# What's the Longest It's Taken You to Get a Joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2008, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712 "2008-12-18T05:56:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/41 "2008-12-19T08:51:54Z")
A really lame one from a '50s-era joke book that I read as a kid: Teacher: “Use the following words in a sentence: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.” Student: “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.” One day, maybe 20 years later, I suddenly got it. ---
**Author:** ![Paladud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Paladud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paladud)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/42 "2008-12-19T09:04:01Z")
I loved “The Color of Magic” on my first reading, but missed a joke on the first readthrough. I think it was two years later that I realized the meaning of “reflected-sounds-of-underground-spirits” and started laughing my ass off. At myself. It just happened to be my major. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/43 "2008-12-19T09:14:10Z")
When I was a preteen (early '70s) I used to watch reruns of shows like _Dragnet_ and _Hogan’s Heroes_ after school. A few years ago I was remembering an occasional character named ‘GruppenFuhrer Freitag’ and idly translated it into English. Sergeant Friday ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/44 "2008-12-19T09:58:52Z")
One sketch on the Carol Burnette Show had Carol pining for Steve Lawrence, who was in love with another woman. He showed her a diamond necklace that he intended to give to his girlfriend, and asked Carol what she would do for that kind of present. “Anything you want, and twice on Sundays!” she said. It wasn’t until adulthood that I understood what that actually meant. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/45 "2008-12-19T10:27:37Z")
I used to watch Fraggle Rock when I was young but it wasn’t until adulthood when I finally got the joke about Gobo’s peripatetic uncle [Travelling Matt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matte_(filmmaking)). ---
**Author:** ![AndLuna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@AndLuna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndLuna)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/46 "2008-12-19T11:57:32Z")
Another HitchHiker’s Guide one: it took me eight years to understand the “glass of water” joke. (“It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.” “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water.”) It dawned on me out of nowhere one day while I was sitting on a bus thinking about nothing in particular. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/47 "2008-12-19T15:55:28Z")
> [@AndLuna](#): > > Another HitchHiker’s Guide one: it took me eight years to understand the “glass of water” joke. (“It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.” “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water.”) It dawned on me out of nowhere one day while I was sitting on a bus thinking about nothing in particular. Hmmmm…I don’t get this either. I’m quite dim. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/48 "2008-12-19T16:05:20Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Hmmmm…I don’t get this either. I’m quite dim. Think of drunk like drank. A glass of water doesn’t like being drank(drunk). ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/49 "2008-12-19T16:07:54Z")
Interestingly, long enough that I posted the joke [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173000&highlight=joke) and asked for answers. "A Jew comes home and gets into bed beside his wife. Suddenly he hears a scratching noise under the bed. The Jew reaches his hand under the bed and say 'Is that you, Fido?'and Fido licks his hand and says ‘Yes, it’s me.’ It was roughly 4 minutes before someone posted the answer and simultaneously pointed out my dumb at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/50 "2008-12-19T16:10:05Z")
I get the joke now, **welby** (don’t feel dumb, because I had to click the link) but why does ht matter that he’s Jewish? I was trying to think of possible stereotypes before I read the explanation. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/51 "2008-12-19T16:44:00Z")
Why have elephants got Big Ears? Becasue Noddy won’t pay the ransom! Noddy and Big Ears are UK children’s characters created by Enid Blyton ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/52 "2008-12-19T16:55:20Z")
“What’s this?” :eek: “I don’t know.” “Blower’s cramp.” “Oh. Ha ha.” “Get it?” “Yes.” “How often?” “Huh?” ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/53 "2008-12-19T17:12:07Z")
It took me about 25 years between the time I first heard the name of the two Disney Chipmunks as a child and the day I realized that their name was a take-off on the famous furniture maker Chippendale. ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/54 "2008-12-19T17:27:02Z")
> [@Hugh\_Jass](#): > > Do you have a match? > > Not since Superman died. > > I could NOT wrap my head around this one. I even had people explain it to me, and I didn’t get it. I think it was about 20 years until it dawned on me. “Yeah, your breath and a buffalo fart!” “Yeah, your face and my ass!” (Warning:!!! For some reason, it is very easy to switch that around and make a fool of yourself by saying “Your ass and my face!” Do not attempt this at home without a lot of practice to make sure you get it right.) ---
