# What's the female equivalent of "he's got a small dick"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141 "2009-02-16T19:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/21 "2009-02-16T21:55:25Z")
She’s a buttaface, as in everything’s nice but her face. Let’s see…here’s also snaggletooth, man hands, horse face, village bicycle and moped (as in, fun to ride but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one). The best though comes from my friends back in the UK: To them there’s nothing more insulting then to tell a woman she looks ‘battered’. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/22 "2009-02-16T22:48:55Z")
She has herpes. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/23 "2009-02-16T22:51:50Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > I think it might be calling her frigid. I’ll third this one. Guy with a small dick = unsatisfying Frigid chick = every bit as satisfying as masturbating with a body instead of a hand ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/24 "2009-02-16T23:03:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Her vagina is like a clown car. for the love of Og, can we have one thread where someone doesn’t mention Octo-mom? what? oh… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/25 "2009-02-16T23:23:00Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > I’d say the equivalent would be suggesting that the woman in question is 1) frigid and/or a lesbian (which of course are clearly-related concepts :rolleyes:), or 2) wanting power/control over men (“ballbuster”, “bitch”), since those are pretty much the most “defeminizing” things you can accuse a woman of in the current society. I agree. These are the parallel “defeminization” insults. ---
**Author:** ![mauxlicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@mauxlicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mauxlicious)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/26 "2009-02-17T00:07:24Z")
Just tell her those pants really _do_ make her look fat. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/27 "2009-02-17T00:13:24Z")
fucking her was like fucking a glass of water, or to quote Elvis Costello “her lovers felt like skittles in a ten pin bowling lane” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/28 "2009-02-17T02:00:10Z")
‘She has a big vagina’ is the most literal equivalent I can think of. However, any time a male friend has complained about this (especially in child-free, 20-something exes), he’s raised a lot of:dubious:s. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/29 "2009-02-17T02:08:03Z")
> [@mauxlicious](#): > > Just tell her those pants really _do_ make her look fat. Ha! Bingo!! ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/30 "2009-02-17T03:18:16Z")
I really don’t think so. ‘He has a small dick’ is not about his member, it’s about what men find deeply personally insulting. Although a woman having a large vagina is the direct translation its not what really hurts women, for them it’s about looks and promiscuity. The last part is enforced by women themselves. As a man far more intelligent than I said, ‘what men and women have in common is both don’t trust women.’ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/31 "2009-02-17T03:24:01Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Although a woman having a large vagina is the direct translation its not what really hurts women, for them it’s about looks and promiscuity. Uh, it does imply promiscuity. (Though I have heard guys get catty over women’s genitals in general, ‘beef curtains’ and all that crap.) But you’re right that the small dick insult, when used publicly (rather than between women in a genuine discussion about sex) is more to get them where it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/32 "2009-02-17T04:01:04Z")
She’s a beyatch. She’s flat-chested. She’s got no junk in the trunk. She’s loose. She’s drafty. She’s skanky. She’s a dirty-ass hoe-bag. She’s a jizz-rag. I’m here all week. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/33 "2009-02-17T04:16:42Z")
‘Jane, you’re an ignorant slut.’ ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/34 "2009-02-17T04:20:12Z")
“She kinda has a moustache.” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/35 "2009-02-17T05:39:31Z")
The word you are looking for is “cunt”. Saying a man has a small penis is an attempt to imasculate him and remove his sexual worthiness. In the traditional man pursues woman sexual dynamic, the corresponding insult to a woman is to remove her value or worthiness as anything other than a sex object. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/36 "2009-02-17T06:11:14Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > The word you are looking for is “cunt”. > > Saying a man has a small penis is an attempt to imasculate him and remove his sexual worthiness. In the traditional man pursues woman sexual dynamic, the corresponding insult to a woman is to remove her value or worthiness as anything other than a sex object. I think you might be onto something here. ---
**Author:** ![Jaglavak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jaglavak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaglavak)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/37 "2009-02-17T06:56:46Z")
Bunny boiler. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/38 "2009-02-17T09:24:42Z")
Another vote for frigid. Frigid implies not just a lack of sexual desire but an entire demeanor that is cold, unwelcoming, disinterested etc. To be a women is stereotypically about being soft, caring, sensual, warm, responsive, etc. “Frigid” in a single word, tells you she is none of these things and is therefore, not a woman. “Cunt” doesn’t work for me because in this part of the world it is not gender specific in the way it seems to be in the US. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/39 "2009-02-17T12:39:59Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > So, is there a female equivalent of “he’s got a small dick”? In the past insulting a woman’s fertility was a major insult, calling one barren would be a equivalent from the past IMHO, perhaps today would be not able to get a husband would be close IMHO. Also frigid has a similar connotation. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141/40 "2009-02-17T13:35:54Z")
Yet another vote for “frigid”. “Cunt” is more like “prick”, which is of course, not remotely like “needle-dick”. The way I think about it, “needle-dick” is an insult reserved for guys who make a point of asserting their “manliness”. It’s “big-swinging-dick” gone wrong. The guy who drives the Hummer. The guy who responds to a joke with a swing. The guy who’s an ass because he thinks it’s preferable to ever appearing “weak”. The corresponding (again, in my mind) female archetype is the mini-van driving soccer mom who gasps and clutches her pearls when someone swears, lest she be thought “unladylike”. Is she a gaping cunt? Hell no, she’s frigid. Both of them focus on the \*trappings \*of their gender roles, to the point that one is forced to suspect them rather inept at the fundamentals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-female-equivalent-of-hes-got-a-small-dick/486141.md?page=3)