# What's the "Hard-boiled egg" joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 31, 2019, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806 "2019-10-31T21:31:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BlueInfinity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BlueInfinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueInfinity)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/21 "2019-11-01T12:39:38Z")
I think it’s just an alternate and slightly silly way to measure time. It takes around ten minutes to boil an egg, but that’s not the point. He means that something is happening that he expects will take X time, but then something went wrong so now it’ll take Y (Y\>X). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/22 "2019-11-01T13:53:40Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > In the future people will be baffled when old-timers say “D’oh!” or “That’s what she said.” Catch phrases have a limited life. The Simpsons being cancelled?! Have you heard something? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/23 "2019-11-01T13:59:44Z")
I have no idea where the ‘material’ line started. It was used in a Seinfeld episode with George. I have some inkling of a very old, maybe 1930s short, not the Stooges, with some comedian feeling the material. There are a lot of old jokes about tailoring and clothes manufacturing that points to ‘material’. I don’t even remember the body of the joke now, but one punchline was a guy falling or jumping off a building and shouting “Cut velvet!” on the way down. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/24 "2019-11-01T14:42:38Z")
I have a feeling the “material” line came from some gangster movie, like Humphrey Bogart fingering George Raft’s lapel just before he whacks him: “Hmmm, nice material. Who’s your tailor?” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/25 "2019-11-01T14:45:07Z")
In case anyone doesn’t like watching videos, [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Night_at_the_Opera_(film)#Stateroom_scene) is the Stateroom Scene: > [@](#): > > Driftwood plans a rendezvous with Mrs. Claypool in his stateroom. Then he finds out how small it is (a third class cabin, about the size of a janitor’s closet), and that he, his steamer trunk, and the bed barely fit in it. Driftwood discovers that Fiorello, Tomasso, and Ricardo have stowed away in his steamer trunk and discarded his clothes. Fiorello insists on eating (“We getta food or we don’t go”). Driftwood calls a steward (“I say, Stew”) and orders dinner. > > **Driftwood:** And two medium-boiled eggs. > **Fiorello:** _(inside room)_: And two hard-boiled eggs. > **Driftwood:** And two hard-boiled eggs. > **Tomasso:** _(inside room)_: (honk) > **Driftwood:** Make that three hard boiled eggs. > > This continues until Fiorello and Tomasso each have ordered about a dozen hard-boiled eggs and Driftwood has ordered about everything else—including coffee to sober up some stewed prunes. This is just a set-up for the famous “Stateroom Scene”, in which a total of 15 people crowd into Driftwood’s tiny cabin. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/26 "2019-11-01T14:51:15Z")
> [@Hatchie](#): > > Hard boiled eggs and nuts! “You’re ‘better’ now. Hmmph!” ---
**Author:** ![tullsterx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tullsterx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tullsterx)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/27 "2019-11-01T14:59:55Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > I think you’re right. The level of intelligence in this hemisphere has declined to the point where most of us can no longer understand the popular humor enjoyed amongst our grandparents. > > 99 per cent of Millenials would be mystified at the image of a man dressed in a sardine barrel, or bewildered at someone crushed by a falling safe. > > Nov shmoz ka pop. I might agree but for the fact that the Marx Bros is about the only comedy in history I just don’t get. I mean, much of Shakespeare is hilarious, but the Marx Bros are just over my head. I find that hard to believe. But, at the end of the day it’s true that I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/28 "2019-11-01T15:18:56Z")
> [@tullsterx](#): > > I might agree but for the fact that the Marx Bros is about the only comedy in history I just don’t get. I mean, much of Shakespeare is hilarious, but the Marx Bros are just over my head. I find that hard to believe. But, at the end of the day it’s true that I just don’t get it. Absurdism isn’t your cup of tea? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bizerta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@bizerta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizerta)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/29 "2019-11-01T17:49:12Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > I think you’re right. The level of intelligence in this hemisphere has declined to the point where most of us can no longer understand the popular humor enjoyed amongst our grandparents. > > 99 per cent of Millenials would be mystified at the image of a man dressed in a sardine barrel, or bewildered at someone crushed by a falling safe. > > Nov shmoz ka pop. I think context has a lot to do with humor. The line wouldn’t be funny if it had only been said once. When I was in OCS, we were not allowed to watch television for the first 8 weeks. Every Tuesday, the instructors would come in mimicking Sammy Davis, Jr, “Here come de judge”. None of us saw the humor in it until we were allowed to watch Sammy do it, in judges robes, with the white wig, with that big gavel of his. After that, all one had to say was, “Here come de judge” and we all knew what he was talking about. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/30 "2019-11-01T18:26:21Z")
