# What's the laziest way to get leaves off a lawn?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 25, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964 "2010-09-25T03:23:05Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964/41 "2010-09-27T16:22:00Z")

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Yesterday I drove around on the lawn tractor and chopped up/bagged leaves which we need as a mulch for the flower beds, etc.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964/42 "2010-09-27T16:45:49Z")

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Roll one up, smoke it, start gigglin’ like a loon and tell the neighbors to stay the hell out of your stash.

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**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\
**Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964/43 "2010-09-27T17:40:19Z")

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There must be genetically modified bacteria that have a taste for dead leaves. If not, build your own. Then set it loose on the lawn. Of course some of the DNA from the bacteria will probably mutate and find it’s way into other organisms. If any of those are human parasites, like ticks for instance, then they will probably pass the mutant DNA on to humans and thus initiate the zombie apocalypse. But WTF, at that point the leaves will be the least of your concerns.

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**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\
**Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964/44 "2010-09-27T18:50:07Z")

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I have a fenced back yard with no trees but the neighbors’ trees shed leaves into my yard. Yet I never have to rake a leaf–they all disappear to the same place.

My house is a split-level and there is a concrete stairwell to the lower level. I have blocked that door and don’t use the stairwell. Every leaf that lands in my back yard eventually gets blown into the stairwell\* and never gets back out. All I have to do is wait until the end of the season (or the spring) and clean out the stairwell.

- Except for leaves that get caught on the fence or in the flowerbeds.

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-laziest-way-to-get-leaves-off-a-lawn/554964/45 "2010-09-27T19:22:14Z")

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> [@lieu](#):
>
> Roll one up, smoke it, start gigglin’ like a loon and tell the neighbors to stay the hell out of your stash.

Win.

Suddenly, I don’t like my solution of redefining them as “mulch” quite so much as I did before.

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