# What's the dumbest thing you've heard?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 28, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098 "2003-02-28T11:21:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/101 "2003-03-08T00:37:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Yumblie \*
> \*\*In my earth science class, we were talking about the evolution of humans in relation to climate. The professor was saying how when the global climate went into cooling, there tended to be more aggression and war, since there was a decrease in fertile land and crops. There was a warming trend during the middle ages, then a cooling trend, and we’re currently in a warming trend.
>
> One girl asks that if we’re in a warming trend, how come Bush is going to war…
>
> Oi.
>
> Another guy asked how the Crusades could have happened in the middle ages despite the fact that it was a warm climate time.
>
> I mean…oi! \*\*
😕 Who was being dumb—the professor or the students?
---
### Author:  [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/102 "2003-03-08T02:19:12Z")
The students. They were taking the whole “cold climate = war” idea and oversimplifying it. I doubt we’re going to war with Iraq because our crops are failing and we want to steal their wheat. The Crusades were about religeon, it had nothing to do with climate. The climate trends were referring to primitive humans.
---
### Author:  [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/103 "2003-03-08T02:24:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zyada \*
> \*\*Wow - I didn’t think my little incident would stir up so much talk!
>
> How about something a little more obvious:
>
> “I thought if you didn’t push your cuticles back, they would grow over your nails”
>
> My ex is a really good source of stupid statements. \*\*
::shame:: I was actually taught this, so forgive my idiocy, but…does this mean it’s not good to push your cuticles back?
---
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/104 "2003-03-08T02:46:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Yumblie \*
> \*\*The students. They were taking the whole “cold climate = war” idea and oversimplifying it. I doubt we’re going to war with Iraq because our crops are failing and we want to steal their wheat. The Crusades were about religeon, it had nothing to do with climate. The climate trends were referring to primitive humans. \*\*
Well, did he make it clear that he only meant primitives? And you quoted him as saying that there was a warming trend during the Middle Ages. Should the student not have called him on the fact that the Crusades were in the Middle Ages?
To be fair, I was there and you weren’t. But your first post made it sound as if the professor was the one doing the oversimplifying.
---
### Author:  [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/105 "2003-03-08T03:02:15Z")
Overheard a customer say this one time.
> [@](#):
>
> These buffalo wings taste like chicken
Do you think?😛
---
### Author:  [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/106 "2003-03-08T04:16:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \*
> \*\*Well, did he make it clear that he only meant primitives? And you quoted him as saying that there was a warming trend during the Middle Ages. Should the student not have called him on the fact that the Crusades were in the Middle Ages?
>
> To be fair, I was there and you weren’t. But your first post made it sound as if the professor was the one doing the oversimplifying. \*\*
Sorry, I simplified the description of the lesson. We were talking about the evolution of man as a species, not as a civilization. The professor was making the point that cold climate would usually cause human tribes to attack other human tribes for their food, not that wars only happen in cold climate. But that aside, it seems that connecting the war on Iraq and more modern wars to climate would be a bit ridiculous.
---
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/107 "2003-03-08T05:03:14Z")
Ohhhhhh. Okay then. Yes, that would be dumb.
---
### Author:  [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/108 "2003-03-08T17:08:27Z")
Overheard in a diner:
“I wish those Native Americans would go back where they came from!”
(Yes, a diner in AMERICA.)
---
### Author:  [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/109 "2003-03-08T20:19:49Z")
My dad was saying how pathetic it was that so many high school kids can’t point out the Pacific ocean on a map. He asked my 13-year-old sister (who has the brain of a rock) if she could identify the Pacific ocean on a map. She rolled her eyes and said, “Duh, of course! It’s the one that says ‘Pacific’ on it!”
_sigh_ I can’t believe I’m related to her…
---
### Author:  [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/110 "2003-03-08T20:21:47Z")
anything that comes out of the mouth of someone working for
A) any government instituiton
B) any social services institution
example:
Me: " I had to quit my job due to stress and now I am applying for disability. The money I earned while working for this short time was spent on rent, bills, food etc. As of today I have no income forthcoming and no money presently at my disposal. Enclosed are my final pay stubs"
Disability, two months later: "According to your pay stubs you have $800 dollars in your possession as of today. Please use this money first then reapply.