Pretty sure “Here come de judge!” was Flip Wilson. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/31 "2019-11-01T18:37:40Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > In the future people will be baffled when old-timers say “D’oh!” or “That’s what she said.” Catch phrases have a limited life. I’m not so sure. Both have meaning outside their reference. “D’oh” came from and is a sounds humans make when exasperated. And I honestly have no idea what piece of fiction “That’s what she said” is referencing–I just know it’s a joke about how something someone said could be interpreted as sexual. I do agree with your general claim: jokes based only on references have a dated shelf life. They’re funny because they remind us of a funny context in which they were said. But I think your examples are of those which aren’t entirely based on references. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/32 "2019-11-01T18:44:17Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Pretty sure “Here come de judge!” was Flip Wilson. Sammy Davis, Jr, on _ **Laugh-In** _, I think. Flip’s catch phrase was “The Devil made me do it!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/33 "2019-11-01T19:14:53Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Sammy Davis, Jr, on _ **Laugh-In** _, I think. It was originated by [Pigmeat Markham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigmeat_Markham) in the 50s. Davis was imitating it and it was considered new, since Markham didn’t perform for white audiences due to segregation. Markham wasn’t happy, but that was assuaged and he joined the _Laugh-In_ cast the next season. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/34 "2019-11-01T19:18:28Z")
> [@tullsterx](#): > > I might agree but for the fact that the Marx Bros is about the only comedy in history I just don’t get. I mean, much of Shakespeare is hilarious, but the Marx Bros are just over my head. I find that hard to believe. But, at the end of the day it’s true that I just don’t get it. If you wouldn’t mind clarifying, when you say “over my head” do you mean that you don’t understand Marx Brothers jokes, or that you understand what they mean, but the joke just falls flat for you? Because there is a big difference there. Personally, I liked the Marx Brothers a lot more when I was younger. It may be oversaturation, but I still find Monty Python funny, even after having seen their bits over and over. Certainly more times than I’ve watched _Duck Soup_. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/35 "2019-11-01T23:35:28Z")
It also could be a reference to the tapeworm joke. **(somewhat off color joke follows)** Man has a tapeworm, but cant afford a real Doctor, goes to a quack. The quack sez "i will need 3 hard boiled eggs, two chocolate covered cherries and a hammer. " The man is gobsmacked. :eek: The quack explains. “We insert a hard boiled egg up your anus. Followed by a chocolate covered cherry. Next day the same. Third day, just the egg. When the tapeworm sticks his head out looking for his dessert, I smash him with the hammer.” :D:p :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/36 "2019-11-01T23:51:02Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Pretty sure “Here come de judge!” was Flip Wilson. And [Shorty Long.](https://youtu.be/IQi546UqfT4?t=3) > [@tullsterx](#): > > I might agree but for the fact that the Marx Bros is about the only comedy in history I just don’t get. I mean, much of Shakespeare is hilarious, but the Marx Bros are just over my head. I find that hard to believe. But, at the end of the day it’s true that I just don’t get it. Maybe you need a laff track so you know where the jokes are. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/37 "2019-11-01T23:52:34Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > No one watches the Marx Brothers any more. They’re way too far over most people’s heads. “All I can offer you is a Rufus over your head.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/38 "2019-11-01T23:59:47Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > And [Shorty Long.](https://youtu.be/IQi546UqfT4?t=3) That was recorded ten years after Markham performed it. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2019, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/39 "2019-11-05T02:34:41Z")
Groucho Marx never actually said this, but it would have fit him perfectly: [Angry Man]: “Do you take me for a fool!?” [Groucho]: “Well that’s beside the point…” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2019, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806/40 "2019-11-05T15:49:06Z")
Awfully close to this throwaway exchange in **A Night at the Opera:** Detective Henderson: “Am I crazy, or are there _four_ chairs in here now?” Otis B. Driftwood: “Which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-hard-boiled-egg-joke/842806.md?page=3)