# What's the dumbest thing you've seen on a product? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907 "2003-01-21T00:55:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/21 "2003-01-21T14:30:31Z")
A picture of Pauly Shore. What? ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/22 "2003-01-21T14:39:03Z")
Warning: Do not place hand or foot underneath lawnmower while blade is in motion. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/23 "2003-01-21T15:37:40Z")
On an Iron: do not iron clothes while on body. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/24 "2003-01-21T17:07:49Z")
[This](http://www.fathom.org/inky/images/sponge.jpg) came in a packet of sponges, and just sort of cracked me up. Looks a bit like Interprietive Dance. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/25 "2003-01-21T17:18:23Z")
"On an Iron: do not iron clothes while on body." 'Kay, I DO this! I will press a long skirt while I’m wearing it. Just kind of hike it up onto the ironing board. (I know…they mean not against your skin, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/26 "2003-01-21T17:55:15Z")
At the supermarket yesterday, my roommate and I found a package of “Matzo Ball Soup Mix”. Under the product’s name, in small print, it said, “For Goodness.” We spent the rest of our time there looking to see if they made matzo ball soup mix “for evil.” ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/27 "2003-01-21T17:58:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aenea \* > \*\*“A quiescently frozen desert” > What did you do, sneak up on it while it was sleeping and freeze it? > > 😉 \*\* I remember mulling over that one for ages. Wasn’t that on a fudgicle or something? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/28 "2003-01-21T18:00:00Z")
BAAAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious Inky! ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/29 "2003-01-21T18:13:58Z")
Mine isn’t really a warning or anything, more just a comical placement of products in my grocer’s freezer. If you look at the freezer, you may see the generic brand of fish sticks. Right on the box, in huge letters, it says “MADE WITH MINCED PIECES!!” Then, right next to it, you’ll find the name brand fish sticks. Right on the box, in huge letters, it says “NO MINCED PIECES!” Good thing I’m not a fan of fish sticks or I wouldn’t know what the hell to do. ---
**Author:** ![Brave\_Sir\_Robin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Brave\_Sir\_Robin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brave_Sir_Robin)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/30 "2003-01-21T18:38:54Z")
The following was on a box of ramen noodles I bought: 1. PLEASE AVOID SUNLIGHT, MOISTURE, **CEREALS, AND DRIED FISHES.** _emphasis mine_ 2. PLEASE STORE AT CLEAN, DRY, AND COOL PLACE. For the life of my, I cannot fathom why I am supposed to avoid cereals and dried fishes. ---
**Author:** ![SC\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SC\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SC_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/31 "2003-01-21T18:57:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by meyer \* > \*\*A few years ago, I bought a Dremel tool. It’s a fine product - a little rotary tool with interchangable bits for drilling, sanding, buffing, cutting, etc. Imprinted on the inside of its case is: > > " This is not a dental tool " > > Ewwwwwwwwww. \*\* Someone should have told my orthodontist that. You think the drill’s bad. Try sitting there with your mouth pried open with plastic lip holders while the orthodontist slowly dremels your teeth into a more asthetically pleasing shape. ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/32 "2003-01-21T19:12:29Z")
> [@](#): > > “True or false: Dinosaurs are only found in the US.” Actually, this is the kind of question that would stump me on the SAT. 1. it doesn’t say “dinosaur fossils” it says “dinosaurs” 2. I don’t know if crocodiles would be considered legitimate contenders for the species 3. there aren’t too many tyannosaurs or velociraptors in the woods these days ---
**Author:** ![flapcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@flapcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flapcats)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/33 "2003-01-21T19:43:02Z")
I have a macro photo from Walker’s MAX crisps. It has a pitcure of a crisp on the front with the word MAX written over it. In about 8 point on the bottom left of the front is ‘Not Actual Size’ !!! “I’d like One Large Crisp please… Thank you.” “What? This is full of smaller, similar shaped specimens that look nothing like the One Large Crisp detailed on the front! I want my money back!” ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/34 "2003-01-21T19:49:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Rectal suppositories: “Not for use in the eye” That’s so no one confuses them with _retinal_ suppositories. ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/35 "2003-01-21T19:52:30Z")
As seen on the back of a bottle of menstrual relief medication: “Prolonged use may cause prostate complications” ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/36 "2003-01-21T19:55:48Z")
**As seen on the back of a bottle of menstrual relief medication:** “Prolonged use may cause prostate complications” **In the instructions for a curling iron (or any other small vanity appliance):** “Do not use while sleeping” ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/37 "2003-01-22T00:34:28Z")
“Warning! Keep Out of Eyes! Wash Out With Water! Don’t Drink Soap! Dilute! Dilute! or Wet Skin Well! OK! [ALL-ONE!](http://www.drbronner.com/labels/lav.pdf)” ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/38 "2003-01-22T01:03:13Z")
Ah, yes! Good ol’ Doc Bronner. A short excerpt from my bar of All-One Hemp Peppermint Pure-Castile Soap: > [@](#): > > "Today, inspire-rally-raise-train-evolve-unite one! All-One! Or we’re none! All none! \* "We do not reapeth what we soweth, **thank God we don’t!** God bless the nutter. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/39 "2003-01-22T01:14:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Inky- \* > **[This](http://www.fathom.org/inky/images/sponge.jpg) came in a packet of sponges** Weird. In one of the pictures, his crotch resembles that of a freshly waxed Jenna Jameson, and in another he’s hung like Aquaman. When will the government’s product-label enforcers get around to the pressing topic of consistently rendered genitalia? ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/40 "2003-01-22T01:14:30Z")
On a carton of calcium-enriched orange juice: “Contains no milk.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907.md?page=3)