# What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054 "2017-06-03T23:16:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/41 "2017-06-04T08:39:50Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > When all you know of it is what it looks like on the Manhattan skyline, I don’t think that’s all so surprising not to recognise it up close. That’s true. And the way the building tapers (for lack of a better word) means you can’t really see the distinctive top when you’re standing next to the bottom. It was just that El\_Kabong reminded me of it. Oddly, I am not from NYC and was only a tourist there, myself. But I did know where the Empire State Building was. Another time I was in Washington, D.C., also as a tourist, and someone asked me where the Hard Rock Cafe was. I guess I just always look like I know where I’m going. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/42 "2017-06-04T09:14:58Z")
I used to answer the phone in a zoo, pre-google. “There’s a bird in my garden, what should I do?” (I did check, it wasn’t injured or seemingly in distress, just a bird, in the garden). “I’ve got a moth in my garage, can you come and get it out for me?” Also asked almost daily by people in the centre: “Is the outside section through this door?” pointing at door with “Outside section this way!” written on it. I started answering “Nope, we just wrote that on to confuse people,” but everyone just opened it and went through anyway. I wasn’t asked this, it was something someone else asked the guide on a dolphin watching trip I was on, but I love the weird assumptions behind it: “Where do dolphins go when it rains?” ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/43 "2017-06-04T09:26:14Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > It’s a stupid question because I needed to know Betty’s last name, and “Betty who?” was just the same question said back to me. I mean, if I knew Betty who, then I wouldn’t have needed to know her last name. It’s not like we knew a lot of Bettys. > > But of course I also recognized that it was a reflexive kind of response to my question and so did the person who said it, so we both laughed. > > So here’s my #2. “Can you fax me the original?” > > So I told her I would fax her the original, and laid the original down on the fax machine. Hope she was satisfied with what she got. Obviously I don’t know you, I don’t know the person you were speaking to and I don’t know Betty, but if s/he knows more than one Betty, even if after a moments thought s/he’d realise you only mutually know 1, an immediate response to ask for clarification hardly seems stupid, especially as presented in your first post. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/44 "2017-06-04T10:27:00Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > “When did you first learn that you were an evil person?” You took mine, so I’ll relate an anecdote that I wwas involved in more than once: Back in my submarining days, on long voyages, I would sometimes sit down to write a letter to my wife. This sometimes drew interested attention, as writing a letter to her involved Braille, either with a Perkins Brailler, or with a slate and stylus. Someone would ask me what I was making, and I would answer “A letter to my wife, in Braille.” Then would come the stupid question: “So, do you talk to her in sign language?” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/45 "2017-06-04T10:34:44Z")
nm. Double post. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/46 "2017-06-04T11:03:49Z")
Not me, but my brother was asked by a construction worker “Is there gravity on Mars?” ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/47 "2017-06-04T11:23:26Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve been through Gare du Nord. Wish I’d have more time to look around You didn’t miss much. Big shed, overcrowded main concourse, limited space for shops and restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/48 "2017-06-04T11:25:40Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > “Where do dolphins go when it rains?” I’d be tempted to reply “They open their umbrellas and pretend they’re swimming around in a giant cocktail”. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/49 "2017-06-04T12:18:23Z")
When I lived in Japan I would get lots of stupid questions from the natives. They would know that I had lived there for 25 years and still they would ask questions such as “Can you use chopsticks?” Or after they found out that I can read 1400 or so kanji, then they would ask if I could read hiragana (the simplified syllabary consisting of 46characters). Once when my wife couldn’t reach me on my cell, she tried the home number and after I answered she asked “Where are you?” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/50 "2017-06-04T12:20:40Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Back in the days when I lived in Paris, I had someone ask me where the Gare du Nord railway station was. We were standing in the entrance to the station at the time… If it’s something iconic like the Eiffel Tower, fair enough; but why do you think a visitor is stupid if they don’t instantly recognize that they have arrived at the entrance to the Gare du Nord? Is there a big sign over the entrance or something? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/51 "2017-06-04T12:28:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Then would come the stupid question: “So, do you talk to her in sign language?” :smack: “I used to but I gave it up 'cause she never answered.” This wasn’t aimed at me specifically but I was an eyewitness. When I worked in a casino I was on shift one New Year’s Eve, and like at a bar, this is when people who’ve never set foot in a gambling establishment before do so now. As a mechanic I was fielding all sorts of inane questions (Where do I put in the money? Under your right hand there’s a big slot with $1 on it.) and when I rounded a corner grumbling about amateur gamblers a bar maid laughed, “I know. ‘Do you have beer?’ ‘Lemme check; we might have a case left in the back.’” A young man playing a slot by us turned and spotting her tray, asked, “Oooh! There’s a bar here?” “Yes; a couple, in fact.” “How much are the drinks?” “They’re free, so long as you’re playing.” “What can I get?” “Anything you want; it’s a full-service bar.” “I’ll have . . . a mai-tai!” We turned away quick to keep from laughing in his face. “Get the kid a mai-tai,” I said, “And good luck with the tip.” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/52 "2017-06-04T12:34:33Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > If it’s something iconic like the Eiffel Tower, fair enough; but why do you think a visitor is stupid if they don’t instantly recognize that they have arrived at the entrance to the Gare du Nord? Is there a big sign over the entrance or something? Well, yes, although admittedly it’s engraved in the stone façade and perhaps not as prominent as it might be. Still, I would have thought that all the trains might have given the game away. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/53 "2017-06-04T12:44:41Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Ooh, sounds very cool. The reason I was almost late to catch my train was because I couldn’t tear myself away from the Air & Space Museum at Le Bourget. Yeah le Bourget is great. Regarding the 1940 air terminal, it is indeed pretty cool. It’s located on the west side of Hobby airport in Houston. Please check it out if you’re ever in town. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/54 "2017-06-04T12:57:44Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Also asked almost daily by people in the centre: > “Is the outside section through this door?” pointing at door with “Outside section this way!” written on it. I started answering “Nope, we just wrote that on to confuse people,” but everyone just opened it and went through anyway. I’ve found that people in general are terrible at communicating. Along with the math/visualizing size question mentioned near the top of the thread, for this one I suspect that what they really meant to ask is permission. I.e. “Is this doorway for customers?” as opposed to a staff entrance or whatever. I have a couple that I’ve remembered years after they happened: Eons ago when I was a young punk working in fast food in the 1980’s there was sort of a fashion trend to braid just a tiny bit of hair and leave the rest loose. So one workday I put a tiny braid at the back of my neck but the rest of it had to go tied up under my hat as per the uniform policy. One of my less brilliant coworkers pointed and asked “is ALL your hair in that one braid?” Much later, when I was working as a computer programmer/sysadmin/consultant for an IT company, I had a client call me up to ask how to FTP a file. I knew this guy and knew that he FTP’ed files all the time, so was a bit puzzled at why he was now asking for instruction. But I took it seriously and started explaining the steps (as also outlined in the documentation I’d provided him earlier). He interrupted me with “Yes, I know that part, but…” and tried to ask again what the steps were to FTP a file. I tried a different way to explain and he interrupted me again. We did this dance like four times before he finally just said “Let me go ask someone what I need to ask you” and hung up. He never did call back. ---
**Author:** ![Modesty\_Blaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Modesty\_Blaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modesty_Blaise)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/55 "2017-06-04T13:10:07Z")
Me: I’m an atheist. Them: Aren’t you afraid of going to hell? That happened on two separate occasions. Me answering the phone: Hello Them: Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/56 "2017-06-04T13:23:35Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > “Is this salt fresh?” > > Gee, I dunno - define “fresh” for a rock. 2 billion years?. This was followed by > > “How long is this salt good for, what’s the best buy date?” > > Gee, I dunno - heat death of the universe. Don’t laugh. The box of salt in my pantry has a best-by date of 09/2021. Dumbest answer to a question too dumb to even ask. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/57 "2017-06-04T13:36:20Z")
> [@Modesty\_Blaise](#): > > Me: I’m an atheist. > Them: Aren’t you afraid of going to hell? > That happened on two separate occasions… I don’t see why this is an inherently stupid question. It’s simply asking whether you are afraid of the consequences (as perceived by a large proportion of the population both now and historically) of being wrong in your belief. Logically, it’s similar to: - I’m convinced the bomb threat was a hoax, I’m going to work. - Aren’t you afraid of being blown up? ---
**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/58 "2017-06-04T13:40:28Z")
Not sure that it really qualifies as “dumb”, but certainly the weirdest question was along these lines, Her: You’re an atheist? Me: Yes. Her: If you’re really an atheist, why aren’t you running around killing people? Me: What?!? I was really caught off guard, because it was such a peculiar logical extreme. Because I don’t believe in a deity, therefore, I have no internalized moral or ethical code, therefore, there is nothing preventing me from killing people, therefore, I should be running around killing people. I would’ve stopped at each of those steps. But, for her, the one flowed immediately to the other. I wondered what it would be like to live like that. (and, yes, this was decades before Sarah Palin) ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/59 "2017-06-04T14:12:27Z")
I work in a four story building. Once, while on the fourth floor, I called for the elevator by pushing the down button (on the top floor, there is no up button). Got in and just before the door closes, a young woman hops in. “Going down?” she asked. No, moron, I’m going up through the roof. Or maybe she was giving me an invitation and I was the dumb one. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/60 "2017-06-04T14:24:48Z")
> [@DrForrester](#): > > Not sure that it really qualifies as “dumb”, but certainly the weirdest question was along these lines, > > Her: You’re an atheist? > > Me: Yes. > > Her: If you’re really an atheist, why aren’t you running around killing people? > > Me: What?!? > > I was really caught off guard, because it was such a peculiar logical extreme. Because I don’t believe in a deity, therefore, I have no internalized moral or ethical code, therefore, there is nothing preventing me from killing people, therefore, I should be running around killing people. > > I would’ve stopped at each of those steps. But, for her, the one flowed immediately to the other. I wondered what it would be like to live like that. (and, yes, this was decades before Sarah Palin) Given this bizarre thought process, it’s a little frightening to imagine the consequences of such a person losing their faith. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=4)