# What's the deal with Tampax Pearls? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163 "2005-09-05T04:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/1 "2005-09-05T04:11:41Z")
I was in line at the grocery store yesterday. The woman ahead of me had a box of Tampax Pearls on the conveyor belt. As you can see from the link, it even has a picture of a string of pearls on the box. I burst out laughing. Instantly. And I didn’t even try to hold back. I guess it’s the applicator or whatever, some improvement, but…but…all I could think of when I pictured a vagina and a string of pearls was some seedy strip show act. Is that really the image they want? [http://www.tampax.com/en\_us/pages/prod\_main.shtml?pageid=pd0013](http://www.tampax.com/en_us/pages/prod_main.shtml?pageid=pd0013) ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/2 "2005-09-05T04:15:18Z")
The commercials were even worse. And yet, I buy them. ---
**Author:** ![La\_Llorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@La\_Llorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/La_Llorona)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/3 "2005-09-05T04:52:16Z")
Hey, ain’t nothin’ in the world wrong with a nice pearl necklace! ::_blinks_:: What? What? 😉 I must confess that I’m an O.B. and/or Insteads kinda girl myself… ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/4 "2005-09-05T05:06:11Z")
> [@La Llorona](#): > > Hey, ain’t nothin’ in the world wrong with a nice pearl necklace! And, actually, quite a reasonable plan of action at that time of the month… And yet, probably not what they were thinking…what WERE they thinking?? (Since that’s the first thing I thought of…) ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/5 "2005-09-05T05:33:20Z")
I didn’t get the big deal and all the hoo ha (no pun intended) when those came out. All my friends just RAVED about them. “Oh they are the greatest. They do fit and don’t leak and feed the cat when you’re out of town on long weekends.” None of this ever justified the cost to me. Then they went on sale. Lemme tell ya: that was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had in my crotch (…shut. up.). I’m pretty sure a string of pearls could have actually been much more comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/6 "2005-09-05T07:25:56Z")
Whenever I see that box I think of anal beads. That I only know about from going to a Sex Toy party, TYVM. And to completely weird out the guys with a hijack, I use a menstrual cup. :::::_Walks off humming the theme song to the Muppet Show_:::::: ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/7 "2005-09-05T07:44:24Z")
The fancy applicator means nothing to me since I remove applicator tampons from their applicators first. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/8 "2005-09-05T07:46:36Z")
What exactly do the beads do and why do they come scented? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/9 "2005-09-05T07:54:43Z")
The color of the plastic sheathing is a lovely pearlized green, and as I also remove the tampon from the applicator, I don’t see any extra comfort measure from pearly tampons. Real pearls wouldn’t be very absorbant, but I just love finding new places to wear diamonds, I mean pearls! That was a movie quote, Gentleman Prefer Blondes, did any body notice? Never mind ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/10 "2005-09-05T13:15:28Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > They do fit and don’t leak and feed the cat when you’re out of town on long weekends. Your friends reallysould take out the trash before they leave on weekends. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/11 "2005-09-05T14:14:12Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > What exactly do the beads do and why do they come scented? 😕 There are no beads; they’re called “Pearl”, from what I can see, just because the applicator has a pearl-sheen (they probably wanted to make it look fancier and sound fancier, so there ya go). As for scented shit, ugh. For some reason, some tampon companies make scented tampons. This is absolutely rediculous. It’s going rather far up in your crotch, you don’t need artificial baby powder stench hanging in there and irritating your insides. Plays on stupid insecurities and the fear of, oh god, actually being a woman and… and… [sub]_menstruating_[/sub]! :eek: :rolleyes: I’m o.b. all the way. Only gets to be a pain if you remove the tampon a bit too early so it’s hard to get another one in (my number 1 pet peeve about them). ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/12 "2005-09-05T20:57:41Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > There are no beads; they’re called “Pearl”, from what I can see, just because the applicator has a pearl-sheen (they probably wanted to make it look fancier and sound fancier, so there ya go). > > As for scented shit, ugh. For some reason, some tampon companies make scented tampons. This is absolutely rediculous. It’s going rather far up in your crotch, you don’t need artificial baby powder stench hanging in there and irritating your insides. Plays on stupid insecurities and the fear of, oh god, actually being a woman and… and… [sub]_menstruating_[/sub]! :eek: :rolleyes: > > I’m o.b. all the way. Only gets to be a pain if you remove the tampon a bit too early so it’s hard to get another one in (my number 1 pet peeve about them). I wholeheartedly agree on the scented stuff. It’s bad for you and completely unnecessary. I find other girls hardly ever ask me for a tampon since all I carry is o.b.s. “You mean I have to put my fingers up there?” Har har. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/13 "2005-09-05T21:11:32Z")
