# Whats the deal with girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771 "2004-01-30T16:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Arcite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@Arcite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcite)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/21 "2004-01-30T18:46:04Z")
Quit your job. That’s what I’m doing. I work in IT too and it’s not getting me anywhere. Women think they want domesticated men but they really want outlaw bikers. I plan to become a freelance crocodile hunter, start getting in barfights, and buy a Corvette. Can’t wait for the offers from women to start pouring in. ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/22 "2004-01-30T18:51:53Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > For the love of god, fellow-male-dopers, why as no one hit on this woman yet? I mean, I can’t carry the burden all by myself… Hey Draelin, whassup? How you doin? I have all my teeth but 2 aren’t fully grown in yet (all 4 of my adult canines had an extra tooth come in behind them, all 4 fell out, 2 grew back in fine and the other 2 are about half grown back in) I’m almost 26 and I don’t know if I’m hot or not (and don’t really care) but one of my ex-gf’s is a proffessional model. In 10th grade I took the SAT and I don’t remember what score I got but I do remember that I missed 5 or so questions. In 8th grade I was tested as having a 165 IQ. Scared yet? Well I live in Mentor, OH, you live in the area? Stop by club 9 some time on friday night… Satisfied Max? ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/23 "2004-01-30T19:03:21Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > I don’t think I’ll tell my brother about this thread. He’s in programming school right now. > > I think you need to start looking elsewhere for dates. Lots of us female-type people like geeks. Every guy I’ve ever been interested in was geeky. I consider “geeky” a compliment, so if I call you that, it’s a term of endearment. > > 'Scuse me, I gotta go watch B5 now. I never said I wasn’t a geek too…😃 B5 Rocks! Except for the TNT and the last Sci-Fi season… Just don’t get me started on Dr. Who… What??? Im not a dork!!! I swear!!! _looks around nervously_ btw, i’ve always thought that nerdy girls were hot as hell… ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/24 "2004-01-30T19:06:52Z")
I like geeks. I also like barrel chests and big muscles (and lovehandles, for what it’s worth) No chub, no love to put it crudely. I found my man. Ardred (geek, as that is his favorite past D&D character) is big, built like a dwarf (but 5’9) and cute cute. Enough about him. You aren’t going to the right kinds of places to meet girls that like geeks. (my last boyfriend was a computer programmer). I don’t care what I guy does for a living. I care about the person. Girls who like geeks don’t go to places where dancing is de rigeur because geeks usually can’t dance. Try a good coffee shop or internet cafe. You’ll get a lot luckier. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/25 "2004-01-30T19:23:21Z")
> [@BioHazard](#): > > Hey Draelin, whassup? How you doin? I have all my teeth but 2 aren’t fully grown in yet (all 4 of my adult canines had an extra tooth come in behind them, all 4 fell out, 2 grew back in fine and the other 2 are about half grown back in) I’m almost 26 and I don’t know if I’m hot or not (and don’t really care) but one of my ex-gf’s is a proffessional model. > > In 10th grade I took the SAT and I don’t remember what score I got but I do remember that I missed 5 or so questions. In 8th grade I was tested as having a 165 IQ. Scared yet? > > Well I live in Mentor, OH, you live in the area? Stop by club 9 some time on friday night… > Satisfied Max? Well, it’s a start. Of course, now **WhiteRabbit** has jumped in and claimed that she _also_ likes geeky guys. All you women who like geeky guys should move to Silicon Valley. I mean, if there was a region of the country that was known to be inhabited by enormous numbers of smart, competitive and geeky women, I’d move there in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/26 "2004-01-30T20:17:58Z")
_sob_ Where were all these geek-appreciative girls when I was in high school? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/27 "2004-01-30T20:21:10Z")
Aww, you guys are so sweet. See what I mean about the geeks being sweethearts? 🙂 Unfortunately, **Bio** , I live nowhere near Ohio, but I’ll look you up if I’m ever in the area! _lol_ ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/28 "2004-01-30T20:30:54Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > And nerds don’t scare me off. I love nerds. Nerds, geeks, dorks, all of them. It’s been my experience that an adorable little dork is more attentive than a big manly-man, usually sweeter, and always more interesting to talk to. Brains and a great, off-kilter sense of humour. Give me a nerd everytime. They’re sexy! ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/29 "2004-01-30T21:20:17Z")
I think it might be time for a quoting of the rarely-heard third verse to the _Revenge of the Nerds_ theme song (it’s not actually heard during the movie, unlike verses 1, 2 and 4). While the jocks work out with the football team We’re trying to score with the girl of our dreams We’re not good looking, but here’s a surprise Nerds are great lovers in disguise ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/30 "2004-01-30T21:40:04Z")
The problem is how you’re saying it. Try this way: “I’m a well-hung computer programmer.” Should work much better. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/31 "2004-01-30T22:02:54Z")
> [@saramamlana](#): > > The problem is how you’re saying it. Try this way: > > “I’m a well-hung computer programmer.” Should work much better. 😉 “Why, yes, that is a long long int in my pants, and I _am_ happy to C you” ---
**Author:** ![theckhd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@theckhd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theckhd)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/32 "2004-01-30T22:33:23Z")
Not to nitpick, but you might get slightly biased answers here. You’re posting in a forum frequented by women that are tech-savvy enough to use an online message board. These women are clearly much more intelligent than any woman who would be afraid of you because your job involves computers and programming. 😃 Of course, maybe therein lies the answer to your question. It’s amazing what kind of prejudices the uninformed can come up with. You just have to “shop in the right places.” I found my girlfriend that way – she was in my Modern Physics lab. Out of the “odd goods” i must’ve been the “least odd.” 🆒 I guess that’s something to aim for. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/33 "2004-01-30T22:37:20Z")
I’m about to marry a computer programmer. I’ve always thought he was sexy. Even when he’s playing CivIII or Quake. He looks like an evil scientist then - hair all sticking up, intent on his PC. Yum! You’re definitely talking to the wrong girls. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/34 "2004-01-30T22:56:28Z")
