# What's the lamest name you've given a pet? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 25, 2019, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519 "2019-05-25T22:31:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/21 "2019-05-26T06:50:14Z")
had a cat named big mouth he was a runt and meowed the loudest so mom would feed him… a cat named satan … I was walking down the street calling him when he ran out the door freaked the Mormon family next door off tho i think he went with them when mom and kids left blackie who just passed on last Wed was named by a 2-year-old who is now 21 and an evil kitty named because she was mean and mentally ill and passed on a few hours after blackie also she had internal problems… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/22 "2019-05-26T07:18:33Z")
Has anyone named their dog after Steve Martin’s dog in _The Jerk_? But really, I call the dog in my house “doge” (doʊʤ), as in the internet joke. But I’m not a dog person. The rest of the family calls him “Oscar”. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/23 "2019-05-26T08:08:01Z")
There was my first hamster, named “Hammy”. Then there was my second hamster, named “Hammy”. My guinea pig was named “Chirp” after the noise he made calling for food. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/24 "2019-05-26T08:37:46Z")
We had a turtle my brother and I wanted to call shellshock but my mom insisted we shorten it to SS which isn’t much more politically sensitive but I didn’t know much about the Nazis at the time. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/25 "2019-05-26T11:57:24Z")
We had a budgerigar named Joey. Later we got another which we called JJ, which stood for Joey Junior. Our other pets had reasonably unique names, but not the birds. ---
**Author:** ![Sandwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@Sandwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandwood)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/26 "2019-05-26T12:10:31Z")
My cut-throat finch boys were named Big Bird and Little Bird. They were both the same size, but Big Bird was the more dominant of the two. When Big Bird died, I got a female as a replacement so Little Bird wouldn’t be lonely. I named her Girl Bird. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/27 "2019-05-26T12:11:45Z")
Hmm, there was also the foster kitten I called “rat”. They were orphans. My husband bottle-fed them. They was a little incontinent, and we didn’t clean them as well as mom would have, so Rat’s tail was often matted flat, making her look like a rat. She turned into a completely gorgeous long-haired calico, and was the most human-friendly cat I’ve ever known. Of all the myriad of kittens we fostered, she’s the only one I regret not keeping. (We had three cats at the time, and really didn’t have capacity to adopt another. It was right to give her back. But she was SUCH a sweet and gorgeous kitten.) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/28 "2019-05-26T12:46:48Z")
A little different. My mother got some cats while I was in Japan for a short visit. She named them “Buttons” and “Bows.” Those was far too cute of names for a guy in his 20s so I convinced her to change the names. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/29 "2019-05-26T12:58:45Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Not me, but a housemate had a black dog named Nigger. The dog escaped, but we couldn’t exactly go through the neighborhood calling it. And I thought going though the neighborhood calling for Dave (a dog) was rough. “Yeah, who are you, waddaya want?” ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/30 "2019-05-26T13:39:42Z")
Lets see, There was Shelmore The Cat when I was a kid, not sure where my sister came up with that but thats who picked that name. Later I had Mouthy, a skinny little tuxedo-tabby male with a red flame tattoo right above each front paw. So named because according to the Mrs. at the time, he never made a sound till I got home from work, then he never shut up till I went to bed. His companion and mentor Kiki(key key) which is the short form of Kittykitty(hey, he came when called Kiki so it stuck) Hm Tigger, female tabby and Princess a snake hunting tortie. Miss Blueberry Muffin Fancy Pants, a polydactyl female, front half was siamese/seal point with a light brown face with those blue eyes that made me think Blueberry Muffin, the back half was all tabby making her look like she was wearing pants. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/31 "2019-05-26T13:50:50Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > My first cat was named Fur. > > In my defense, I was 5. I don’t remember this, but I was told that as a small child I insisted that, because the cat we’d just gotten was a calico, her name had to be Calico. I apparently won that argument; though Calico was more my sister’s cat than mine. – lingyi, if true that really is extraordinarily rare. The black and yellow/orange/ginger colors each need to be on an x chromosome, neither is found on a y. So an apparently male cat with both black and yellow is either an xxy – usually sterile, and pretty rare in itself – or a new type of mutant. Cats are generally not monogamous. Are you sure he was the father? (For that matter, are you sure the adult calico was a tom?) An orange tom and a black queen could produce a calico/tortiseshell kitten. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/32 "2019-05-26T14:45:24Z")
