# What's the manliest weapon? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259 "2014-04-03T15:45:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/21 "2014-04-03T16:50:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Mace and chain. Not just any mace and chain, but the one that’s as big as a Mack truck wielded by the Witch King against Eowyn in Return of the King. Scene [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ_-rmuPZC4) (you first see the mace at about 1:10). ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/22 "2014-04-03T16:53:28Z")
The manliest weapon is whatever the holder has that s/he wields with the greatest skill. A slingshot would work if the shooter is deadly with it. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/23 "2014-04-03T17:01:12Z")
[The General Electric XM-214 5.56mm rotary barrel minigun.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_lnq0HYBQE) Normally mounted on a helicopter or truck, stepping into action with this bad boy will turn you into a sexual tyrannosaurus. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/24 "2014-04-03T17:28:03Z")
Testicles might not be the most manly weapon but if you could beat another man to death using only your testicles you should answer any question of WHO is most manly. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/25 "2014-04-03T17:29:37Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > As others have mentioned, dicks of course. A true pissing contest. Nothing beats a powerful stream. Nothing says manly quite so much as whipping it out and going pee wherever. Especially if I can talk my opponent into trying to hit an electric fence. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/26 "2014-04-03T17:30:54Z")
I think I read something somewhere about “the penis mightier than the sword”. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/27 "2014-04-03T17:45:41Z")
A flail made from former opponents’ penises. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/28 "2014-04-03T17:46:22Z")
Thermonuclear device, the only way to be sure ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/29 "2014-04-03T17:58:10Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > A flail made from former opponents’ penises. This is pretty good, and improved by driving nails through them. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/30 "2014-04-03T18:24:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > This is pretty good, and improved by driving nails through them. Your own penis, with nails driven through it, used as a flail seems even manlier to me. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/31 "2014-04-03T18:26:24Z")
See, this is one of the benefits of being a woman. I never have to worry about the manliness of my weapons. I don’t sit around considering how it might impact my social appearance or if the knife or mace dispenser or gun or tank or whatever I selected has little brass balls on the handle or not. I simply select them based upon what I think will be most effective against the designated targets. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/32 "2014-04-03T18:27:47Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > This is pretty good, and improved by driving nails through them. Broken shards of their own teeth, originally used to cut the penises off. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Ektar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Captain\_Ektar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Ektar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/33 "2014-04-03T18:30:13Z")
1. felling axe 2. sledgehammer 3. machete ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/34 "2014-04-03T18:40:07Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > [The General Electric XM-214 5.56mm rotary barrel minigun.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_lnq0HYBQE) Normally mounted on a helicopter or truck, stepping into action with this bad boy will turn you into a sexual tyrannosaurus. What is that, 10 minutes of the same 10-second set of clips repeated over and over? Who watches stuff like that? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/35 "2014-04-03T18:40:29Z")
> [@Mr\_Quatro](#): > > The tongue Anyone who thinks the tongue is the manliest weapon has never been in an argument with a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/36 "2014-04-03T18:47:45Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Anyone who thinks the tongue is the manliest weapon has never been in an argument with a woman. I dunno – use a tongue skillfully on a woman and she will be reduced to a quivering jellyfish in a few seconds. Though the same could be said of me. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/37 "2014-04-03T18:48:48Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > What is that, 10 minutes of the same 10-second set of clips repeated over and over? … It took me about 5 minutes to figure that out! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/38 "2014-04-03T18:54:48Z")
I don’t know guys, my dick is the last part of my body I’d use as a weapon. As formidible as it would appear to be, giving me far more reach than most hand-held weapons, I’m not risking it getting damaged in a fight. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/39 "2014-04-03T18:56:31Z")
Swiss army knife ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/40 "2014-04-03T19:01:34Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > See, this is one of the benefits of being a woman. I never have to worry about the manliness of my weapons. I don’t sit around considering how it might impact my social appearance or if the knife or mace dispenser or gun or tank or whatever I selected has little brass balls on the handle or not. I simply select them based upon what I think will be most effective against the designated targets. I’m not a woman, but I agree with you about that. Personally, I think ‘manliness’ is a ridiculous concept. Masculine/feminine I can go with, that can apply to either gender in different situations. As an answer to the OP, if you’re a pool player, [this $150,000 cue](http://www.mcdermottcue.com/mcdermott_intimidator.php) doubles nicely to both play and kick ass with. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=3)