# What's the maddest conspiracy theory you've heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703 "2015-06-05T13:36:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/41 "2015-06-05T23:18:18Z")
It’s not floridly entertaining like belief in shape-shifting lizards. But for my money, the most batshit insane (and quite widespread) conspiracy theory involves the entire medical establishment/health care industry suppressing cheap, safe, 100% effective natural cures for cancer and serious chronic diseases. Millions of health care workers around the world, all of them susceptible or actually suffering from these diseases, with loved ones and friends similarly susceptible or afflicted, but the massive conspiracy/coverup of alternative cures continues because Filthy Pharma Lucre is just too good to pass up, even if you’re dead. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/42 "2015-06-05T23:20:14Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > It’s not floridly entertaining like belief in shape-shifting lizards. But for my money, the most batshit insane (and quite widespread) conspiracy theory involves the entire medical establishment/health care industry suppressing cheap, safe, 100% effective natural cures for cancer and serious chronic diseases. > > Millions of health care workers around the world, all of them susceptible or actually suffering from these diseases, with loved ones and friends similarly susceptible or afflicted, but the massive conspiracy/coverup of alternative cures continues because Filthy Pharma Lucre is just too good to pass up, even if you’re dead. The people who believe this tend to be the same ones who don’t believe in vaccines, and advocate hemp oil as a cure-all for everything. Hemp oil does have its uses, but folks, it’s not that simple. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/43 "2015-06-05T23:48:54Z")
> [@The\_Angry\_Badger](#): > > I don’t know if you’ve seen this one before, but [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsdeAF_Prfo) is brilliant in its nutbar insanity and complete disregard for physics. > [@Mangetout](#): > > If you like that, you’ll like this: [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=\_c6HsiixFS8](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8) Very entertaining. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Angry\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@The\_Angry\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Angry_Badger)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2015, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/44 "2015-06-05T23:51:01Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you like that, you’ll like this: [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=\_c6HsiixFS8](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8) Well clearly that’s the Illuminati sending a coded message about how the gays are going to cause the downfall of the USA. It’s kind of obvious when you think about it. Also, antichrist something something Obama. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/45 "2015-06-06T00:06:38Z")
That any govt hides alien crafts/bodies. Illuminati Alien bases on the moon and the _fake_ NASA photo’s that they blurred out…etc. Nasa has a warp drive CIA has a heart attack gun capable of causing someone a heart attack…possible perhaps I guess. There is one theory that I believe to be true…that the American govt is completely paranoid with irrational fears. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/46 "2015-06-06T00:56:20Z")
> [@The\_Angry\_Badger](#): > > ‘[Fifty Shades of Grey predicts the fall of the United States (and is backed by the Illuminati)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4aVrvHKn80&feature=youtu.be)’ Yeah, that one is ludicrous… Just because millions of people just somehow inexplicably love a poorly written Twilight fanfic about an abusive relationship… … Hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/47 "2015-06-06T01:45:24Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The people who believe this tend to be the same ones who don’t believe in vaccines, and advocate hemp oil as a cure-all for everything. Hemp oil does have its uses, but folks, it’s not that simple. My impression has been that people who subscribe to this one are emotionally conflating _scientific + everything else_ complex = steps away from Christianity/God = secular _government + whatever_ complex suppressing alternative approaches to medicine, lifestyle, entertainment, and everything previously dominated by religion. Therefore it’s a conspiracy to persecute the faithful. [Faithful to Christ, Crystals, Essential Oils, Pyramids, whatever.] _sigh_ More locally, probably not so universally known, but overheard from my coworker’s phone call to his friend in Ohio (therefore it might be repeated in a tavern near you quite soon!): Recently, a pipeline in Santa Barbara County was discovered to have been leaking and officials calculated that thousands of gallons of crude oil had made its way to the local ravines, rivulets, and water supply (possibly including all the way back to the beach, miles away). My coworker’s theory is that radical environmentalists were the culprits. Why? Wouldn’t that be counter to their cause? Actually, it’s not counter to their long-term cause; they will do absolutely anything and go to any lengths to suppress industrial efforts, including sabotaging the local oil pipe to make it pollute the environment in the short term (then call media attention to it) so that the oil industry looks bad and will not be allowed to set up additional oil derricks off the coastline – any coastline – with the ‘2015 disaster’ in Santa Barbara used as an exemplary argument against additional drilling. Because Deepwater Horizon wasn’t argument enough?:smack: –G! I know some people will ask why I’m using the colors. I get those complaints every so often here. In this case, I’m using the brown to indicate the theory is full of $#!+ ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/48 "2015-06-06T01:52:29Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > I have a soft spot in my heart for the “President invokes martial law, enforced by U.N. troops in silent helicopters with all the signs and fencing and stuff stored neatly in Wal-Marts all over the country.” I like it because 1) it’s been going on for at least 30 years, and it doesn’t matter who’s President b) helicopters are pretty damn loud and c) with all the people in this country who work at and shop at Wal-Mart, no one has ever seen all the stuff that’s supposedly being stored there. Yea, the whole secret FEMA camps/ Prez preparing to declare martial law/ UN takeover. stuff was just garden variety crazy 30 years ago. But it gets a little crazier every year, since you have to believe that the gov’t is not only planning some nefarious genocidal plan, but that they’ve been doing the basic prep work for decades without actually getting around to all the actual evil stuff yet. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/49 "2015-06-06T01:56:52Z")
