# What's the cleverest thing anyone ever said? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409 "2002-12-13T03:03:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/1 "2002-12-13T03:03:20Z")
And has that question ever been asked before on the SDMB? ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/2 "2002-12-13T03:21:36Z")
I might be paraphrasing slightly, but I believe it was: > [@](#): > > There is nothing new under the sun. -Aristotle ---
**Author:** ![HighSoci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@HighSoci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HighSoci)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/3 "2002-12-13T03:30:13Z")
IMHO I would say it was… Jesus in John 3:3…“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/4 "2002-12-13T03:41:56Z")
**Moderator’s Note:** This being a question of opinion, and not a question with a factual answer, it belongs in our “In My Humble Opinion” forum, so I’ll move it there now. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/5 "2002-12-13T03:46:48Z")
I was hoping there _would_ be a factual answer. But As the first few posts indicate - it will probably never go beyond opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/6 "2002-12-13T04:22:54Z")
How is that possible? In the least, what constitutes “clever saying” is purely a matter of opinion. ---
**Author:** ![I\_am\_Sparticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@I\_am\_Sparticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_am_Sparticus)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/7 "2002-12-13T04:39:57Z")
Didn’t Eccelsiastes say it before Aristotle? ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/8 "2002-12-13T04:44:33Z")
I like René Descartes’ saying “I think, therefore I am.” Of course, it leads to all sorts of jokes about “I think not.” ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/9 "2002-12-13T04:53:09Z")
Because it was a response to a situation, I especially like Mark Twain’s remark, “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/10 "2002-12-13T04:58:25Z")
From one of America’s most clever authors: “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” - Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/11 "2002-12-13T05:13:24Z")
“Lady Astor, if I was your husband I’d…” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/12 "2002-12-13T05:14:06Z")
There’s a great line from an episode of _Newhart_ when Michael (Peter Scolari) and Stephanie (Julia Duffy) were charging people for looks at their newborn daughter, determing how close the spectators could get by the value of their gifts. Larry, Darryl and Darryl (William Sanderson, Tony Papenfuss and John Voldstad) offered a frozen goose. Michael: “Well, I guess a goose is good for a gander.” Cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/13 "2002-12-13T05:18:03Z")
The Churchill line when the woman says “you’re drunk” and he says “yes, but you’re ugly, and in the morning I’ll be sober.” ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/14 "2002-12-13T05:33:39Z")
“Your Majesty is like a dose of clap” ---
**Author:** ![HighSoci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@HighSoci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HighSoci)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/15 "2002-12-13T05:35:00Z")
Glad someone caught that… actually it was Ecclesiastes 1:9 - "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. " ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/16 "2002-12-13T05:48:37Z")
“There they are…hear no evil, see no evil, and evil” Bob Dole commenting on a congregation of Jimmy carter, Gerald ford and Richard Nixon at a white House event. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/17 "2002-12-13T05:57:07Z")
Monty Python Troupe in a scene about Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce in Australia done as a song: > [@](#): > > _partial quote, anyways…_ > > **Rene DesCartes was a druken fart. "I drink therefore I am"** And many, many Douglas Adams things… too many to list. Sometimes I think _I’m_ pretty witty. Turns out I’m just half right. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/18 "2002-12-13T06:18:20Z")
“It is better to travel hopefully then to arrive” Robert Louis Stevenson ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/19 "2002-12-13T06:30:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I am Sparticus \* > \*\*Didn’t Eccelsiastes say it before Aristotle? \*\* Thank you for the correction. I was going by what I’ve always been told. I will inform the appropriate synapses immediately. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409/20 "2002-12-13T13:16:18Z")
When I joined the army, my dad told me: “Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can sleep, never pass up a chance to use the bathroom and don’t volunteer for anything”, there was never a wiser man. unclviny [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-cleverest-thing-anyone-ever-said/142409.md?page=2)