# What's the dumbest thing you've heard?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 28, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098 "2003-02-28T11:21:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/41 "2003-03-01T11:27:25Z")
My ex-girlfriend and her new found friend, once we moved to Montana, were remarking how they had both lost weight.
“Of course,” said my girlfriends friend “It’s because at the higher elevation, gravity pulls on us less.”
While she was _technically_ right, she insisted that the change in elevation made the 10 lb difference.
It was later topped by my ex, that same day, explaining how Montana seemed hot, in August. See, Montana’s supposed to be cold, but “That elevation change again. We’re closer to the sun here than we were in Cali.”
Stupid as a box of hammers but she was a wildcat in bed.
I’ve gotten better since then.
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### Author:  [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/42 "2003-03-01T18:24:03Z")
On the news last night, a Georgia legislator said he didn’t think they needed an exemption for rape in a new abortion restriction law. He said very few women get pregnant during rape since their “bodies are not ready.”
He is also a physician.
We need a 24 hour waiting period and information requirements about women’s bodies before legislators can vote on abortion bills.
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### Author:  [@soup\_diggity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soup_diggity)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/43 "2003-03-01T18:51:17Z")
The dumbest thing I have ever heard was in my 10th grade health class. My teacher said something along the lines of, “Walking on Mars would be man’s greatest acomplishment since we walked on the moon.”
A girl from the back piped up, “We walked on the moon? I thought that was just a saying.”
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### Author:  [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/44 "2003-03-01T21:35:59Z")
Someone I know discussing a recent driving trip with her boyfriend: “According to the mileage thing it was about 35 miles there and back. But it’s probably not really that far, Dave was driving quite slowly”.
One of my mother’s friends: “I heard that mice don’t have any bones. That’s why they can get in an out of anywhere”.
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### Author:  [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/45 "2003-03-01T22:04:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LifeOnWry \*
> \*\*A (Caucasian) family friend heard that one out of three children born in the US is Asian. Guess what she asked her doctor when her third child was born?
>
> “Is she Chinese?”\*\*
Life imitates art!
I’m not kidding, there was once an episode of _Little Rascals_ (or was it _Spanky and Our Gang_?) based on exactly that joke. Spanky’s mom was going to have her third child and Spanky had heard the factoid from somewhere that every third child born in the world was Chinese. He was trying to figure out what it would be like to have a Chinese baby in the family.
And all this time I thought it had been just a joke. Never imagined anyone could seriously think that. Or have I been whooshed?
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### Author:  [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/46 "2003-03-01T22:51:42Z")
No, you haven’t been whooshed. I’ve never heard of that ep of Little Rascals, and I have to doubt the lady in question did either, as she was quite embarrased that her kids kept retelling that story. I think if she had “oh, that was just an old joke from a TV show” at her disposal, she would have used it.
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### Author:  [@bludaycious\_babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bludaycious_babe)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/47 "2003-03-02T01:13:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \*
> \*\*If you are willing to repeat this inside an airport, out loud, I can promise that you will receive a free gift. A very educational tour of what happens “behind the scenes” of an airport security office. And I say “educational”, because I just _know_ that you’ll learn something from the experience. 🙂
>
> Never, ever, **ever** say things like this in an airport. I worked airport security in the 80’s, & even back then, you’d get hauled away by John Law if you “made a joke” about having a bomb.
>
> I hope, for your health & sanity’s sake, that you **aren’t** freebasing. If you are, please say so, & you will be astonished by the number of offers of assistance you receive from your fellow SDMB posters. \*\*
I’d never say something of that nature in an airport. That’s just my smart ass personality, I hate stupid questions. And **NO** i don’t freebase. But if you think about it… it is a pretty stupid name for the act due to the hundreds of dollars dumbasses spend on drugs.
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### Author:  [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/48 "2003-03-02T04:34:25Z")
From someone I’m related to (unfortunately)
“Venus isn’t a planet, it’s a star!”
“No, it’s a planet, really”
“No, it’s a star, the North Star, are you stupid?”
From Global History last year
“The printing press was a useless invention”
“Physics is a useless science, no one understands it and it doesn’t do anything”
“So Copurnicus discovered the sun?”
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### Author:  [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/49 "2003-03-02T05:03:00Z")
Inspired by something I read, I asked a large number of my relatives the following question one Christmas:
“If an astronaut is standing on the moon holding a rock, and he lets go of the rock, does it float in place, fall to the ground, or float upwards?”
The most common answer was that it would float away.
“Why?”
“There’s no gravity on the moon.”
My followup question of “If there’s no gravity, why didn’t the astronauts float away?” garnered the following response:
“They were wearing really heavy boots.”
I’ve done the same thing since with other groups, and it’s not just my family. Try it, it’ll make you despair for the future of the human species.
