# What's the dumbest crime you ever witnessed or were a victim of? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2017, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715 "2017-01-09T13:56:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/121 "2017-01-14T23:56:37Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > A would be car thief broke into my car one night c. 12 years ago. > > My stereo had one of those removable/replaceable pop off front display face plate things. > > He took that-and a stack of CD’s in a CD case. > > Maintenance at the apt. complex here found the face plate, and I was able to pop it right back in-worked just as well as it did before, overnight dew or not. > > Never did find the CD’s. Without the cases they originally came in they would be no good to a used CD store. Since some were rare and/or valued, I was more POed at their loss than I would have been getting a replacement front plate for the stereo. Some bastard stole the CD’s from my house (back when I lived in a high-crime area). Including the install disks from an enterprise edition of a software development environment. Worth ~$1000 to us, worth nothing to a used CD store. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/122 "2017-01-15T01:11:29Z")
Just remembered another one. When I was in college, I knew a guy who was from a rather well-off family, and his home was broken into and one of two identical unlocked boxes in his mom’s closet were stolen. One box was full of loose change; the other one had a few tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry in it. Guess which one was stolen? Yeah. The one with the change. OTOH, it’s also possible that the thief suspected that the jewelry might be fake, but knew the coins were real and worth at least face value. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/123 "2017-01-15T01:17:40Z")
And another one, from when I was in college the second time in the early 1990s. At the time, kids wearing hood ornaments as necklaces was a big fad, and lots of kids obtained them legitimately by purchasing them from auto dealerships. However, stealing them was a big problem, and there was a mall in my town that reported a lot of stolen hood ornaments. Authorities believed it was most likely being done by teenagers, until a mother who was hanging clothes up in her 10-year-old son’s closet found a shoebox containing the wire cutters her husband couldn’t find a few days earlier…and a couple dozen hood ornaments. :eek: She called her husband and the police, and they all showed up at the school and called the boy, who was an honor student who had never been in trouble, out of class and showed him the box. He said, “Oh, yeah, me and (he names his two best friends) have been collecting them.” :smack: The other boys confirmed this, and their parents were called too. One boy threw up in the school principal’s trash can when he was told that those ornaments cost about $50 each; he had no idea. :o In the end, because it couldn’t be proven who stole which hood ornaments and the kids were so young, the punishment consisted of the boys writing letters of apology to all the people who had reported their hood ornaments stolen at that location. Several people who’d had their cars vandalized said on the record that they felt this was an appropriate and fair punishment, and that it sounded like some kids who didn’t know any better and hopefully learned their lessons. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/124 "2017-01-15T01:46:22Z")
I am told that when I was about 4, a neighbor kid and I found a paint can and a brush or brushes in another neighbor’s driveway, so we went to town on his garage door. The police arrived at the door and presented to my mother the piece of damning evidence: my brother’s cowboy hat, which I guess I must have been wearing. The frame up failed, though, because my brother was in school. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/125 "2017-01-15T03:02:04Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Why? The police had concrete evidence. > The thieves should be doing hard time. I donno. Maybe they were framed? Could the case have been cracked? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/126 "2017-01-15T03:18:36Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I donno. Maybe they were framed? Could the case have been cracked? So you think there’s a chance they were set up? ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/127 "2017-01-15T03:54:11Z")
Someone broke into my car to steal my change. They didn’t take the quarters. They didn’t take the nickels. They only took the dimes. For $.40, they caused $400 in damage to my door, as they completely busted the lock. Also, they got caught later that night, so they didn’t even get to pick up that pack of gum they were obviously trying to finance. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/128 "2017-01-15T04:01:44Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > So you think there’s a chance they were set up? It was just getting harder and harder. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/129 "2017-01-15T04:09:16Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > It was just getting harder and harder. Besides, you can’t look at only what is stolen when there is a crime. The aggregate must be considered. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/130 "2017-01-15T04:28:50Z")
In the 1970’s when I was living on a farm in eastern Canada, some kids broke into a neighboring farmhouse at night. In order to keep the sleeping inhabitants from possibly waking up and calling the police, they cleverly cut the phone line first. Except it turned out to be the clothesline. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/131 "2017-01-15T20:16:32Z")
