# What's the joke to this punch line? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277 "2004-05-15T15:13:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/41 "2004-05-16T02:51:34Z")
[This thread consists solely of punch lines to jokes.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=208507) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/42 "2004-05-16T02:55:40Z")
So he says, “You know what I want-- unscrew it and pass it up here!” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/43 "2004-05-16T03:28:37Z")
People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones. Until I realised he was a fan of mew words. Its easy. I’m an ex-tractor fan. and then I knew… this was the work of a surreal killer. He should have quit when he was a head. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/44 "2004-05-16T03:30:50Z")
“I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!” “Hell, no it’s not rigged. My wife won three times last week!” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/45 "2004-05-16T03:36:26Z")
(borrowed from Arthur C. Clarke) … one star-mangled spanner. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/46 "2004-05-16T04:04:59Z")
It has to _want_ to change. They just sit around hoping it’ll come back on. One to screw it in, and one to screw it up. Unity. One to change it, and two to argue about whether the new one is as good as the original. That’s a hardware problem. 399 to blow up the ship from shame. One, or two if its a _heavy_ bulb One to change it and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. How many can you afford? One, plus or minus 0.0000000001. none of your damn business. That information is available on a need to know basis only. None… they screw in hot tubs. Fish. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/47 "2004-05-16T04:15:17Z")
…And the bear said, “For what we are about to receive, Oh Lord, make us truly grateful.” No, Ole, those are for the wake. …And if He sees His shadow we get six more weeks of winter. …if this is New York, think what Decorah must be like. How about I drag her over to Elm Street? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/48 "2004-05-16T04:18:31Z")
[“Picture this. You’re hiding, naked, in a refrigerator…”](http://www.jokingaround.com/jokes/103.htm) [“Senor,” the waiter explains, “the bull does not always lose.”](http://www.dalebroux.com/humor/jokes/000006_Cojones_.asp) [“P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”](http://members.fortunecity.co.uk/dancannon/jokes/Marriage/The_Gift.html) ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/49 "2004-05-16T04:44:06Z")
“Now, where’s the young lady with the sore tooth?” ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/50 "2004-05-16T05:02:59Z")
You can’t unscrew a pregnant lady. It doesn’t heal em, but it sure as hell keeps you from lickin’ em! She could only be charged with a misdeweiner. ---
**Author:** ![peculiar\_hailstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/46a35a/32.png) [@peculiar\_hailstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peculiar_hailstone)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/51 "2004-05-16T06:44:17Z")
one to hold the bulb, and one to smoke dope until the room starts to spin ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/52 "2004-05-16T07:47:49Z")
“…and so there I was, with my thumb up a leopard’s arse!” “I dunno,” said the Invisible Man, “but my butt’s killin’ me.” “You didn’t come here to hunt, did you?” “Next time, put the potato in the front.” “What did you want, a miracle?” “I’m tho thore I can’t thtand up!” ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/53 "2004-05-16T08:07:06Z")
“What else should I think?!? How would you feel if your only visitor for 9 months was some prick that hit you in the head and threw up on you!?!” ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/54 "2004-05-16T11:01:53Z")
"And one duck turns to the other and sais, “what do I look like, a toaster?” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/55 "2004-05-16T12:20:54Z")
And the farmer points at her and says, “That’s one!” Regards, Shodan PS - **cazzle** , that is my favorite joke of all time. ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/56 "2004-05-16T13:26:15Z")
“Death good…But first, a little Chi-Chi!” “So I screwed her twice and pulled her hair!” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/57 "2004-05-16T14:51:55Z")
Now where’s that Eskimo woman I gotta wrestle? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/58 "2004-05-16T14:54:34Z")
Noooo, he thinks he’s Tiger Woods! (love that one) ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/59 "2004-05-16T16:02:07Z")
“The gun was loaded with blanks!” she said. “So I had to beat him to death with the chair leg!” ---
**Author:** ![freakstasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@freakstasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freakstasy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277/60 "2004-05-16T16:56:17Z")
and then the man said, “that’s no gorilla, that’s my wife!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-joke-to-this-punch-line/245277.md?page=4)