# What's the funniest song you've ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 1, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442 "2003-08-01T21:25:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/81 "2003-08-05T01:27:49Z")
Tesco Vee’s (singer for the legendary punk band The Meatmen) version of the Smiths “How Soon Is Now”. If you don’t know who Tesco Vee is, well, lets just say he’s the person least likely to be mistaken for Morrisey. Other than it being heavy, its a pretty straightforward cover, but the fact that Tesco’s singing it just breaks my funnybone. On a related note, Mojo Nixon does a very funny version of “Girlfriend In A Coma”. If we’re talking just novelty songs then Bill Cosbys Barry White parody “Yes Yes Yes” is the funniest song I’ve ever heard. Jon ---
**Author:** ![Strychnos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Strychnos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strychnos)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/82 "2003-08-05T02:03:48Z")
“They’re Coming To Take Me away, Ha-haa!” by Napoleon XIV is a classic one from 1966. ---
**Author:** ![Antonius\_Block](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Antonius\_Block](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antonius_Block)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/83 "2003-08-05T04:06:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*_The Earl of Bayswater_, a traditional rugby song. The words are unutterably filthy, but absolutely hilarious, so I’ll only post one line here: > > **They hired a coal miner > To find her vagina…** > > Do a Google search on the title if you’re interested in the rest. > \*\* You’re thinking of _“The **Mayor** of Bayswater”_, **jjimm**. I thought that there might be variant titles (my rugby-playing days are long past), but Google gives 108 hits for _Mayor_ vs 0 hits for _Earl_. Also in the same vein is _The Engineer’s Song_ (“An engineer told me before he died…”). To me, both are more filthy than funny, but YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/84 "2003-08-05T18:09:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Antonius Block \* > **You’re thinking of _“The Mayor of Bayswater”_, jjimm. I thought that there might be variant titles (my rugby-playing days are long past), but Google gives 108 hits for _Mayor_ vs 0 hits for _Earl_.** Ah well, “Earl” is how I was taught - since it was an aural tradition before being codified on the interweb thingy I shall carry on singing “Earl”. I must just have learned a rarer version. 😉 And MMV - for me the humour is just _how_ unbelievable filthy it is. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/85 "2003-08-05T18:32:05Z")
The Banana Song That is where you take the name and twist it. Tom Tom Bo Bom Banana fana fo fom fe fi fo fom Tom ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/86 "2003-08-05T20:43:24Z")
Seconding Kip Adada’s “Wet Dream in the Gulf Stream.” I laughed out loud the first time I heard it. I haven’t seen “Star Trekkin’” mentioned. It also got some playtime on Dr. Demento’s show. \*Star Trekkin’ Across the universe Always going forward 'Cause we can’t find reverse. There’s Klingons off the starboard bow Starboard bow Starboard bow There’s Klingons off the starboard bow Starboard bow, Jim. We come in peace [sub]Shoot to kill, shoot to kill …[/sub]\* Good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/87 "2003-08-05T21:33:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Isabelle \* > \*\*The Banana Song > That is where you take the name and twist it. > > Tom Tom Bo Bom Banana fana fo fom fe fi fo fom Tom \*\* Actually, it’s called [_The Name Game_](http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=tOURDXaZaws%3D) . ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/88 "2003-08-05T22:10:18Z")
John Prine has a couple of good ones: **Dear Abby** \*Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long My hair’s fallin’ out and my rights are all wrong My friends they all tell me are no friends at all Won’t you write me a letter, won’t you give me a call Signed, Bewildered Chorus: Bewildered, Bewildered, you have no complaint You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t So listen up buster and listen up good Stop wishin’ for bad luck and knockin’ on wood Dear Abby, Dear Abby my fountain pen leaks My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed If it weren’t so expensive, I’d wish I were dead Signed, Unhappy Chorus: Unhappy, Unhappy… \* Etc… Then there’s **Beer Run** by Todd Snider: _B double E double R UN, BEER RUN…_ But maybe my favorite is “You don’t even call me by my name”, by Steve Goodman and John Prine. It’s a song that has everything that’s ever been in a country song, all wrapped up into one. The first two verses are fairly standard, then the monologue goes, “Well, we missed a lot of stuff in the first two verses. God, Mother, prisons, farms, trucks, trains, getting drunk, big holidays like Christmas, and dead dogs like Old Shep. And with all due respect, you can’t have a good country song without God, mother, prison, farms, trucks, trains, Christmas, and dead dogs. So here’s the last verse:” \*Well since the dog got drunk and died, And Momma went to prison, Nothing 'round this farm has been the same. And God, you know, when mom broke out last Christmas, She drove a getaway laundry truck right into a train. \ And I’m gonna hang around, as long as you will let me, And I didn’t mind it, standing in the rain, You don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’. But you never even called me by my name. \* Great song. ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/89 "2003-08-05T22:13:38Z")
I remembered another one… " Get Drunk With Dignity " (I’m not sure if there is more than one song called that) It has some great lines… “If a bar has human ears nailed to the wall, don’t pass out there” ---
**Author:** ![dimsie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/77aa72/32.png) [@dimsie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dimsie)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/90 "2003-08-05T22:20:09Z")
Is everyone burned out on ‘United States of Whatever’ already? I’m still amused by that song. The various episodes of Mr. Show which contain songs always kill me. ‘Ewww, Girl, Ewww’ by Three Times One Minus One. Those evil, evil parodies of Eric Clapton and Brian Wilson (‘A Mouth Full of Sores’). The D, always. David Brent’s horrendous turns on his guitar in The Office. ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/91 "2003-08-08T20:43:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by benlormat \* > **The Asshole Song** by Jimmy Buffet I am not familiar with this particular version … not really Buffett’s thing, y’ask me. **Asshole** is Denis Leary, all the way. Buffett’s **Fruitcakes** is pretty funny, tho. Anybody else know who Stephen Lynch is? Funny and _genius_. My personal fave is **Lullaby (Divorce Song)**. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/92 "2003-08-08T23:05:00Z")
[“Boobs”](http://artists.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Wallis,_Ruth/) by Ruth Wallis. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/93 "2003-08-08T23:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sternvogel \* > \*\*Actually, it’s called [_The Name Game_](http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=tOURDXaZaws%3D) . \*\* Let’s try Chuck! …no…wait… Let’s try Bart! …no …wait… never mind! ---
**Author:** ![ZebWalton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/fbc32d/32.png) [@ZebWalton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebWalton)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/94 "2003-08-09T03:50:28Z")
A couple that I can’t believe haven’t been mentioned so far … “Alice’s Restaurant” and the “Motorcycle Song”, by Arlo Guthrie. Also, “Motorpsycho Nitemare,” by Bob Dylan (circa 1964), of all people – a really cool story song that plays off the old farmer’s daughter joke with the movie “Psycho.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/95 "2003-08-09T12:27:23Z")
> [@](#): > > But maybe my favorite is “You don’t even call me by my name”, by Steve Goodman and John Prine. I’ve heard this as “You Don’t Have to Call Me Darlin’, Darlin” by David Allen Coe (who also sings the ridiculously filthy “I’d Like to Fuck The Shit Out Of You” and “Whips and Things.”). He mentions Steve Goodman, and the last verse of his version goes: _I was drunk the day my momma got out of prison And I went to pick her up in the rain But before I could get to the station in my pick-up truck She got run over by a damned ol’ train_ I really like “Title of the Song” by Da Vinci’s Notebook, “The Commercial” by King Missile, “Tribute” by Tenacious D, and Hayseed Dixie’s cover of “Big Balls” (which must be heard to be believed). > [@](#): > > Amazed no one mentioned Theme from Orgazmo by Trey Parker. I am listening to it now - very funny. I think that’s “Now You’re a Man” by DVDA, as referenced by **incubus** on the previous page. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442/96 "2003-08-09T17:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve heard this as “You Don’t Have to Call Me Darlin’, Darlin” by David Allen Coe (who also sings the ridiculously filthy “I’d Like to Fuck The Shit Out Of You” and “Whips and Things.”). He mentions Steve Goodman, and the last verse of his version goes: David Allen Coe definitely recorded the most popular version of the song. It was written by Goodman and John Prine. I have Steve Goodman’s live version, and I think it’s way better than Coe’s. The lyrics I posted are from the live version. When he does the monologue about what a country song needs, he says, “Getting Drunk thanks to Coe.” I guess Coe earned them some money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-funniest-song-youve-ever-heard/192442.md?page=4)