m just in a relatively liberal diocese. I was married in the church in 1998, and we were told that (I’m paraphrasing here) ANY activity is not sinful as long as it is (a) mutually consensual and (b) within the bonds of marriage (no threeways, darn). Handjobs, oral, anal are all cool, as long as it is an expression of our love and not an attempt to avoid conception. (snip) That may be something that more liberal dioceses (is that the correct plural?) allow… however I had a conversation with a very Catholic friend in which the subject of blowjobs came up sorry, I had to and she said “Blowjobs are OK, but not to the point of ejaculation. That would be Onanism!”. I had to ask her to explain. IIRC, Onan was an old-testiment guy who was smitten by the Lord because he “spilled his seed on the ground”. So bj’s are fine for foreplay but yeah, ejaculation is allowed one place and one place only. No facials, sorry! My friend didn’t comment on whether the girl is allowed to “fully enjoy” being the recipient of oral sex 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/27 "2004-10-27T20:31:41Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > They were also very adamant that the aforementioned natural family planning is _not_ the rhythm method. It’s the inspecting the vaginal mucus to determine if ovulation is ocurring method, also used by some fertiliy doctors to help people conceive. Recovering Catholic here. I studied all my life in a Catholic schools where the teachers were Sisters of Mercy. We didn’t get any sex ed until the final year of high school, where they, knowing that some of us would ‘stray’, gave us the same course received by couples that will be married by the church. They told exactly what Chock says above. It is is called the [Billings Method](http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Contraception_the_billings_method?OpenDocument). ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/28 "2004-10-28T00:17:40Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > They told exactly what Chock says above. It is is called the [Billings Method](http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Contraception_the_billings_method?OpenDocument). [‘TwoDay’ Method Helps Women Avoid Pregnancy](http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20041026/hl_nm/women_pregnancy_dc_1) Tue Oct 26, 2:59 PM ET Health - Reuters > [@](#): > > By Alison McCook > > NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - A technique that teaches women to track their vaginal secretions cues them when they are most likely to get pregnant, and offers a "valuable addition " to family planning, according to researchers. > > As part of the “TwoDay Method,” women learn they are most likely fertile if they notice any vaginal secretions – besides blood or semen – either that day or the day before. Consequently, avoiding intercourse on those days, or using condoms or other types of birth control, should prevent a pregnancy. > > Among a diverse group of women in Guatemala, Peru and the Philippines who wanted to avoid getting pregnant, those who used the TwoDay method consistently were less likely to get pregnant. > > Specifically, more than half of the pregnancies that occurred during the study were conceived during cycles when women said they had had unprotected intercourse on a fertile day. One-quarter of the pregnancies occurred when women said they had avoided intercourse during fertile days… Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/29 "2004-10-28T01:04:55Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > They were also very adamant that the aforementioned natural family planning is _not_ the rhythm method. It’s the inspecting the vaginal mucus to determine if ovulation is ocurring method, also used by some fertiliy doctors to help people conceive. Talk about killing the mood! What do you do, break out the magnifying glass and test tubes? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/30 "2004-10-28T01:15:23Z")
> [@Mama Zappa](#): > > That may be something that more liberal dioceses (is that the correct plural?) allow… however I had a conversation with a very Catholic friend in which the subject of blowjobs came up sorry, I had to and she said “Blowjobs are OK, but not to the point of ejaculation. That would be Onanism!” Well, I don’t believe that there _really_ is an _absolute_ requirement that every marital ejaculation be intravaginal, but rather that it is the next simplest explanation beyond “no non-coital sex at all ever” for the doctrine that there is a marital duty to always leave yourself open to the possibility of procreation. The Catechism (paras. 2351-2379) does contain injunctions against all forms of nonmarital or extramarital sex, against rape, against masturbation, against homosexual acts, and against “inordinate lust for pleasure for its own sake” (lechery, in the old – and my preferred – translation of the seven deadlies), and even against IVF even when using the spouses’ own gametes (“a child is a gift, not a right”). But it does NOT explicitly mention a ban on specific noncoital acts between spouses: just that their sex life must be open to procreation. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/31 "2004-10-28T01:44:19Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Talk about killing the mood! What do you do, break out the magnifying glass and test tubes? Well, I have to admit that however lacking the sex ed I got in school they more than made up for it with that last course. If I ignore the preaching and nonsense the rest was good advice on healthy habits and such. I am using Billings right now to increase my chances for conception. You only need to check your underwear, the mucus is visible to the naked eye. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/32 "2004-10-29T17:47:49Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Talk about killing the mood! What do you do, break out the magnifying glass and test tubes? It’s usually done daily upon waking up in the morning, especially if one is adding tracking basal temperature changes in order to pinpoint ovulation (the sympto-thermal method), in that case, you don’t need a test tube, but a thermometer. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![BlueMit11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@BlueMit11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMit11)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/33 "2004-10-29T19:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t know any Catholics under the age of 70 who regard church stances on sexual matters as much more than a suggestion. I know several of them. For some good heavy reading on the Church’s stance on sexuality, check out the Pope’s _Theology of the Body_. For some more explanatory reading, check out [Christopher West](http://www.christopherwest.com). To best understand it, it shouldn’t be thought of in terms of “don’t do this” and “don’t do that”, but the Church’s view of sex as being for the purpose of procreation and expressing the love between a husband and wife should be considered. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196/34 "2004-10-29T22:15:32Z")
So, if anal sex is okay, does Catholic doctrine accept the use of condoms to prevent disease and ease the cleanup for anal sex? It’s not preventing pregnancy, obviously, when used in this manner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-catholic-viewpoint-on-sex-before-marriage/271196.md?page=1)