# What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054 "2017-06-03T23:16:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/81 "2017-06-04T18:54:25Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > He said he called him up to ask this. That would seem to imply that he called the very number he was asking about. If he called from a phone that had the number on speed dial, he didn’t need to know the number to dial it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/82 "2017-06-04T19:02:46Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > If he called from a phone that had the number on speed dial, he didn’t need to know the number to dial it. Still seems pretty dumb if he called specifically to ask. If someone’s number is stored in your phone there’s a way to display it, even if it doesn’t display by default. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/83 "2017-06-04T19:13:08Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > You have (to my mind) a rather odd definition of what constitutes a “stupid” question. If somebody has a completely different worldview to me, and the consequences of that worldview are strange to me, I don’t think it’s “stupid” to enquire further. Personally, I would treat it as an opportunity to _explain_ why my beliefs don’t entail a fear of hell, rather than to condemn the question as stupid. I can sort of see both sides. I once had a guy, a minister, pepper me with questions about trans stuff (not that I’m an expert, I just care.) His argument was that if I believed in evolution, I should want trans people to die since they didn’t contribute to reproduction (???) When I told him that was way off base, he tried to figure out how I could have a sense of morality without a book to tell me what to believe. So after I explained that my principle guiding ethic was basically trying to alleviate the suffering of others, he asked, “Are you saying that if someone was being tortured for their beliefs, you would stand up for them _even if you didn’t agree with them?_” He had assumed that because I ‘‘believe’’ in evolution, I must be morally guided by allowing the weak to perish, or something. How do you live to be in your thirties, with children, style yourself as a spiritual leader, and have to ask questions like that? > [@Hampshire](#): > > My friend was driving while we were approaching the airport to drop off another friend so he could catch his flight. The road forked with the typical signage denoting “arrivals” or “departures”. My friend driving was in the lane for arrivals so I alerted him “whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re in the arrivals lane.” > He asked “Why would I want to go in the departures lane if we haven’t dropped him off yet?” I’ll admit to being confused by this. I can never remember if it’s me arriving or the plane arriving. I also get confused when the drive-thru person says ‘‘first’’ or ‘‘second’’ window. I have no excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Sandra\_Battye](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sandra_battye/32/552_2.png) [@Sandra\_Battye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandra_Battye)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/84 "2017-06-04T19:23:09Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > If I may be “that guy” for just a little bit, I think some of these weren’t dumb questions, but rather, were misunderstood or poorly communicated. Asking how big a 16-inch pizza is sounds like asking for a visual demonstration of its size (“It’s as big as _this_” - gesturing with both hands) or a practical analogy (“about as big as that steel skillet over there.”) It doesn’t sound like a math question - “four inches longer than a foot.” I would have taken it as “is the 16-inch equivalent to a medium or large”, especially if the question was asked over the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/85 "2017-06-04T20:39:03Z")
I have chickens and sometime sell their eggs to people. A middle aged woman asked me this. “Which end do the eggs come out of?” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/86 "2017-06-04T21:02:30Z")
When I tell people about my Unfortunate Lion Encounter, ninety percent of the time, their first question is, “Did it hurt?” No, why on earth would having my leg used as a chew toy _hurt_? I enjoy being mauled by large predators! I do it for fun every other weekend! :smack: Okay, I understand that “did it hurt?” is one of those meaningless responses that bubbles up automatically when you’re trying to find something to say, and that they _probably_ mean, “wow, that musta hurt.” But still. ---
**Author:** ![LicketySplit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@LicketySplit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LicketySplit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/87 "2017-06-04T21:08:16Z")
A few years ago I was working for Habitat for Humanity. I was the crew foreman on this particular day, and me and a few other volunteers were doing some landscape installation. We were planting some pansies, as I recall. They came in those small, black plastic 2" containers. A dude grabbed about a dozen of them and went off to plant them, and then returned to me a few minutes later and asked… “Do we take them out of the container before we plant them? Or do we just leave them in and let the roots break through. That works, right?” Since we were volunteers and the poor guy wasn’t getting paid, what can you do? I didn’t have the heart to laugh. So I just answered his question straight-faced and calmly. LOL This has been a long running inside joke between DW and me, whenever we are in the yard planting stuff. Which is often, since we’re both garden junkies. She’ll call over to me holding a plastic container with whatever, and say, “Honey, I take this out first, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/88 "2017-06-04T21:10:09Z")
