# What's the dumbest crime you ever witnessed or were a victim of? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2017, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715 "2017-01-09T13:56:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/81 "2017-01-11T20:12:51Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Someone took the ashtray and about $3 in change from my car. Apparently, cars in America are required to have $3 in change in an ashtray or cupholder – strange. > [@Sparky812](#): > > Actually, they _ **tacked** _ him in the street and kept him “subdued” until the cops arrived. The girls told me he quite very relieved to see the cops. I’m sure he still has some 30 year old scars from their _ **soccer cleats** _. [sup]{_ **Bolding & italics mine** _}[/sup] How did the cops get him up after the girls nailed him? – Uh, maybe my statement needs some commas too - or something 😉 > [@aceplace57](#): > > I bought the CRC Handbook of Engineering Tables … A book like that has very little practical use. I disagree! Mine is in my collection of reference books I never open. Makes the bookcase look very nice! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/82 "2017-01-12T15:12:36Z")
It’s not really a crime, but sometime stupid nevertheless. Not me, but when I was working security on campus I was friends with a campus policewoman. One day she had her baby in a stroller in a department store, and was looking at something when she noticed that the stroller was missing. There was some guy taking it away, with the baby on board, and then claimed that it was a “joke.” Haha funny. Except she had her off duty weapon out and pointed at him. The city officers called in to assist decided that the experience of being booked may help him understand the inappropriateness of such jokes in the future. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/83 "2017-01-12T16:05:02Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Pretty sure this is the CRC that I had. 2670 pages. Except mine was from 1979. > > We were about to graduate from this 2 year course with an Associate degree in Electronics. The teacher said we could order the book at a discount. At least half the graduating class ordered one. We had no idea how big it was or how specialized a book it is. > > Makes a great boat anchor. 😃 > > [CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics, 97th Edition: Haynes, William M.: 9781498754286: Amazon.com: Books](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1498754287/ref=pd_aw_sbs_14_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=R2D5TFDHYYHH4MVFMVMA) Wow. You can buy it or rent it for Kindle. I’ve never seen a Kindle rental before. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/84 "2017-01-12T17:24:47Z")
Last summer I left my car unlocked in the driveway due to an alarm short that went off every night around 3am. While the thief did get my radar detector, he also snagged a plastic bag containing a nasty old toilet seat I was taking to Home Depot for a size match. Wish I coulda seen reaction when he opened the bag! In his wilder says my brother got shitfaced and drove his motorcycle into a bar and did doughnuts until the bouncer tore him off the bike. I think he got 30 days for that stunt. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/85 "2017-01-13T02:01:42Z")
I once dated a woman with a kid from a failed relationship (to put it mildly). Kid was sent to live with his father - who had been buying up marginal rental properties and had finally nailed a very nice apartment building. There was a very curious transaction of him “selling” the building to his 25 yr old son for about 1/5 of its market value (they both lived in the building). Property taxes are set by sales price. This is the only conceivable reason for this transaction (father was a very “cost conscious” person). The kid wants to marry - under CA law, if he were to die intestate, the wife would get the property, not the father. The kid dies of an OD in a motel room. One of those motels which do not call the cops when they find a dead body. Father and friend\* remove body. Father builds a box, puts the body in box and tries to make it disappear. If I give any more info, it would take about 3 seconds to ID me, so I am not going to go further. - - remember that joke about friends and moving bodies? Not so funny any more, is it? ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/86 "2017-01-13T02:08:23Z")
The wife “wrote” a book about this. I do not know how the court ruled on the civil case of “who gets the building?”. It is just too pathetic to look into. I have no idea why I chose that particular day to check the news from where I used to live (thought I was going to say “used to be”, didn’t you?) ;). A day (not to mention a week or month, as was more common) to pull up that particular site. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/87 "2017-01-13T02:32:19Z")
In college, my rental house was broken into. They took a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red and a bag of flour. I could understand a gutter drunk breaking into a college student’s apartment desperate for liquor, but I don’t understand the flour. There was plenty of food left untouched. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/88 "2017-01-13T05:57:22Z")
My mother had some checks stolen from a checkbook she had accidentally left at her work. The cleaning staff member wrote a check to herself and deposited it in her own account with an obviously forged signature. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/89 "2017-01-13T07:06:26Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > Someone broke into my apartment and stole (among other things) a box made of cherry wood that probably looked like it contained jewelry. Instead it contained the ashes of my late dog Zoe. > > Zoe was always full of tricks when she was alive. We like to imagine the surprised faces of the thieves opening the box. We call it “Zoe’s last prank.” My mothers friend (medical stuedent) had the skull stolen from the front seat of her car, back in the 40’s when Chicago crims were more superstitious than they are now… Nice box. Whoever stole it opened the box about 20 yards down the street, saw what was inside, and just left. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/90 "2017-01-13T07:07:26Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I join the clap. > > My roommate once had someone break into his car and steal his running shoes. They left their beat up crappy old sneakers behind in their place, which somehow didn’t make him feel any better. My home too. And a bottle containing about $50 change. He went out the back window as I came in the front door, but he left his old worn sneakers parked just in front of the wardrobe, where he’d stepped out of them to step into something better. I guess the cops could have done a DNA check on the sneakers, or fingerprinted the back window, but they didn’t. Also, just by the way, a workmate had his car stolen from the railway station where he left it parked each day. It wasn’t a very good car. They brought it back to the railway station two days later and stole something better. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/91 "2017-01-13T07:10:46Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > That flasher certainly didn’t get the response he wanted – one nurse just said “I’m off duty.” and the other just laughed. Another nurse, this would be 40 years ago: “I’ve seen much bigger ones than that.” ---
