# What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054 "2017-06-03T23:16:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/21 "2017-06-04T03:51:28Z")
“Is this salt fresh?” Gee, I dunno - define “fresh” for a rock. 2 billion years?. This was followed by “How long is this salt good for, what’s the best buy date?” Gee, I dunno - heat death of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/22 "2017-06-04T04:00:23Z")
I work for a multinational corporation, and recently there have been muttered rumors that leadership is working on having the company go public. Guy who sits next to me has worked there for a couple or four years by now. Last week he was working on some student loan paperwork at his desk, turns to me, and asks: “Are we a non-profit?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/23 "2017-06-04T04:08:12Z")
> [@HelenGawn](#): > > "What was the name of the ship in _The Poseidon Adventure?"_ > > My straightforward answer was countered with, “You think you’re so smart!” When people find out that I’m color-blind, they often ask me, _so, how do you tell whether it’s a red light or a green light?_ Which puts me in a bind. See, if I silently respond with an “oh, come on” stare, then the answer of course soon dawns on them; but that’s _insulting_. But if I crisply state that one is on top and one is on the bottom, well, they’d of course take _that_ as an insult likewise. And if I take my time explaining how one is on the top and one is on the bottom? Well, again, the answer dawns on 'em fast – which is to say, _while I’m still getting to it_ – at which point I can see the “uh, I get it” look hit while I’m still slowly explaining as if to a small child, which (a) is insulting; or (b) shifts into them looking at me like _I’m_ a bit slow, because I apparently needed to put a ton of thought into something so obvious. And, hell, maybe I _am_ a bit slow, since I keep getting asked that question and I still haven’t yet managed to come up with a less bad reply. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/24 "2017-06-04T04:08:47Z")
> [@femmejean](#): > > Not me but my friend who was about to have sex with this girl… > > “Should you wear a condom?” > > This was a 19yr old girl when he was 17…that’s all I’ll say. Maybe she had female condoms available? BTW, my “Dumbest Question” is along these exact lines. Many years ago, I dated a man who would get very annoyed with me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, and trust me, the gate was nailed shut when he asked me if I thought any of the guys in R.E.M. had ever had sex with women to whom they were not married. :eek: :smack: Let’s just say that Peter Buck did a major overkill job of answering THAT question a few years later; so had Mike Mills but we didn’t know it at the time. Several years later, I told this story to a therapist, and while I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face, she looked out the window and said, “This guy sounds to me like he’s a few cookies short of a package.” And we know now that at least one of them has also had sex with men to whom he was not married. ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/25 "2017-06-04T04:10:49Z")
Several years ago my Roommate was out somewhere one evening then called me up and asked: “what’s our phone number?” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/26 "2017-06-04T04:15:30Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Maybe she had female condoms available? > > BTW, my “Dumbest Question” is along these exact lines. > > Many years ago, I dated a man who would get very annoyed with me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, and trust me, the gate was nailed shut when he asked me if I thought any of the guys in R.E.M. had ever had sex with women to whom they were not married. > > :eek: :smack: > > Let’s just say that Peter Buck did a major overkill job of answering THAT question a few years later; so had Mike Mills but we didn’t know it at the time. > > Several years later, I told this story to a therapist, and while I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face, she looked out the window and said, “This guy sounds to me like he’s a few cookies short of a package.” > > And we know now that at least one of them has also had sex with men to whom he was not married. Sorry, my dumb, what’s R.E.M. in this context? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/27 "2017-06-04T04:27:38Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Sorry, my dumb, what’s R.E.M. in this context? Because I was a big fan of the band, and my username is the title of my favorite song by them. Here's another that happened to me. My first job was at a restaurant; I quit that job and later went to work at Target. Someone from the restaurant came through my cashier lane and asked me, “So, where do you work now?” :smack: Do keep in mind that we were both about 16 years old at the time. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/28 "2017-06-04T04:29:00Z")
