# what's the deal with shaking hands? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 26, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078 "2010-09-26T07:28:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/101 "2010-09-28T18:04:42Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Here’s a question for those of you who may have an…uh…non-standard right hand and a normal left hand: do you prefer to extend your left or your right? > > And those of you who have encountered this situation, which do you find more awkward? My hands are unremarkable, but I recently did business with a man who lost his right hand years ago and now wears a hook-type prosthesis. When we were ready to part company, he just stuck out his left hand and I reflexively grabbed it with my left. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/102 "2010-09-28T18:29:55Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If the teller is a man I just say please leave the change on the counter. Fair enough. This seems strange behaviour to me, but I would of course respect your wishes and obviously this is a personal choice for you that does no-one else any harm. It’s just that your comments earlier about men being jerks for reaching out their hand – I seriously doubt that guys are trying to annoy you or consider a handshake arousing or whatever. It just sounded a little misandrist. > [@](#): > > Here’s a tip, shopkeepers are more likely to bargain and offer extra services when you’re one of the customers who respects their culture also. I try; I’m aware of the calendar and I throw in the occasional “shukran”. FWIW. But I get discounts and assistance just about everywhere because I’m quite polite and friendly 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/103 "2010-09-28T18:30:51Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > > [@Mijin](#): > > > > I’ve got to say this is more extreme than I thought the tradition went. > > > > For example, I just finished a course where there were many arab women, who wore the hijab and objected to male touching (but seemed to touch other women excessively…). Even they however made an exception for shaking hands, accepting how important a social convention it is here, as well as how completely non-sexual it is. > > > > When you go shopping, do you ask that the teller drop the money into your hand to avoid any _gasp_ possible hand contact? > > If the teller is a man I just say please leave the change on the counter. Also, many small businesses (where I am most likely to be using cash) in my neighborhood are owned and run by Asian and Middle Eastern immigrants or descendents of immigrants. Here’s a tip, shopkeepers are more likely to bargain and offer extra services when you’re one of the customers who respects their culture also. And customers are more likely to patronize your shop if you respect _their_ culture, as well. There has been an ongoing problem in some cities where Asians have moved into historically Black neighborhoods and set up shop. Some Asian cultures do not like to hand change directly to their customers, which of course is perfectly reasonable. However, it’s a common insult historically for Blacks that white people would not touch them, drink out of the same drinking fountain, sit next to them, or swim in the same pool. Naturally, with this discrimination in the back of their minds, they find themselves feeling equally as insulted that someone would not wish to touch them as the Asians may be by being touched. So…stalemate, I suppose? Or should we sit here and try to pick apart whose cultural more is more reasonable, who’s been more oppressed, who has more right to be insulted? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/104 "2010-09-28T18:51:33Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > However, it’s a common insult historically for Blacks that white people would not touch them, drink out of the same drinking fountain, sit next to them, or swim in the same pool. Didn’t Denny’s go through a huge lawsuit over this very thing? ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/105 "2010-09-29T23:34:12Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > I never had a problem shaking hands until I developed elbow problems. Why does everyone feel the need to have a really firm grip and to shake really hard? Ooh, I hate that. It’s usually middle-management types who do that to me. I’m a small person with small hands, and there’s no need to crush my bones to a fine powder. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078/106 "2010-09-29T23:43:53Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > > [@Pixiesnix](#): > > > > My mother has an immune disorder\*, which she very nicely explains when she meets new people. So it’s she who can catch an excitingly infectious disease from a handshake. Nobody has taken offense so far, though. > > I never had a problem shaking hands until I developed elbow problems. Why does everyone feel the need to have a really firm grip and to shake really hard? When I was a car salesman, we were taught to shake hands thus. It was part of a deliberate scheme to establish dominance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-shaking-hands/555078.md?page=5)