Me: "That money has been spent, in fact it was spent last month to pay for personal needs, ie: food, rent etc.
Disability: "No it hasn’t. you have $800 dollars in your posession.
At this point I was on the verge of tears.
And to think, I have more education and life experience than every single person I have ever met in a social services agency. And they make $30,000 a year. Amazing.
---
### Author:  [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/111 "2003-03-08T20:27:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bogus \*
> \*\*
>
> Our local phone company recently went to an automated system that shuts your phone off if you don’t pay. It had bugs. My brother’s phone got cut off randomly (as did many others I know!). He drives to the phone company and tells the lady "my phone has been cut off. " she tells him…“oh you didn’t have to come down her. You could have just called”. He looks at her and again says…“my phone is cut off…I could not call”. He said she gave him a blank stare. He doesn’t think she got it! \*\*
In my city, they make you go down to the main office, reapply, then ask that you phone back to get reconnected. ???
---
### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/112 "2003-03-08T21:28:05Z")
I guess this is a good place to post again about the co-worker who insists that the two children that my lesbian sister’s partner had and she adopted are not “really your nieces,” but the boy my brother and his wife adopted is “really your nephew.”
---
### Author:  [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/113 "2003-03-09T06:39:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bogus \*
> He drives to the phone company and tells the lady "my phone has been cut off. " she tells him…“oh you didn’t have to come down her. You could have just called”. He looks at her and again says…“my phone is cut off…I could not call”. He said she gave him a blank stare. He doesn’t think she got it!
Maybe she was thinking of:[ul][_]public pay phone[_]work phonefriend’s phone[/ul]
---
### Author:  [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/114 "2003-03-09T06:49:45Z")
When a kid said, “I saw him make a mental note of it…”
---
### Author:  [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/115 "2003-03-09T07:20:17Z")
Overheard at a seafood restaurant in Oregon, of all places: “So, if salmon’s endangered, how come we can order it in a restaurant?”
said to me:
“You’re moving to New Mexico? Do you have a passport already?”
---
### Author:  [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/116 "2003-03-09T07:57:54Z")
My daughter’s high school U.S. History class is discussing John F. Kennedy - _Junior_.
---
### Author:  [@MC\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MC_E)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/117 "2003-03-09T13:49:45Z")
This was from the VH1 Lynyrd Skynyrd documentary, “Civil War”, I believe.
They were interviewing a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan in the parking lot outside of one of their shows. The exchange went something like this:
FAN: I think Artimus and his brother Billy are some of the best musicians ever. I’ve been fans of theirs for 20 years.
REPORTER: Um, Artimus’ last name is Pyle and Billy’s is Powell, they’re not brothers.
FAN: Well, they’ll always be brothers to me, man.
I guess you can’t expect too much more at a Lynyrd Skynyrd show.
MC$E
---
### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/118 "2003-03-09T13:52:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by sleeping \*
> \*\*When a kid said, “I saw him make a mental note of it…” \*\*
This is entirely possible… what was he trying to say?
---
### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/119 "2003-03-09T22:26:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BuckleberryFerry \*
> \*\*::shame:: I was actually taught this, so forgive my idiocy, but…does this mean it’s not good to push your cuticles back? \*\*
It won’t hurt at all, in fact if you get a manicure, the manicurist will do it.
But I never push my cuticles back and they are, oh, less than 1/2 a millimeter long. And they look nice and neat. I’ve never even seen the point except for nailpolish that you want to last more than a couple of days.
---
### Author:  [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098/120 "2003-03-10T01:16:50Z")
“It’s a HEMI, see, the spark plug is in the middle”
-in reference to a dodge neon engine
“That’s because it is a reflective black paint”
-in reference to flat black paint
“It’s Memory Steel”
-in reference to a clip
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098.md?page=5)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-heard/158098.md?page=7)