**Author:** ![Valteron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f17d59/32.png) [@Valteron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valteron)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/55 "2008-12-19T17:49:53Z")
> [@welby](#): > > Interestingly, long enough that I posted the joke [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173000&highlight=joke) and asked for answers. > > "A Jew comes home and gets into bed beside his wife. Suddenly he hears a scratching noise under the bed. The Jew reaches his hand under the bed and say 'Is that you, Fido?'and Fido licks his hand and says ‘Yes, it’s me.’ > > It was roughly 4 minutes before someone posted the answer and simultaneously pointed out my dumb at the same time. Some examples of Chinese jokes: 1)The father, the grandfather and the grandson are out chopping wood. The dim-sighted grandfather chops a finger off his son’s hand. The father jumps around cursing the grandfather for a blind old fool. The grandson, hearing this disrespect, starts cursing the father, saying, “How dare you curse your own father?” 1. Father: I can’t give you much of a dowry if you marry my daughter, but you will inherit my business some day. Suitor: And about when would that be? Both of these seem to be funny to the Chinese because they tread on forbidden territory, namely, disrespect to elders. 1. A fool in the village suspected his wife had a lover. One night he came home in time to see a man jumping out of the bedroom window. Under the bed he found a pair of strange shoes. He put them in the closet so he could take them to the magistrate the next day as evidence. During the night his wife threw the shoes down to her lover and put a pair of her husband’s in their place. The next morning the fool saw the shoes in the light of day and apologized to his wife for wrongly suspecting her. “I did not realize it was I who jumped out of the window last night!” Now, if you get this last one, you must be Chinese: "A greedy old bear is picking fruit up in a tree. He picks one apple with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He picks another with his right paw and puts it under his left arm. He reaches up for a third with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He reaches for a fourth with his right arm and puts it under his left arm. (Apparently, you keep telling the joke this way until your audience laughs. BTW, does anyone get it?). ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/56 "2008-12-19T18:03:02Z")
> [@Valteron](#): > > "A greedy old bear is picking fruit up in a tree. He picks one apple with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He picks another with his right paw and puts it under his left arm. He reaches up for a third with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He reaches for a fourth with his right arm and puts it under his left arm. (Apparently, you keep telling the joke this way until your audience laughs. BTW, does anyone get it?). Well, yeah. You reach with your right hand, and the apple in your armpit drops. I’m not sure if there is any significance to the protagonist being a bear. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/57 "2008-12-19T19:53:12Z")
> [@welby](#): > > Interestingly, long enough that I posted the joke [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=173000&highlight=joke) and asked for answers. > > "A Jew comes home and gets into bed beside his wife. Suddenly he hears a scratching noise under the bed. The Jew reaches his hand under the bed and say 'Is that you, Fido?'and Fido licks his hand and says ‘Yes, it’s me.’ > > It was roughly 4 minutes before someone posted the answer and simultaneously pointed out my dumb at the same time. Reminds me of this song > **[Our Goodman / Four Nights Drunk / Coming Home Late / Shickered As He Could Be...](https://mainlynorfolk.info/steeleye.span/songs/ourgoodman.html)** And yeah, it took me many years to make any sense of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/58 "2008-12-19T20:53:21Z")
> [@](#): > > "A greedy old bear is picking fruit up in a tree. He picks one apple with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He picks another with his right paw and puts it under his left arm. He reaches up for a third with his left paw and puts it under his right arm. He reaches for a fourth with his right arm and puts it under his left arm. (Apparently, you keep telling the joke this way until your audience laughs. BTW, does anyone get it?). They used this joke on Futurama once. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/59 "2008-12-19T20:55:55Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Well, yeah. You reach with your right hand, and the apple in your armpit drops. > > I’m not sure if there is any significance to the protagonist being a bear. That’s what I assumed, too. It didn’t sound too funny and I’m not Chinese, so I figured there must be more to it. When did they use it on “Futurama”? ETA: Do you mean the gag of Bender putting his arms back on? ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712/60 "2008-12-19T21:21:47Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > A really lame one from a '50s-era joke book that I read as a kid: > > Teacher: “Use the following words in a sentence: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.” > Student: “Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.” > > One day, maybe 20 years later, I suddenly got it. This was one of my dad’s favorite jokes. His sentence was “deduct went over defense defeat before detail.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-longest-its-taken-you-to-get-a-joke/477712.md?page=4)