In HS I once had a gig parking cars. The job was over and we were told a chain was taking over, so we wouldn’t be hired back the next summer. On my last night with about an hour left on the shift, a man drove up, handed me the keys to his Jag and asked, “Do Yous think yous can manage ta paaahk my caaaah so it doan get moved again?” A: “Ever…?” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/89 "2017-06-04T21:10:40Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > If he called from a phone that had the number on speed dial, he didn’t need to know the number to dial it. But even if it’s speed dial, the option to show the number is there. You don’t need to call the number to find out the number. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/90 "2017-06-04T21:24:36Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Not a stupid question. Since division by zero is undefined in mathematics, it’s reasonable for coding beginners to ask if zero has other special qualities as well. It may not be obvious to rank beginners that they just need to check the last binary digit. It _is_ stupid. Really, really stupid. It has _nothing_ to do with division by zero. Yes, zero has a lot of odd\* properties such as it being its own square. But one is it’s own square, too\*\*. Is it stupid to not know that one is odd? You betcha. And why would anyone ever think that divisibility by zero or being its own square has something to do with an unrelated property??? And these aren’t rank beginners. They are junior and senior CS majors! After one of these incidences, I asked **FtGKid1** if zero was odd or even. “Even”. “Why?” “Because one is odd.” This from a four year old! If something is freakin’ obvious to a four year old, upper division students in something like Computer Science have absolutely no excuse. It’s an appalling display of lack of basic knowledge. I told other faculty about this. They didn’t believe me. So they started putting something into questions requiring knowing this. Got the same response. Those faculty were shocked as well. Keep in mind is that students being ignorant about something so basic raises questions of the “tip of the iceberg” form. What else isn’t inside their brains that we assumed they remembered? - Sorry. \*\* Sorry, again. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/91 "2017-06-04T22:22:15Z")
The first one that popped to mind was “do people have sex in the Soviet Union?” (I had just spent the night at a friend’s house with my Soviet then-boyfriend, and he had to ask if he’d heard the questioner correctly. The scary part: she was a nursing student!) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/92 "2017-06-04T22:48:57Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You took mine, so I’ll relate an anecdote that I wwas involved in more than once: > > Back in my submarining days, on long voyages, I would sometimes sit down to write a letter to my wife. This sometimes drew interested attention, as writing a letter to her involved Braille, either with a Perkins Brailler, or with a slate and stylus. Someone would ask me what I was making, and I would answer “A letter to my wife, in Braille.” > > Then would come the stupid question: “So, do you talk to her in sign language?” :smack: I used to be a sign language interpreter, and I can’t tell you how many people, on learning that I know sign language, would ask “Do you also know Braille?” One of the dumbest questions I ever got asked was “Are you Jewish?” The reason it was dumb was that it was prefaced by the explanation that the person asking _might_ owe me an apology _if_ I were Jewish. She had been acting like an asshole to me all weekend at this conference, until someone else suggested to her that she might be reacting to my cultural Jewishness-- if I were in fact, Jewish-- and that was why our personalities were clashing. Apparently in her world, Jewish people act a certain way, and it makes them difficult to get along with, but because they are doing it out of Yiddisher kop, it’s permissible. For a gentile to behave the same way is just asshattry. :dubious: So, she asked me was I Jewish, intending to apologize to me if I was. I was so stunned, I didn’t answer. And she says, “So, you’re not?” I said “No.” I didn’t want her apology. For the record, it’s the most trouble I ever had getting along with another adult, with the exception of some people in the Army, who were technically adults, but really teenagers, or maybe 20. This woman was in her thirties. I don’t think it had anything to do with my being Jewish. I think she was just an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Ramira](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ramira/32/344_2.png) [@Ramira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ramira)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2017, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/93 "2017-06-04T23:48:22Z")