> [@BioHazard](#): > > This always happens to me any time I meet a girl. We get to talking, everythings going great, I get her number, we dance, she seems totally into me until she asks what my job is. I say “I’m a computer programmer” and she says “oh. Well nice to meet you I have to go.” Your name wouldn’t happen to be [Dave](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=237135), would it? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/35 "2004-01-31T00:02:54Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > “Why, yes, that is a long long int in my pants, and I _am_ happy to C you” Maybe I’m too much of a geek, but that is an awful pun. I get it, but it’s still awful. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/36 "2004-01-31T00:56:02Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Maybe I’m too much of a geek, but that is an awful pun. > > I get it, but it’s still awful. Yeah, I apologize. I should have said “…happy to C++ you” instead of “…happy to C you.” That would have been a pun with a lot more class. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/37 "2004-01-31T03:21:02Z")
The first step in examing a problem is framed properly. I beleive that you have framed this question improperly. “What’s the deal with girls” in that an otherwise attractrive computer programmer can’t seem to get any action is a false dillema (not to mention somewhat insulting to the fairer sex.) Computer programmers do occasionally get some. If they didn’t evolution would have dispensed with the breed millions of years ago while they were still playing with abaci. The fact that we have lots of computer programmers today is testament to the fact the tendency to want to do things like program computers is not a detriment to sex. To better frame the question might be “what’s the deal with the girls I’m trying to make time with?” The short answer is that the woman you are pursuing are not very nice. They might not be very nice because of some trick of environment or location with which you are dealing with, and it’s not your fault. Unfortunately, this is a **very** unlikely possibility. The truth is it almost certainly your fault. I mean this without insult. I would guess that you are almost surely pursuing a certain type of women for, well, superficial reasons. Let me guess. These women are hanging out at upscale social places. They are attractive. They are dressed seductively. They all conform to a standard in this. What you need to realize is that all these woman are not naturally bright, attractive, friendly, and sexy. They are making themselves appear superficially so for superficial reasons. It is a **lot** of work for them to do so. You might even say that this is their job, or if you want to be more kind, it is their mission, or their dream. What these women are doing is working to achieve their job/mission/dream. That job/mission/dream is to attract a rich attractive nice man who will treat them well and with whom they can share a life of wealth and fun… or at least a few weeks of it. So these women see you. Presumably you are nice, attractive and fun. Unfortunately the answer “computer programmer” does not suggest your ability to share with them a life (or weeks) of fun. Try “Doctor” or “I own my own software company,” and you will get a different response than you do with computer programmer. These women sound horrible and shallow, don’t they? Aren’t you dressing nicely and giving the appearance of wealth, taste and intelligence specifically to attract a superficial type? Why would you begrudge them doing the same thing? The fact is that a wealthy, attractive, intelligent man who seeks such women, deserves such women. The women deserve him. They inevitably turn out to be each other’s punishment. If you wish to solve your dillemma, you must stop selecting such women. In fact, you must be on guard against them. Women that want to have sex with your wallet are not the type of relationships any mentally healthy person should be cultivating. Nor for that matter should women be interested in men who expect the behaviors such women are willing to demean themselves to in order to each that goal. If you wish to have succesful and meaningful relationships with worthwhile women you need to seek them under different circumstances than barhopping or the nightlife. Hey, you might find true love at the dance club, but it ain’t likely. The best way to meet women who will be great for you by is by being active in your interests. For example, I’m a horseman. I taught horseback riding summers and in school. Girls like horses. I got the opportunity to meet lots of interesting women who were being themselves doing something they enjoyed while I myself was doing something I enjoyed (namely teaching women how to bounce about with a strong beast between their legs (sorry.) Anyway, it wasn’t a problem. It also helps that women outnumber men in horseback riding by a delightfully large number. Meeting them in such circumstances is rather easy, even if you are otherwise as generally undesirable as I am. So my advice to you is that the problem is in fact your problem and not the women whom you are failing with. Pursue your interests socially and you will find women worth pursuing. And try horsemanship. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/38 "2004-01-31T03:30:46Z")
What I don’t get about those sorts of people, men and women, is why they haven’t realized that they’re not in high school anymore. They’re welcome to each other. I’d rather have a sweet geek in my life than an asshole who thinks he’s the pinnacle of manhood or something. I never, ever, EVER liked the popular people. I guess I still don’t. I just wanted them to leave me alone, and now they do. Oh well, their loss, right? ---
**Author:** ![austen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@austen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/austen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/39 "2004-01-31T03:31:39Z")
And, yet again, **Scylla** , you are so much more than right. One must go where the opposite sex yearns. For me, I fear that it means I must hie myself to the oustlands of science camp to catch those under 18 young bloods now that I am 30. Anyhoo, I too yearned for others like myself, until I reached the great wilderness that was State College. Then I bartered for free booze. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771/40 "2004-01-31T03:47:15Z")
I agree that you definitely need to meet some other women. I can’t imagine any good reason that they would decide not to date you simply because you’re a computer programmer. Heck, I know there are lots of sexy computer programmers out there, and just can’t understand why that would be reason to send the girls running. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-girls/226771.md?page=3)