After work about twenty years ago, I met my wife and young son at her mothers house. Driving home, son with me, wife following behind, right lane, doing the speed limit, maybe 5 mph over, kid cuts between us and begins _extreme_ tailgating. Wife pulls out next to him, enraged. As I make a right into our neighborhood, he takes off with her chasing him. Three blocks up, he turns left into the precinct house, runs inside and tells the desk sergeant there’s a crazy woman chasing him. She gives the officer her version, and he asks the kid if he was tailgating. Kid says he wasn’t, he was _ **at least two feet** _ behind me. :smack: “Have you been drinking?” :dubious: “Maybe two or three beers.” :eek: “Okay, come in the back.” 😃 “Thank you Ma’am, we’ll take it from here.” ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/132 "2017-01-15T20:44:10Z")
Someone stole the windshield wiper blades off of a friend’s car while it was parked in NYC. They cost less than $5 and don’t seem to have a lot of resale value. We were just baffled by it, and joked about him fencing them a guy with a heavy jacket that opens to reveal a bunch of bootleg windshield wipers. ---
**Author:** ![roxie\_monoxide](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6bbea6/32.png) [@roxie\_monoxide](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roxie_monoxide)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/133 "2017-01-15T23:24:10Z")
A friend came home one evening to find their house broken into. The house was quite small, so they entered through the back door, through the tiny kitchen, the living room and into the bedroom where they grabbed a bunch of stuff from her jewellery box. The stupid part? This woman always wore four or five gold necklaces and at least two rings on each finger. When she got home from work, she would take them all off before starting dinner and place them in a crystal ashtray that sat on her kitchen table. The muddy footprints left behind showed that the thieves had passed that table with all her gold jewellery twice, leaving with a bunch of costume jewellery worth nothing. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/134 "2017-01-16T00:38:37Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > Someone stole the windshield wiper blades off of a friend’s car while it was parked in NYC. They cost less than $5 and don’t seem to have a lot of resale value. We were just baffled by it, and joked about him fencing them a guy with a heavy jacket that opens to reveal a bunch of bootleg windshield wipers. Was it in a neighborhood where a lot of Russians lived? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/135 "2017-01-16T15:06:50Z")
Someone stole the twenty dollar bill I left on the shelf of a shop in Silver Dollar City. I call it a stupid crime because I was dumb enough to leave it there in the first place. It was a magic shop, and as I pulled out the bill for a trick, I realized how it was done and that it wasn’t worth it. And I just absentmindedly put it down, not realizing it until I counted my money again later. I guess there’s also the guy who tried to steal my Game Boy at school. The school has an on duty cop, and you can’t leave the school to hide it somewhere. Of course you’re gonna get caught. Then again, they did still get away with my game, replacing it with a different one. But I allowed it as I was tired of that game I had, and knew I liked the one they replaced it with. Either that, or he stole more than one Game Boy and game and I got the wrong one back. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/136 "2017-01-16T15:21:35Z")
My truck was broken into once. They didn’t take the $350 radar detector, nor the $500 Kenwood radio. The only thing they took was: two rolls of quarters, worth $20, from my center console, which I’d gotten from the bank that day in order to do laundry. What I found funniest was, they opened my center console and clearly saw the CDs in there, but they must’ve decided I didn’t have any they wanted to steal after seeing Andrea Bocelli’s _Romanza_ on the top. There were plenty of other genres under it, though. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/137 "2017-01-17T05:24:21Z")
So, Annie, there’s still an unanswered question from your cement mixer story: > [@A person stole our cement mixer. WHY?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-person-stole-our-cement-mixer-why/453945/76): > > “Bear” and “Mole” are variations of their street names. I made up “Crane.” Yeah, everybody knows everybody by their street names. > > The cement mixer has not been found. Bear is saying he had permission to take it, Mole is still screaming about us “siccing the police on me” and Crane is whining about how much trouble she is in. We have filed charges, so it is going to be very interesting… > [@A person stole our cement mixer. WHY?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-person-stole-our-cement-mixer-why/453945/81): > > I don’t understand. If Bear “had permission to take it”, why doesn’t he know where he put it? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/138 "2017-01-17T06:02:49Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > We agreed to drop the charges once we got the cement mixer back, and a restraining order against them. Thanks for the update. And I guess there’s just no curing the punsters on this board. Whatever floats your boats. ---
**Author:** ![ultimate11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/49beb7/32.png) [@ultimate11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultimate11)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/139 "2017-01-17T12:59:34Z")
In 2014 I was leaving the Orange Line terminal at Midway Airport when I noticed some drunk pissing on a wall outside the trains with cops in front of the guy. Pick anywhere you want to piss, but don’t piss near cops. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715/140 "2017-01-17T14:54:34Z")
> [@digs](#): > > So, Annie, there’s still an unanswered question from your cement mixer story: He was just so pissed that he didn’t get the job, and he was furious that we’d called the cops on him over a “harmless prank.” It was only after the cops threatened him and his cronies with some serious hard time that he returned it. In one piece. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-crime-you-ever-witnessed-or-were-a-victim-of/776715.md?page=8)