We had a Himalayan kitten who we named Wendell, because at the time we got her, there was a commercial on TV with a little kid named Wendell, and my husband decided he liked the name. Alas, poor Wendell died when she was a year old - we’re pretty sure it was feline leukemia, but way back then, it wasn’t a standard cat inoculation. Back in the mid-90s, we adopted a border collie/lab mix who was named Bernadette. Neither of us liked that name for a dog. We called her Bernie for the next 14 years - she was the best dog evah!!! ---
**Author:** ![turner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@turner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turner)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/33 "2019-05-26T14:49:41Z")
My first pet was a goldfish named Useless ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/34 "2019-05-26T15:01:06Z")
> [@turner](#): > > My first pet was a goldfish named Useless ouch ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/35 "2019-05-26T15:56:32Z")
I named our cat **Wowbagger**. The Mrs. refuses to call him that; referring to him as “Wowser”. His meows sound like he’s saying “wowbagger”, though. Over and over and over. He does go on ad infinitum . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/36 "2019-05-26T16:09:49Z")
We had a cat named “Kitty”. Technically, his name was Tripod (he was missing a leg) but no one called him that except his vet files. When we got our current cat, my wife was thinking of names. When I offered an opinion of her suggestions, she said “You’re just going to call her ‘Cat’ anyway” which has turned out to be largely true. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/37 "2019-05-26T16:20:08Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I don’t remember this, but I was told that as a small child I insisted that, because the cat we’d just gotten was a calico, her name had to be Calico. > > I apparently won that argument; though Calico was more my sister’s cat than mine. > – lingyi, if true that really is extraordinarily rare. The black and yellow/orange/ginger colors each need to be on an x chromosome, neither is found on a y. So an apparently male cat with both black and yellow is either an xxy – usually sterile, and pretty rare in itself – or a new type of mutant. > > Cats are generally not monogamous. Are you sure he was the father? (For that matter, are you sure the adult calico was a tom?) An orange tom and a black queen could produce a calico/tortiseshell kitten. I’ll never be 100% certain, this was 30+ years ago, but I’m 99% sure he (yes, sure it was a he) was the father since he hung around yard, but kept at bay by Put Puts. Put Puts was your typical black cat, but the tom was ugly, like Ugly. After Put Puts had a second kitten, we sent both of them to the Humane Society, so I didn’t see the second kitten grow. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/38 "2019-05-26T18:47:46Z")
We adopted a beautiful white and golden, silky haired collie-type dog once. I was watching and old Elvis movie and he described a girl as “real flippy”. Yes, I named my dog Flippy. ---
**Author:** ![Critical\_Mass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Critical\_Mass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical_Mass)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/39 "2019-05-26T18:52:10Z")
We adopted 2 cats from a rescue shelter. I had only intended on adopting the 6 month old siamese, but he had been rescued from a feral mother and wasn’t quite confident around people yet. However, he had a companion who was constantly by his side - a little white shorthaired female. A cat’s cat. So we adopted her too. As with all of the animals we’ve adopted over the years, we named them after a few days based on their personality. Usually, they would reveal to us some inspiration for whatever their name turned out to me. So the siamese became Charlie. And we waited for the little white cat to let us know what she should be called. 10 years later, this sweet and endearing, but generic cat remains Little White Cat. And yes, that’s what the name is on her veterinary records. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2019, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519/40 "2019-05-26T19:07:23Z")
I once had a parakeet named, bird. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-name-youve-given-a-pet/834519.md?page=3)