# What's the cheapest way to legally get rid of one's cadaver? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 12, 1999, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729 "1999-11-12T04:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![deus\_ex\_machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@deus\_ex\_machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deus_ex_machina)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/21 "1999-11-12T19:42:00Z")
My grandmother enroled herslf in a medical study in which she agreed to allow her body to be studied after her death. She died this April, and thus far my family has incurred no expenses. Perhaps this partcular study is a non-standard case, and perhaps there are going to be expenses later, but this seems to have been a no-funeral-expense death. If anyone was disturbed to notice that there was neither a coffin nor ashes at her memorial service, I was not aware of it. ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/22 "1999-11-12T19:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Uh…keep a cage of half-starved wolves in the backyard? Wolverines? Good luck finding a wolverine. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/23 "1999-11-12T20:09:00Z")
Much belatedly, Cecil on the doctors champing at the bit in re your organ harvest: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_420.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_420.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/24 "1999-11-12T23:08:00Z")
Another little bit of experience remembered. When we cremated my Dad, I took his ashes to Idaho and poured them in his favorite fishing hole. I learned on the way that if you’re traveling with the product of a cremation, it’s best to inform airport security _before_ they notice the large bag of whitish powder in your suitcase. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/25 "1999-11-13T01:22:00Z")
GirlFace wrote, re Anatomical Gift Society: > [@](#): > > They cremate your remains and mail them back to your loved ones. I went to a pottery shop and found a lovely covered jar to put mom in, and we buried her in the family plot. I think the whole thing (headstone and all) came to around $1,200. You have to pay a mortician to receive the body from the hospital, then the body dudes pick up the remains from there. Wait a sec … they mail her ashes back to you, but you still have to get morticians to pick up the remains? _What_ remains? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/26 "1999-11-13T02:26:00Z")
What about a heavy duty garbage disposal? This is a true ceremony in the ancient Tibetan kingdom of Mustang. I read it in …mumble mumble…( some magazine.) I’ve always thought letting the Tibetan Monks taking my dead naked body wrapped in ceremonial linen out to a field, blow on long Ricola like horns to summons in the Vultures and have them eat the flesh from my body and then carry my spirit to the heavens would be something. To bad the one way plane ticket to BFE would be about $5,000. Hmmmm, I wonder if pigeons are caniverous… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/27 "1999-11-13T02:28:00Z")
Another morbid fact that may have changed, but I bet it hasn’t. Funeral home guys in Florida earn frequent flyer milesn on many carriers for shipping the old dead people back to their home states for burial. This is of course, if they are done cargo and not cremated, then I think they are shipped UPS. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/28 "1999-11-13T02:31:00Z")
Oh, one more thing. About the vultures carrying my spirit to the heavens…as one of my sick and twisted friends said…" As they fly upward, they crap out your spirit,and well, there you are, dung on some schmoes windshield only to be diluted by blue glass cleaner and rubbed slowly away by malfunctioning windshield washers until you are no more than a streak in some yuppies vision." I guess I’ll just donate my body… ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/29 "1999-11-13T02:40:00Z")
Just die without a friend or family. The state will have to get rid of your body. Try to die on like a park bench, not in the middle of the woods. They’ll get rid of your body much faster that way. * * * I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![NanoByte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@NanoByte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NanoByte)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/30 "1999-11-13T10:12:00Z")
When you feel you’re about to go, hop a ship to the high seas, tie a heavy anchor on yourself and jump overboard. If that violates somebody’s regulations, are they going to charge you for it posthumously? If nobody else was involved, there’s no one else they can charge. Ray (squid food) ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/31 "1999-11-13T17:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Good luck finding a wolverine. Hey, they’re all over the place in Ann Arbor, Michigan. And hungry, too. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/32 "1999-11-14T00:39:00Z")
Rats, Where’s Jeffrey Dahmer when you need him? Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/33 "1999-11-14T02:02:00Z")
I too say donate it. However, if you don’t like that idea, a friend or loved one (would have to be, yes?) MIGHT be able to bury you in the backyard. It depends on your state’s laws, but there were a few articles in the Washington Post a few months ago about a man in Virginia who’d buried his infant daughter in the woods - no coffin, no funeral, didn’t notify anybody, just buried her. I forget how it was found out, but when authorities were questioned, they said that it was not a crime , and that he didn’t have to notify anyone about it. There was some speculation as to foul play, but I don’t think they ever came up with any evidence of it. Check with the appropriate agency (health dept.?) in your state. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/34 "1999-11-14T13:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Where’s Jeffrey Dahmer when you need him? He’s dead, Jim. _He_ got a free funeral out of the deal. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729/35 "1999-11-14T14:23:00Z")
Hi! > [@](#): > > Rats, > Where’s Jeffrey Dahmer when you need him? > > ``` > Enright3 > > ``` Unintentionally, Enright had the correct idea. A fine example of one of the _hoi polloi_ coming up with the right answer for the wrong reason. Prior to your demise, make arrangements with your relatives to douse your body in ketchup, pry open a manhole cover, & pitch your carcass into the sewers. The common brown rat will do the rest. If you don’t like ketchup, another condiment will do, ensuring that our furry friends will eat you with relish.(Pause For Big Laffs.) Optionally , you can _make money_ after your death. Tell your most ambitious relative to **THINK SAUSAGES**. If you got a big family, his fortune will be made. * * * YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cheapest-way-to-legally-get-rid-of-ones-cadaver/4729.md?page=1)