# What's the deal with bridal showers? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231 "2010-03-12T13:01:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/21 "2010-03-12T17:49:51Z")
> [@MitzeKatze](#): > > I didn’t have one either. My first wedding was when I was only 17 though so I wasn’t expected to have the household stuff, but my mother followed the even older tradition of accumulating hope chests for her daughters and stockpiling the basics of what we would need when we moved out on our own over the years (knowing my Mom, probably from the birth of each of us!) so I was pretty well prepared as far as the typical shower gifts were concerned. The British equivalent of your hope chest is called the Bottom Drawer (which would literally be the bottom drawer in the chest of drawers in your bedroom). My mother gave me mine when I went to college. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/22 "2010-03-12T18:11:15Z")
In the day, when closeness between families had a higher value than currently, the bridal shower also served the purpose of an opportunity to meet the aunts, friends and cousins of “the other side” since these often were people with whom one’s life would be entertwined. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/23 "2010-03-12T18:24:42Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > The shower is almost always a women only event put on by the maid of honor/bridesmaids. Less so now than it used to be. I’ve been to a couple of showers that included males - usually brothers and husbands/SOs. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/24 "2010-03-12T20:04:21Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > And hey - a vacuum cleaner IS exciting! I still get a little thrill every time I see our new vacuum cleaner sitting in the closet, and we bought it four months ago. I refuse to apologize for or be ashamed of this. 😃 It wasn’t a very exciting vacuum. They’ve become much more interesting the the past two decades. And it certainly wasn’t the “my parents didn’t give us our honeymoon to Hawaii as a shower gift like I asked them to!” Bridezilla rant. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/25 "2010-03-12T20:34:47Z")
Without bridal showers the people that make edible panties would go out of business. Do you want that on your conscious? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/26 "2010-03-12T20:51:07Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Without bridal showers the people that make edible panties would go out of business. Do you want that on your conscious? 🙂 No, silly! That’s for the bachelorette party! 🙂 Bridal showers are going to have mothers and grandmothers…nothing more risque than a topless casserole dish (or maybe a prim and functional nightie) should be involved. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/27 "2010-03-13T00:14:33Z")
In the traditional law in England, of which American law is a sucessor, women lost their right to own property at marriage, losing all legal identity themselves, and in divorce/dissolution, they had no right to marital property, nor even their own earnings while married. Then the Married Women’s Property Acts, which came into being in the US in the mid-1800s (I believe around 1880 in Britain), came along, and they gave women the right to own _that which they already owned before marriage_. Thus, the shower, which is not akin to “wedding gifts” (gifts for the couple) but gifts for the bride specifically, at one time provided the bride with essential property (perhaps the only property) she would be legally entitled to keep should the marriage dissolve. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/28 "2010-03-13T09:10:58Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > In the traditional law in England, of which American law is a sucessor, women lost their right to own property at marriage, losing all legal identity themselves, and in divorce/dissolution, they had no right to marital property, nor even their own earnings while married. > > Then the Married Women’s Property Acts, which came into being in the US in the mid-1800s (I believe around 1880 in Britain), came along, and they gave women the right to own _that which they already owned before marriage_. > > Thus, the shower, which is not akin to “wedding gifts” (gifts for the couple) but gifts for the bride specifically, at one time provided the bride with essential property (perhaps the only property) she would be legally entitled to keep should the marriage dissolve. Great answer! Thank you. It suddenly all makes perfect sense. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231/29 "2010-03-13T15:14:36Z")
> [@MitzeKatze](#): > > …When I receive these invites for showers for women who couldn’t pick me out of a line-up (nor I them) I follow the rest of the (probably artificial) social obligations by politely declining the invitation with a nice card and a gift… Just a clarification: you are under NO social or other obligation to send a gift or even a card if you do not attend the event. Your only social obligations to ANY invitation are to promptly r.s.v.p. and to actually attend if you accept. Maybe you feel obligated to send a card and gift to the employee showers because your husband is the boss, but basically, no obligation. It’s a nice and thoughtful thing to do if you are close to the honoree, but an invitation is not a subpoena or an invoice. And a gift stops being a gift once it is obligatory. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-bridal-showers/532231.md?page=1)