“Do you have electricity at home?” American woman on finding the family has the house in Africa… but knows that my spouse and I both work in the international financing insitutions. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/94 "2017-06-05T00:12:15Z")
> [@Modesty\_Blaise](#): > > Me: I’m an atheist. Really? Swear to God? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Terrific](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tom_terrific/32/342_2.png) [@Tom\_Terrific](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Terrific)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/95 "2017-06-05T00:39:37Z")
All the way back at the beginning, Betty’s last name is Boop. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/96 "2017-06-05T00:52:48Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > It _is_ stupid. Really, really stupid. > > It has _nothing_ to do with division by zero. Yes, zero has a lot of odd\* properties such as it being its own square. But one is it’s own square, too\*\*. Is it stupid to not know that one is odd? You betcha. > > And why would anyone ever think that divisibility by zero or being its own square has something to do with an unrelated property??? > > And these aren’t rank beginners. They are junior and senior CS majors!.. The way you wrote your first post looked very much like an additive list of _different_ categories of people, starting with “College Students” in general. Looking back, I now realize that you were describing _one_ set of people, and trying to represent an emphatic pause in describing their attributes. College students _who were_ Juniors and Seniors _who were moreover_ CS majors. So, ok, it makes a little more sense to call them dumb now. Still, perhaps if you hadn’t written your post in such a dumb way… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/97 "2017-06-05T03:46:55Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Very similar to my answer, which is “Where are the blue books?” > > To explain: when I was in college I worked in the college bookstore. “Blue books” were the small blue notebooks that students would have to buy for writing essays for English Composition classes. The bookstore had a big floor display filled with blue books, with a large sign saying “BLUE BOOKS” hanging directly over the display. Probably once a week, some student would come into the store, be standing _right under the sign, right next to the display_, and would ask “Where are the blue books?” I won’t comment on your example, but I will say this: I’ve been in the situation once or twice of asking “Where is X?” and having a shop assistant / bar man / librarian / whatever point at a sign. And when it happens, their demeanor implies they get asked that question a lot. They could consider whether the notice is in a place people will naturally look, and whether it looks like something telling you where something is (and not just a generic advert of the sort we have to tune out all the time) but of course it’s easier to just say people are stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/98 "2017-06-05T03:47:49Z")
> [@Mr\_Shine](#): > > Obviously I don’t know you, I don’t know the person you were speaking to and I don’t know Betty, but if s/he knows more than one Betty, even if after a moments thought s/he’d realise you only mutually know 1, an immediate response to ask for clarification hardly seems stupid, especially as presented in your first post. Oh, come on. If you say, “Betty who?” you are asking for Betty’s last name. Which is what I was trying to figure out. Like I said, the person who said it immediately realized it was a dumb question, and we laughed. There was only one Betty. We both knew exactly who I was asking about. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/99 "2017-06-05T05:03:18Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > It has _nothing_ to do with division by zero. Yes, zero has a lot of odd\* properties such as it being its own square. But one is it’s own square, too\*\*. Is it stupid to not know that one is odd? You betcha. > > And why would anyone ever think that divisibility by zero or being its own square has something to do with an unrelated property???. I didn’t say the parity of zero has anything to do with dividing by zero. I said that because zero has certain unique qualities (e.g. one can’t divide another number by it), your students might be forgiven for wondering if it has _other_ unique qualities (e.g. maybe it’s defined as odd, maybe it’s done as being neither odd nor even). ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2017, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054/100 "2017-06-05T07:58:11Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > When I tell people about my Unfortunate Lion Encounter, ninety percent of the time, their first question is, “Did it hurt?” > > No, why on earth would having my leg used as a chew toy _hurt_? I enjoy being mauled by large predators! I do it for fun every other weekend! :smack: > > Okay, I understand that “did it hurt?” is one of those meaningless responses that bubbles up automatically when you’re trying to find something to say, and that they _probably_ mean, “wow, that musta hurt.” But still. Makes one think of the “non-limerick”: There was a young man of Dundee Who was horribly stung by a wasp. When they asked, “Does it hurt?” He replied, “Not at all – It can do it again if it likes.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-question-youve-ever-been-asked/788054.md?page=6)