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### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/50 "2003-03-02T05:36:31Z")
**Tristan** : ’ “Of course,” said my girlfriends friend “It’s because at the higher elevation, gravity pulls on us less.”
While she was technically right, she insisted that the change in elevation made the 10 lb difference. ’
But was she right? Wouldn’t a higher elevation imply more mass underneath her which means a slightly elevated gravitational pull than from someone who was, say, standing at sea level?
I think this is the first time that a thread of mine has been copycatted - [What is the dumbest thing you’ve heard anybody say?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=111513). That thread has been locked, though, so it is time for a new one. I’m just going to quote my OP:
> [@](#):
>
> My wife and I were watching some show on TV that had to do with tornados (I don’t recall if it was a newscast or a Discovery Channel documentary). Anyway, they were interviewing one man after his house got destroyed and, sounding as if he’d been betrayed somehow, managed to say the following:
>
> “This thing didn’t sound like no freight train I ever heard. Not once did I hear a…” he then makes a pulling motion with his right arm “choo-choo.”
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### Author:  [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/51 "2003-03-02T11:40:04Z")
When our house was being built, my SO and I would come down every couple of days to see how it was progressing (we only lived a few minutes away).
While the brickies where there, contructing the walls, my SO asked me whether it wouldn’t be easier for them ‘to start at the top rather than the bottom’.
I haven’t let her live that one down, and no she’s not a complete moron (most of the time).
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### Author:  [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/52 "2003-03-02T14:44:36Z")
Seriously, is the word “brickies”? Not bricklayers? At least in Oz?
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/53 "2003-03-02T17:32:54Z")
Overheard in a supermarket.
“I don’t know why they make shampoo and conditioner bottles the same size. You never use the same amount. They should make larger bottle for the conditioner!”
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### Author:  [@Mearl\_Dox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mearl_Dox)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/54 "2003-03-02T20:23:40Z")
In 9th grade, I nearly got in a fight with a girl who claimed white people and black people shouldn’t marry or have children because “Bluebirds and blackbirds don’t have babies together!” :smack:
The dumbest thing I did recently was ask someone if the person I was e-mailing in Japanese could read my Japanese using English characters. If you know how Japanese keyboards work… she sure better know the English characters, or she won’t be able to respond! ^\_^; It’d be forgivable if I hadn’t gone to Japan and used the keyboards there…
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### Author:  [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/55 "2003-03-02T21:48:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Inky- \*
> \*\*
> She was positive that astronauts had landed on the sun “way back in the 70’s”.
>
> \*\*
They went at night.🆒
My friend conserved her turn signals. Someone had told her that they(the blinks) needed to be refilled every few years. She believed them.
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### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/56 "2003-03-02T21:54:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zyada \*
> \*\*Overheard in a supermarket.
>
> “I don’t know why they make shampoo and conditioner bottles the same size. You never use the same amount. They should make larger bottle for the conditioner!” \*\*
Color me stupid, but why is that stupid? Note that I don’t use conditioner as a stand-alone product, rather having always used a bottle of shampoo-conditioner.
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### Author:  [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/57 "2003-03-02T22:02:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Roadwalker \*
> \*\*My friend conserved her turn signals. Someone had told her that they(the blinks) needed to be refilled every few years. She believed them. \*\*
Heheh, when I was 18 or so, my friend and I convinced my rather gullible boyfriend that he’d need to buy blinker fluid for his new (used) car, since the blinkers weren’t working. Also, we were teaching him to ride horses, and said we had to visit the salon every month or so to get the callouses filed off our butts, and he should start thinking about making an appointment. He of course bought all of this.
Hmm, I wonder why we broke up…:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2003, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/58 "2003-03-04T10:27:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bludaycious babe \*
> \*\*I’d never say something of that nature in an airport. That’s just my smart ass personality, I hate stupid questions. And **NO** i don’t freebase. But if you think about it… it is a pretty stupid name for the act due to the hundreds of dollars dumbasses spend on drugs. \*\*
Yeah, but “free”, in this instance, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t cost money. It’s a method of purifying cocaine and “freeing up” the base so as to make the hit more potent. I found a webpage that describes the method; I’d post a link, but I don’t want to get crossways with the mods.
_rang-dang-dingety-dang-i-dang…_
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### Author:  [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/59 "2003-03-04T12:14:02Z")
We were lost and pulled into a petrol station for directions.
“Can you tell us how to get to the motorway going North please?”
“Which North do you want”
Mind you it would have been less embarrassing if my friends child hadn’t commented loudly about how that lady must be really dumb because there is only one North.
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### Author:  [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/60 "2003-03-04T12:21:07Z")
Humingbirds don’t have feet because they don’t need them to land.
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