**Author:** ![Magicicada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c67d28/32.png) [@Magicicada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magicicada)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/92 "2017-01-13T08:26:55Z")
Who among us has not stolen our husband’s prescription pain pills and then, when he tried to stop us from getting in the car and driving under the influence of said pain pills, has not retaliated by throwing a lawn ornament at him?\* \*Me. I have not ever done this. But I know someone who has. Also, a neighbor got evicted from the apartment building where we were living. This eviction was due to her not having paid rent for several months. She had ample warning of the eviction and could have moved sooner but refused to leave her tomato plants behind. During the eviction it was discovered that she had hooked into our electricity and another neighbor’s gas line. She also made a late-night trip back to break into her old apartment and vandalize the post-her remodeling job. She was ordered not to come back onto the property again. Some months later, I planted flowers in the bed out front, working around some perennials that were already there. One day I went out to admire my flowers, and discovered about half a dozen evenly spaced holes. I had to stare at them for several seconds before I finally realized she had come back and gotten her flowers. ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/93 "2017-01-13T13:34:34Z")
I came home, the screen was off the window, items on the desk were knocked over, nothing was missing. But the shower was wet, the soap and shampoo had been moved and the towel was still damp. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/94 "2017-01-13T13:49:44Z")
A would be car thief broke into my car one night c. 12 years ago. My stereo had one of those removable/replaceable pop off front display face plate things. He took that-and a stack of CD’s in a CD case. Maintenance at the apt. complex here found the face plate, and I was able to pop it right back in-worked just as well as it did before, overnight dew or not. Never did find the CD’s. Without the cases they originally came in they would be no good to a used CD store. Since some were rare and/or valued, I was more POed at their loss than I would have been getting a replacement front plate for the stereo. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/95 "2017-01-13T13:56:57Z")
My favorite that I saw was when I was working at a single owner gas station in college. The cops were using a corner of the parking lot to run seat belt enforcement, which I believe had just become a primary reason that they could pull someone over. So it’s a slow day and I’m watching the cops pull people over from time to time and cite them in the lot. Then they pull a guy over for not wearing his belt. Apparently they had enough probable cause or perhaps an outstanding warrant or the like to ask him to get out (this was the middle of the morning) and search the car. They start looking, and one of the cops pulls out a half-full bottle of whiskey. A little more searching, and now there’s a bag of something (couldn’t guess at the drug from the distance) pulled out as well. Guy is cuffed and driven away and eventually a tow truck shows up to remove the car. Moral of the story: If you’re doing other illegal things while driving, wear your seat belt. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/96 "2017-01-13T14:46:14Z")
> [@Sigene](#): > > someone stole a shower from me But who among us has not taken a shower at some point? First stone and all… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/97 "2017-01-13T14:55:55Z")
Which brings to mind my daughter’s favorite joke when she was a pre-teen. Daughter: Ask me if I took a shower. Victim: Did you take a shower? Daughter: Why? Is one missing? _\_ Apologies for the hijack… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/98 "2017-01-13T15:59:00Z")
One night, at the pizza place I used to run, a group of guys spent a few hours drinking beer. As they were leaving, one of them walked up to the front counter, grabbed the tip jar, said “Later!” and bolted. My first instinct was to chase him, but I thought better of it. He was a former employee, and it hadn’t been that long since he’d quit. So I went back to my office and found his file, and supplied the police with his name, address, phone number, SSN, etc. As I remember it, it _still_ took them six months or more to catch up with him. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/99 "2017-01-13T16:51:25Z")
My car was broken into with a screwdriver, and the thieves took my car manual, some work papers and unscrewed the three pens I had in my car. The whole thing left me baffled, but especially the pens being unscrewed. I understood just grabbing what you could and making a run for it, but the fact that they took the time to disassemble my pens and leave the contents behind just really confused me. It wasn’t until months later that I learned that people hide drugs in pens, and they were looking to see if I had anything stashed away. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Spayed\_PI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sam\_Spayed\_PI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Spayed_PI)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/100 "2017-01-13T18:12:45Z")
In the good old days, it used to be quite common for people to steal car antennae (why, I can’t tell you). Consequently, it was also quite common for people to replace their antennae with wire coat hangers (which work remarkably well, actually). Since my dad parked our car on the street in New York City, it wasn’t long before the antenna was snapped off, so he replaced it with a coat hanger. Someone stole the coat hanger. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715.md?page=6)