The government covering up the car that runs on water. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/50 "2015-06-06T02:15:32Z")
ISTM that the CTs get more elaborate every year. 50 years ago “President in cahoots with Mafia” was enough. Now there’s all sorts of baroque complications and plots within plots. With ever lessening connections to sensible motivations. IOW, we ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. The CTs of the 2020s will make the stuff upthread seem tame. I can hardly wait. :smack::eek::dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/51 "2015-06-06T02:39:21Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > … > > Recently, a pipeline in Santa Barbara County was discovered to have been leaking and officials calculated that thousands of gallons of crude oil had made its way to the local ravines, rivulets, and water supply (possibly including all the way back to the beach, miles away). > My coworker’s theory is that radical environmentalists were the culprits. > Why? Wouldn’t that be counter to their cause?.. You would think so, but ardent environmentalists do shit like this. Here’s a [whacko](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiebo_Ludwig) in Canada. > [@](#): > > In April 2000 Ludwig was convicted and sentenced to 28 months in jail.[1] He was convicted of five offenses, including blowing up one well, vandalizing another by pouring concrete into it, and counseling an undercover police officer to buy dynamite. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/52 "2015-06-06T02:45:15Z")
Vaccines cause autism President \_\_\_ is going to suspend the next election and declare that he’s going to continue to be our dear leader for life (have heard for both W Bush and Obama) Ebola was created by the US government because we hate black people I used to think that the government spying on the internet usage of US citizen was out there, but now… ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/53 "2015-06-06T02:46:16Z")
OJ was framed for murder because he was in a movie called Capricorn One and that movie proved that NASA faked the moon landing. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b782af/32.png) [@Why\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_Child)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/54 "2015-06-06T03:53:01Z")
Some of these beat this hands down, but the reason they put the little strips that say “100,” or “50” etc. in paper money has nothing to do with making it harder to counterfeit. It’s there so that the government can scan you with some kind of electronic reader and know how much money you have in your pocket! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/55 "2015-06-06T23:02:14Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Ebola was created by the US government because we hate black people The non-blacks who have gotten it over the years would probably have a few things to say about that. One of the American victims is of Asian descent, and a Cuban physician got it too. Both have recovered. There are also people who believe that Obama was responsible for the epidemic, although they’re never clear as to exactly how, and others who believe that the American patients were brought here to kick-start our own epidemic. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/56 "2015-06-06T23:04:17Z")
> [@Why\_Child](#): > > Some of these beat this hands down, but the reason they put the little strips that say “100,” or “50” etc. in paper money has nothing to do with making it harder to counterfeit. > > It’s there so that the government can scan you with some kind of electronic reader and know how much money you have in your pocket! I first heard of the electronic scanner 30-plus years ago. In this case, this person told me that bills of all denominations have some kind of special metal in them, and people drive around with scanners and point them at people’s houses to find out how much cash they have on hand. I didn’t believe it then, and don’t believe it now. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2015, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/57 "2015-06-06T23:27:52Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > The government covering up the car that runs on water. The [Amphicar](https://www.google.com/search?q=amphicar&client=safari&sa=X&rls=en&biw=1280&bih=688&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ei=X4FzVZO4L8G4sAWrqYL4BA&ved=0CCsQsAQ) (I also runs on land, but that doesn’t mean you put dirt in the gas tank.) ---
**Author:** ![Oglomott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oglomott/32/3543_2.png) [@Oglomott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oglomott)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2015, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/58 "2015-06-07T03:02:29Z")
Former co-worker was into CT’s big time\*. He asserted, among other things, the government blew up the WTC during 9/11 using planted explosives, and that the jets seen flying into them were 3D Holograms. And his favorite: Anyone who tries to debunk a CT is in on the conspiracy. \*I don’t know about the lizard people one, but it tops anything I have ever heard. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2015, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/59 "2015-06-07T03:18:35Z")
The lovely Flat Earthers occupy a special place in my heart. They’re a little forum on the outskirts of the web that seem to honestly believe NASA is lying to us and the world is, well, flat. Their reasoning is . . . uh . . . despite spending way to much time browsing there, I’ve never actually wrapped my head around it. Something about bending lightwaves and fish-eye cameras. Now, I don’t doubt a significant percentage of them are just trolls, but there has to be a couple guys who buy into it. Also, members there call people who disagree with them “Roundearthers,” which sounds like they’re calling you fat. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703/60 "2015-06-07T03:19:52Z")
> [@Oglomott](#): > > And his favorite: Anyone who tries to debunk a CT is in on the conspiracy. There must be a term for this fallacy - Poisoning the Well? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-maddest-conspiracy-theory-youve-heard/721703.md?page=4)