# What's the lamest special effects you've seen in films? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 17, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350 "2009-07-17T16:09:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheMadHun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@TheMadHun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMadHun)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/1 "2009-07-17T16:09:53Z")
Old French films are full of them. Like Fellini’s Casanova (1976) had a scene supposed to show a guy in a rowboat on a lake at night. It was done on land. His flat bottomed dory was sitting on a huge black plastic tarp with wind machines blowing under and over to make it look like waves. Only of course it looked like he was on land on a tarp. A Very Private Affair (1962) Brigitte Bardot and Marcello Mastroianni. Not exactly special, but he is supposed to be a bigshot producer rushing around on a major studio campus, and he’s clearly stepping out of an abandoned building where the weeds are knee deep over the paths and the signs naming each building are just made of paper. When they shoot inside their fabulous house, they make a comment about the nuisance of the construction. But the clutter is there for months and it’s clear there’s not a stick of furniture. Obviously they rented a rich guy’s house while he was not using it for the day to do all their shooting without paying for a set. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/2 "2009-07-17T16:19:37Z")
> [@TheMadHun](#): > > Old French films are full of them. > > Like Fellini’s Casanova (1976) had a scene supposed to show a guy in a rowboat on a lake at night. It was done on land. His flat bottomed dory was sitting on a huge black plastic tarp with wind machines blowing under and over to make it look like waves. Only of course it looked like he was on land on a tarp. This seemed in total keeping with the rest of the movie. I thought it was knowingly fake. Wolverine discovering his new metal laced claws in the bathroom was pretty bad in the W: Origins movie. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/3 "2009-07-17T16:20:31Z")
There is a hilariously bad kung fu movie that a friend, an aficionado of the genre, lent me. I can’t recall the name of it, but evidently the fight scenes are quite good or something. Anyway, there’s a killer whale in it. The whale is the hero’s buddy and all. The whale is absolutely hilarious, because every time you see the whale from the land, the whale is in Ocean Stock Footage - you know, the color the actual ocean is. When you see the whale from below, underwater, it is clearly stock footage from Sea World or similar - blue water, concrete pool. It’s hilarious. The whale’s name, I just remembered, was Sea-Wayne. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/4 "2009-07-17T16:22:24Z")
The airplane take-off at the end of \*\*Casablanca \*\*is clearly a model… I’m not sure of the point of this question. Are you looking for lame special effects, or special effects that could have been done much better if anyone had bothered to spend another fifteen cents on them? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/5 "2009-07-17T16:22:26Z")
Well _Flash Gordon_ isn’t exactly filled with top of the line special effects, especially conisdering it came out well after _Star Wars_ so it wasn’t like the technology wasn’t there. However, I kind of think it was intentional, to give it more of a 50’s serial look and feel. Nonetheless, it is an awesome movie. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/6 "2009-07-17T16:29:28Z")
The giant monster that is \*totally not a lobster silhouette \*held close to the camera in **Teenagers from Outer Space**. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/7 "2009-07-17T16:48:30Z")
“It’s only a model.” The polar bear suit in _Santa Claus Conquers The Martians_. It’s so obviously fake that in the MST3K treatment, Joel and the bots just start laughing when it comes on screen. “Oh come _on_!” ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/8 "2009-07-17T16:50:07Z")
Based on the glowing recommendation of some artsy friends, I rented _Suspiria_ from Netflix. I can only assume my friends were all exceptionally high when they saw _Suspiria_. Then again, I do have some friends who are the type of pretentious weenies who think ANY film directed by a European is the work of a genius. I just don’t have a large enough stock of superlatives to describe what a shit-fest of a movie this was, but the not-so-special effects really stand out like a turd in a punchbowl. There were more than these just two examples, of course, but these are the ones I remember most • The ‘blood’ looks like vodka sauce from a jar (think Bertolli’s) or thinned Kraft Mac-n-Cheese without the mac; a garish, day-glo orange goo. • In the scene where the dog attacks his blind owner, the camera keeps cutting back and forth from a shot of the bored-looking canine gnawing a chunk of stringy stewmeat to a shot of what looks to be a tattered “dog mouth” hand puppet (most likely made of moth-eaten rabbit fur and an old gym sock) chewing on the actors throat while he gargles out a scream. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/9 "2009-07-17T16:54:59Z")
Yaphet Kotto’s “human balloon” death scene in _Live and Let Die_. An incredibly stupid idea, appallingly executed. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/10 "2009-07-17T16:55:00Z")
The Scorpion King (The Rock) at the end of The Mummy 2. He was supposed to be this big, bad monster but he looked like a cartoon. You can tell they just rushed at the end. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/11 "2009-07-17T16:59:41Z")
Ed Wood was the king of them – was it _Plan 9 from Outer Space_ that used a pie plate on some fishing line for a UFO? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/12 "2009-07-17T17:00:47Z")
Merlin’s disappearance in _Excalibur_ “A dream to some . . . a nightmare to others!” _pop!_ Okay, that’s what someone vanishing would really look like, I guess. And the whole Merlin role is great fun, but stopping the camera and having the actor walk off the set before starting it up again is about as lame as effects can be. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/13 "2009-07-17T17:43:49Z")
I remember laughing at the werewolves climbing down a corridor in **Underworld** not only was the scene clearly inspired by **Aliens** the CGI was so bad that the rubber suit guys in **Aliens** looked better. Come to think of it every moment of **Underworld** made me laugh. If not at the bad F/X at the bad plot/acting/story/character motivations/etc. I should watch it again someday. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/14 "2009-07-17T17:54:01Z")
In the John Wayne Naval film **In Harm’s Way** you have actual navy ships the actors were aboard which look fantastic juxtaposed by ridiculous toy like model ships a kid would have in a bathtub used for the fleet battle scenes. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/15 "2009-07-17T18:11:27Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > The Scorpion King (The Rock) at the end of The Mummy 2. He was supposed to be this big, bad monster but he looked like a cartoon. You can tell they just rushed at the end. Exactly what I came in to say, especially as compared to the CGI for the Mummy, which was spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/16 "2009-07-17T18:20:07Z")
_Night of the Lepus_ had some classic bad special effects. The “best” is the close up of the giant killer rabbits, which were nothing more than rabbits with some red food coloring around their mouths, chewing on lettuce or pellets or something. One scene would show the actor screaming in terror at some apparently horrible monstrosity, next scene: close up of the cute widdle bunny rabbits. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/17 "2009-07-17T18:23:38Z")
In **Swamp Diamonds** , the camera cuts between stock footage of an alligator and the victim who is clearly in a swimming pool. In **Revenge of the Creature** , the creature throws a victim at a tree but it’s pretty obvious that the victim is suspended by a rope as there is a definate upswing as they hit the tree. But the rest of the flick had mainly good SFX. The forced-perspective dinosaur shots in \*\*Future War \*\*were hilariously bad. Like, Sid & Marty Kroft bad. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/18 "2009-07-17T18:24:10Z")
[The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/) was pretty painful to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/19 "2009-07-17T18:27:45Z")
I guess the better idea for a thread would be, "surprisingly’ bad special effects, the kind you see where you actually expected better. An easy example was in one of the last episodes of Lost this year, the submarine going into the water seemed very poorly done CGI, even for a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350/20 "2009-07-17T18:29:32Z")
Kind of hard to top the blob attacking the diner in _The Blob_: the filmmakers just poured a can of goop onto a postcard of a hamburger stand. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-lamest-special-effects-youve-seen-in-films/503350.md?page=2)