# What's the dumbest thing you've seen on a product? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907 "2003-01-21T00:55:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/41 "2003-01-22T01:17:51Z")
Cervaise: the images are of a woman and a man. You can see her cleavage and weird hair-thing as well. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/42 "2003-01-22T02:23:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j\_kat\_251 \* > \*\*I refuse to believe this. > > “Warning: may contain traces of peanuts” on a SNICKERS bar is all I’ve got. You know, just in case you missed the whole point of a Snickers bar. \*\* Well, of course, some people have very severe allergies to peanuts, so companies are required by law to include that warning. It may still be stupid, but blame the government, not the company. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/43 "2003-01-22T02:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Warning: Do not place hand or foot underneath lawnmower while blade is in motion. My brother did this once (hand). Lots of blood and screaming, but he didn’t lose anything. > [@](#): > > If you look at the freezer, you may see the generic brand of fish sticks. Right on the box, in huge letters, it says “MADE WITH MINCED PIECES!!” > > Then, right next to it, you’ll find the name brand fish sticks. Right on the box, in huge letters, it says “NO MINCED PIECES!” Kind of like the tuna: GUARANTEED NOT TO TURN PINK IN THE CAN. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/44 "2003-01-22T03:01:11Z")
In the instructions for a fencing mask (tripplette arms) It gave valid directions to adjust the mask to fit. the last one read. “Do not wear naked in public” I kid you not. Of course, Walter and the gang are known for their unique sense of humor. One mask had the claim “Now see magically thru AIR!” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/45 "2003-01-22T03:05:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\*“Warning! Keep Out of Eyes! Wash Out With Water! Don’t Drink Soap! Dilute! Dilute! or Wet Skin Well! OK! [ALL-ONE!](http://www.drbronner.com/labels/lav.pdf)” \*\* Yeah, I was reading this and waiting for someone to mention Dr. Bronner. Great soap. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/46 "2003-01-22T03:15:43Z")
I’m guessing this is coming off the McDonald’s lawsuits… On a thick plastic package of Real Crumbled Ham: “WARNING: DO NOT EAT PACKET” ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/47 "2003-01-22T03:33:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brave Sir Robin \* > \*\*1. PLEASE AVOID SUNLIGHT, MOISTURE, **CEREALS, AND DRIED FISHES.** _emphasis mine_ > \*\* This is more like a completely fucked up fortune cookie fortune! ---
**Author:** ![Opus1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opus1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus1)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/48 "2003-01-22T05:52:51Z")
Not a package, but I love the ad for the Ding King (a device which helps un-dent your car). The ad proudly claims that it works on all makes and models of car, and then displays a long, scrolling list of car brands alphabetically from Audi to Yugo. I mean, what the hell type of feature is this? Works on all types of cars? This is about as dumb as a peanut butter ad that brags about working on “all brands of bread,” or paper that’s compatible with “every major pen brand.” To top it off, a similar product mentions that it works on SUV’s, minivans, sedans, trucks, etc. ---
**Author:** ![BURNER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@BURNER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BURNER)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/49 "2003-01-22T06:43:55Z")
On individualy wrapped piecs of american cheese : **open here** , as if I couldnt figure that one out on my own. ---
**Author:** ![racekarl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6bbea6/32.png) [@racekarl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racekarl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/50 "2003-01-22T15:48:11Z")
Some of the best ones I’ve encountered: I bought a replacement hard drive for my laptop, the carboard box it came in was sealed with tape and contained this warning: “Do not break seal before using.” My wife bought a package of those long fireplace matches that had a sticker annoucing “Matches are extremely flammable!” Finally, I bought some windshield cleaner that said “Danger: cannot be made non-poisonous!” ---
**Author:** ![WhiteyFoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@WhiteyFoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhiteyFoo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/51 "2003-01-22T16:55:06Z")
I bought a framing hammer a year or so ago. It had a nice little booklet tied to the handle. The front of which read “Framing Hammer”. The inside of the booklet expounded on the craftsmanship on this fine hammer. Also included were the usual warnings about wearing eye protection and not using the hammer for neurosurgery, etc. Buried in the fine print was the phrase “Do not use this device as a hammer”. I was rendered speechless. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/52 "2003-01-22T18:44:30Z")
I still like my hammer that has “Patent Pending” in big silver letters down the side. ---
**Author:** ![Smashed\_Ice\_Cream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Smashed\_Ice\_Cream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smashed_Ice_Cream)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/53 "2003-01-22T20:07:09Z")
On a box ox of tampons: “Remove the last tampon you use at the end of your menstrual cycle.” ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/54 "2003-01-22T20:27:10Z")
Raisins: Try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal. Brits will appreciate that one. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/55 "2003-01-22T20:31:16Z")
“STOP! Do not place this container on a passenger jet aircraft! Biological agents within!” Ya know, by the time it gets to the plane it’s already been in the back of a truck with 50,000,000 LB of random crap tossed on top of it and it’s been driven all over town. Somehow I don’t think putting in the unpressurized cargo hold will cause that many more problems. “Caution: Contents packaged in \_\_\_ kg of dry ice! Store immediately at 4-8 C” Ok, so you shipped it at what, -60C? -80C? Yet it has to be stored at 4C… “Caution, toxic for research purposes only” Inside was a 36$ 1 liter bottle of reagent grade purified water. ---
**Author:** ![flapcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@flapcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flapcats)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/56 "2003-01-22T23:56:11Z")
KarmaComa: Lol. It goes better with Scottish Porridge. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/57 "2003-01-23T00:29:22Z")
Ok, I once purchased a box of shells & cheese, the kind with the little packet of cheese sauce. On the back it had little ‘cute quips’ about what you could do with the product. This is one of them: Cover the ones you love with cheese. Example: Spread cheese sauce on cooked macaroni shells. The first part just shook me… what, exactly, are they suggesting I do, if using it on the included shells is only an EXAMPLE? ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/58 "2003-01-23T01:52:44Z")
Good ol’ Dr. Bronner. Nothing else comes close. Except maybe this: On a package of yeast infection stuff: Do not take orally. Ewww. ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/59 "2003-01-23T02:56:26Z")
A number of years ago I bought a gift certificate from a Virgin Megastore that was clearly labelled “Not transferrable - void if transferred”. So, if I can’t give it away, what exactly is the point of it? ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907/60 "2003-01-23T03:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by aahala_ > Warning: Do not place hand or foot underneath lawnmower while blade is in motion. Believe it or not, people really are this stupid. My dad is the head of an Emergency Department, and he brought home a story about a guy who thought something was stuck in his lawnmower and reached his hand into it (without turning it off) to get it out. He got a few fingers chopped off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-dumbest-thing-youve-seen-on-a-product/149907.md?page=4)