# What's the manliest weapon? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259 "2014-04-03T15:45:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/61 "2014-04-03T23:05:51Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > But then I thought, “No, that fails to consider technological advantages that the opponent may have.” But the James Bond movies I’ve liked didn’t have him beating the bad guys with brute force or martial artistry. He beat his opponents by out-smarting them and/or thinking outside the box. He once through a toaster into a bathtub, and said, “Shocking!” Beating someone to the snow plow on a train, he remarked, “He had a lot of guts.” ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/62 "2014-04-03T23:40:17Z")
His authority and strength of character. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/63 "2014-04-03T23:55:16Z")
Fresh fruit. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/piWCBOsJr-w/hqdefault.jpg "Monty Python - Self-Defense Against Fruit") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/64 "2014-04-04T00:32:55Z")
> [@Ostrya](#): > > Swiss army knife I’d probably say Leatherman, but yeah, its the thinking man’s weapon. Still, for total un-adulterated rage? A 12-lb club hammer with a hole drilled into the end of the handle. Through it? A leather strap lashed to your wrist. " I…I paid extra… that glass is bullet-proof!" “Call Customer Service…” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/65 "2014-04-04T01:11:47Z")
[Dildo bat](http://saintsrow.wikia.com/wiki/The_Penetrator). ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/66 "2014-04-04T01:20:50Z")
Bottle of Hai Karate. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/67 "2014-04-04T01:52:32Z")
[This bad boy… for only $1800.](http://rmcustomknives.com/WalterBrendHatchet.html) ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/68 "2014-04-04T01:54:28Z")
[The Ultimate Tactical Katana](http://albion-swords.com/april-1-2014.htm) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/69 "2014-04-04T01:59:23Z")
> [@Doyle](#): > > [Battle Axe](http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/5/1/2/5/0/webimg/363872131_tp.jpg) That term used to refer to tough older women. That works. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/70 "2014-04-04T02:42:45Z")
Naps. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/71 "2014-04-04T04:42:25Z")
Fists Hands and feet. John Wayne or Bruce Lee. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/72 "2014-04-04T05:16:09Z")
The jagged edge of a broken testosterone bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/73 "2014-04-04T05:37:08Z")
I know how Red Forman would answer the question. Bob Pinciotti too. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/74 "2014-04-04T05:44:38Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I know how Red Forman would answer the question. Bob Pinciotti too. A foot? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/75 "2014-04-05T02:42:07Z")
True story: I was going through security at a courthouse a couple of weeks ago and showed the security guard my badge. He looked it over and respectfully asked “are you armed, sir?” I calmly replied “just with these,” and kissed each of my biceps. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/76 "2014-04-05T03:12:47Z")
Irish Whiskey ---
**Author:** ![ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisUsernameIsForbidden)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/77 "2014-04-05T03:50:13Z")
Anything phallic. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/78 "2014-04-05T05:25:58Z")
> [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](#): > > Anything phallic. Anything phallic that isn’t an actual phallus is just compensating. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/79 "2014-04-05T10:10:00Z")
Attempting a semi-serious, non-phallic answer to the question, but I think it depends on the era/timeframe and context of the weapon’s use. Let’s be honest here, I think we can all agree it would take balls of Damascus Steel to go charging into battle wielding a sword (be it a Gladius, Longsword, Claymore or Katana) against people also weilding swords, flails, spears and the like. However, if you’re wielding a sword and your opponents have guns then your actions will probably only be considered manly if you win. My suggestion for the thread would be a Victorian/Edwardian-era elephant gun - designed for use at close range against genuinely dangerous game like tigers, lions, rhinocerous, hippos and, of course, elephant - with none of these shenanigans involving telescopic sights and ranged engagement. A traditional elephant gun is chambered for a massive cartridge (.500 Nitro Express, for example) and you’ve got one - maybe two - shots to work with. Even hitting your target does not guarantee it will go down, especially if your shot placement is off the mark. Further, the recoil from such a gun is fierce - enough to knock an untrained shooter backwards. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/80 "2014-04-05T12:43:29Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I believe the traditional choice is the sword, since it requires both strength and skill to use. You have to define it a little more. A smallsword/court sword or rapier relies upon speed and skill more than strength, and can be wielded very effectively by a woman. When I get back into training form there are not many men who can beat me at smallsword. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=5)