Why do you think the penalties for women who commit adultery are historically so high? You don’t need draconian measures to prevent something that nobody wants to do. Why keep your wife under lock and key if all she she really wants to do is focus on her kids? Why the threat of stonings and scarlet letters if a women have no real motivation to have sex with other men?
The historical record- from the bible to royal records- is full of illegitimate kids, affairs, and sexual intrigue that sometimes involve married women. All of this despite the fact that few men are going to admit to being cuckholded (why do we even have that word if it’s a rare event?)
I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Pre-industrialized African villages? I had quite a few girl friends that were getting some on the side. One had a lover in her home village she’d see whenever she went back to visit her parents. Another’s husband was away on business, and she brought quite a few men into her home and caused a bit of scandal because it got to the point where the neighbors couldn’t ignore it. This is in a very proper Muslim village, by the way, where most women gave birth to around ten children. Divorce wasn’t as automatic as you would think it is- men didn’t really want to make that stuff public, and often they were getting just as much on the side or had other wives, so they were just happy their wife was leaving them alone. Anyway, after market day, you don’t want to head out into the bushes or you will stumble upon lovers. And since people got married between 12-15, any female partner you find is likely already married.
The kids in my village had an uncanny way of looking exactly like their siblings- you could see any kid and point out what family they were from. One day I asked about it, and the person I asked laughed and said “Well, sometimes one doesn’t. Then the husband is usually mad.”
Let’s go around the world to modern China, which can be very prudish. Adultery is pretty common among men. What surprised me was to learn that women also do it- young housewives will say they are going to “play mah-jongg” as an excuse to meet their lovers while their husbands are working long hours. You can even get male prostitutes for women- they are handsome young men who specialize in well-off older ladies.
In the good old US of A, they found 22% of men cheated on their marriage, versus 15% of women. Not that huge of a difference, is it?
Women have orgasms. They have clits. They have sex drives. Historically, they are often married to men older than them who lose their ability to perform sexually or turn their interests elsewhere. Do you really think most women are perfectly happy with that? It’s a cheating world out there.