When I first started wearing tampons, I tried a few different brands, and then settled on Playtex, which had the rounded applicator head. I found them far easier to insert than Tampax’s straight ended tampons. When o.b. came out, I switched to them, and found them to be very comfy, or as comfy as tampons can be, anyway. Plus, I could carry more of them in a small zippered bag in my purse, as they didn’t have applicators to take up the room. I got spayed about four and a half years ago, and I don’t miss worrying about buying and carrying tampons around one bit! ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/14 "2005-09-05T22:42:19Z")
I don’t get a lot of the hype about Tampax - I find them overpriced and uncomfortable. And scented? That’s a new one to me. I wouldn’t put anything scented all the way up there - the itch! The burn! The pointlessness! I, too, use o.b.s and/or Instead. \*\*La Llorona \*\* and any of the others who use o.b.s (or Instead), if you ever find yourselves in my washroom, you may help yourselves to whatever you need, since I know you won’t freak out over my selection. It’s happened before. “Do you have a tampon?” I offer an o.b. “OH DEAR GOD I CAN’T USE THAT!” What are you, _two_? As for the rest of you, ahhh… go play with your pearls. 😛😉 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/15 "2005-09-05T23:06:49Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > I, too, use o.b.s and/or Instead. \*\*La Llorona \*\* and any of the others who use o.b.s (or Instead), if you ever find yourselves in my washroom, you may help yourselves to whatever you need, since I know you won’t freak out over my selection. It’s happened before. “Do you have a tampon?” I offer an o.b. “OH DEAR GOD I CAN’T USE THAT!” What are you, _two_? As for the rest of you, ahhh… go play with your pearls. 😛😉 The ultra o.b.s are especially conducive to weirdness on the parts of those in need. “That’s the biggest tampon I’ve ever seen!” Thanks. I grew it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/16 "2005-09-05T23:12:04Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > And to completely weird out the guys with a hijack, I use a menstrual cup. The things you learn on the Straight Dope. Apparently [Miss Leona Chalmers](http://www.mum.org/CupPat1.htm) was a woman ahead of her time. 🙂 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/17 "2005-09-06T04:20:39Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I wholeheartedly agree on the scented stuff. It’s bad for you and completely unnecessary. American advertisers have had extraordinary success with convincing women they stink. I don’t know if it’s a habit peculiar to Americans, but we’re extremely succeptible to shame advertising. Encouaging Americans to be paranoid that they might smell bad has probably sold more products than any other trick. Every part of our bodies has a product designed to cleanse and perfume it, including an entire industry of different sorts of products devoted to vaginas–deodorants, douches, powders, cleansing wipes, and scented menstrual products. Unless she has an infection, the average woman should have no odor problems that can’t be solved by a simple bath, the vagina being naturally self-clensing. However, legions of women are convinced they will stink unless they flush out the offending orifice regularly, and spray it with specially-designed deodorants. Ironically, use of these products makes it more likely odor will occur, because they may kill beneficial bacteria, or cause a rash or infection. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/18 "2005-09-06T06:40:44Z")
I’ve never tried them (the tampons, that is), but that “absorbant braid” betwixt tampon and string looks entirely too much like a _wick_ to me. I’m a cup gal, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/19 "2005-09-06T13:50:12Z")
I’ ve tried Tampax Pearls and decided I like regular Tampax better. The plastic aplicators are too cold. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163/20 "2005-09-06T15:18:47Z")
Here is a copy of the appellate [opinion](http://www.ca2.uscourts.gov:81/isysnative/RDpcT3BpbnNcU1VNXDAzLTc2NTFfc28ucGRm/03-7651_so.pdf#xml=http://10.213.23.111:81/isysquery/irl63a2/2/hilite) upholding a permanent injunction against the original claims made by Tambrands that Pearl was a superior tampon. The court notes that evidence supported the inference that “the braid undermined the main pledget’s absorbency,” “the Pearl leaked significantly faster than the Gentle Glide,” and the Pearl’s absorbent braid became “full of syngina fluid” before the primary absorbent reached saturation." Apparently, a syngina is “an instrument ‘designed to be an in-body simulation.’” :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-tampax-pearls/320163.md?page=2)