> [@Sigene](#): > > Several years ago my Roommate was out somewhere one evening then called me up and asked: “what’s our phone number?” How long ago was this? If it was in recent years, s/he may have used speed dial. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/29 "2017-06-04T04:52:27Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Sorry, my dumb, what’s R.E.M. in this context? Well, my dumb too (hey, I like that phrase!); but even though I knew REM was a band, I still don’t know what makes that question so dumb. Is there a further explanation, please? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/30 "2017-06-04T05:55:05Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Asking how big a 16-inch pizza is sounds like asking for a visual demonstration of its size (“It’s as big as _this_” - gesturing with both hands)… He asked me over the phone. > [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Back in the days when I lived in Paris, I had someone ask me where the Gare du Nord railway station was. We were standing in the entrance to the station at the time. I’ve been through Gare du Nord. Wish I’d have more time to look around, but my cab dropped me out front, I ran to my train, and the door was closed before I got to my seat. I was in New York City once and someone asked me where the Empire State Building was. We were across the street from it. > [@](#): > > I volunteer at a local attraction called the 1940 Air Terminal Museum. I’ve been asked more than once when the terminal first opened. It’s fun to see the light dawn when I say, “1940”. Ooh, sounds very cool. The reason I was almost late to catch my train was because I couldn’t tear myself away from the Air & Space Museum at Le Bourget. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/31 "2017-06-04T06:07:46Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > “Betty who?” > > This was in response to my question, which was, “What is Betty’s last name?” How is this a stupid question? I’d expect a response like, “Betty, you know John’s girlfriend” or “Betty, the girl who works on reception” or some clarification of which Betty you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/32 "2017-06-04T06:11:51Z")
“When did you first learn that you were an evil person?” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/33 "2017-06-04T06:17:15Z")
At the grocery store; “Do you sell eggs?” A close #2 would be a customer looking at an end-cap display of, say, 2 liter Pepsi bottles, and asking “Is this all the soda you have?” ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/34 "2017-06-04T06:59:08Z")
I was at the Grand Canyon and another tourist asked me if there was an elevator to the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/35 "2017-06-04T07:23:37Z")
Many years ago I was out trick or treating on Halloween with my boys, the neighbour and her kids and their Great Dane. This really drunk guy wandered by, stopped, peered at the Dane and said “is that a real dog?!” Naw, it’s a really skinny legged guy… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/36 "2017-06-04T07:31:28Z")
I had a cashier ask me the other day if I wanted cheese on my quesadilla. I would have given him a harder time, but truth is, about two weeks prior, I asked a different cashier if my quesadilla came with cheese. I am the Queen of Dumb Questions, so I can only judge so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/37 "2017-06-04T08:00:01Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > “Is this salt fresh?” > > Gee, I dunno - define “fresh” for a rock. 2 billion years?. This was followed by > > “How long is this salt good for, what’s the best buy date?” > > Gee, I dunno - heat death of the universe. Well, there’s Mark 9:50 and Luke 14:34; but – approximately quoting a forward-looking guy in a 17th-century-set novel – “the gift of those who wrote the Bible was for things of the spirit, rather than encyclopedic natural philosophy.” ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/38 "2017-06-04T08:05:41Z")
> [@Mr\_Shine](#): > > How is this a stupid question? I’d expect a response like, “Betty, you know John’s girlfriend” or “Betty, the girl who works on reception” or some clarification of which Betty you mean. It’s a stupid question because I needed to know Betty’s last name, and “Betty who?” was just the same question said back to me. I mean, if I knew Betty who, then I wouldn’t have needed to know her last name. It’s not like we knew a lot of Bettys. But of course I also recognized that it was a reflexive kind of response to my question and so did the person who said it, so we both laughed. So here’s my #2. “Can you fax me the original?” So I told her I would fax her the original, and laid the original down on the fax machine. Hope she was satisfied with what she got. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/39 "2017-06-04T08:09:02Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I was in New York City once and someone asked me where the Empire State Building was. We were across the street from it. When all you know of it is what it looks like on the Manhattan skyline, I don’t think that’s all so surprising not to recognise it up close. ---
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/40 "2017-06-04T08:35:20Z")
“Where’s the entrance to the museum?” We were both inside the museum, about 40 feet away from the only entrance, which he had to have walked through. To be fair, though, it was a pretty small space, and he may have thought it was some sort of antechamber to a larger gallery space. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=3)