# What's the manliest weapon? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259 "2014-04-03T15:45:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/81 "2014-04-05T19:53:41Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Naps. Loaded diapers or sleeping? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/82 "2014-04-05T20:41:13Z")
Regarding “manly”, the key requirements must be something: 1. Inherently phallic, 2. Excessive, noisy and violent; and 3. Looks awesome with bulging muscles, glistening sweat & clenched teeth. Therefore the answer is, hands down, the minigun. (See [Exhibits A](http://predatorpongleague.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/mac1.jpg), [B](http://www.scenariodreams.com/images/minigun/minigun_action3.jpg), [and C.](http://www.freakygaming.com/gallery/action_games/unreal_tournament_3/minigun.jpg)) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/83 "2014-04-05T22:19:11Z")
Conan could be holding a water pistol in [this painting](http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/14/145524/2410003-conan_the_barbarian.jpg) and it would be the most manly weapon. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/84 "2014-04-06T00:28:04Z")
.50 BMG rifle. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/85 "2014-04-06T00:45:26Z")
A truly manly weapon is ridiculously oversized and yet you’re badass enough to wield it to devastating effect. The rotary minigun certainly counts. Another example is [Hercules’s club](http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_small/8/80111/2285787-hercules19.jpg). No mere cudgel this, it’s basically a log with one end trimmed enough to fit your hand. A modern equivalent was [Sheriff Buford’s 4x4](http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/33/96/12/0004339612962_500X500.jpg). If you can shoot a [sawed-off pistol grip 12 gauge shotgun one-handed](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ZuM08DWKto/UQ74sVS14II/AAAAAAAAWfM/6GMBOt6OhPI/s1600/mad_max_ver2.jpg), that’s manly too. There are other manly weapons. Weapons that suggest you not only dish out punishment on a regular basis, but in super-size servings as well. Brass knuckles certainly send a message. So does a sufficiently [cruel-looking mace](http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608017006703414603&pid=1.7). What they may lack in size they more than make up for in bodily harm. But that is not to say that the manliness of a weapon is measured by its overkill alone. James Bond’s sheer coolness made the Walther PPK renowned. Zorro and Indiana Jones showed what a bullwhip can do in the hands of a real man. Mike Hammer made the 1911 .45 the hardboiled detective’s gun, as simple and blunt as a punch in the face. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/86 "2014-04-06T01:03:23Z")
Knives and other edged weapons: can certainly be manly but they have to meet certain parameters. In general a manly knife is one that implies the wielder is conversant enough with blades to appreciate the design features- but too elaborate a knife just makes you look like a poser. Not manly: [http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608048518879445836&pid=1.7](http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608048518879445836&pid=1.7) Manly: [http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608033353354511205&pid=1.7](http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608033353354511205&pid=1.7) Not manly: [http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-54334793715728\_2269\_530873390](http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-54334793715728_2269_530873390) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/87 "2014-04-06T01:55:15Z")
(Is anyone else thinking this is the equivalent of defining femininity by lingerie? Is this annoying any men?) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/88 "2014-04-06T02:15:03Z")
> [@j666](#): > > (Is anyone else thinking this is the equivalent of defining femininity by lingerie? Is this annoying any men?) I don’t think that, and I don’t find it annoying. And your logic is off, this is not defining masculinity by weapons, it’ defining weapons by masculinity. Men think there are many ways masculinity can be reflected besides weapons, just as there are many way femininity can be reflected besides lingerie. ---
**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/89 "2014-04-06T02:21:38Z")
I choose the 4,5 or 6 D cell Maglite brand flashlight. It is one the most effective bludgeons available. And after I’m finished, I can turn it on and see who it was that I just clubbed into unconsciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/90 "2014-04-06T06:55:42Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Knives and other edged weapons: can certainly be manly but they have to meet certain parameters. In general a manly knife is one that implies the wielder is conversant enough with blades to appreciate the design features- but too elaborate a knife just makes you look like a poser. I would argue, then, that in this guy’s hands the [nine-dragon trident](http://goldeneaglemac.com/ninedragon.html) is pretty manly. I’ve boasted around here that I do a lot of things with a lot of different blades (I can even cook! :D) but with that in my hands, I’ll just look like a poser. —G!:eek: Better See if you’re holding The Wrong Edge of the Blade! …–Steve Perry …_Edge of the Blade_ …Frontiers ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/91 "2014-04-06T14:12:05Z")
My choice, and one of my rifles - Marlin 336er lever action carbine chambered in .356 Win. It’s pretty rare. More of a mortar than a rifle 😃 [Marling 336er](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marlin_Model_336) The page should be updated. It does not mention the .356 cartridge. > **[.356 Winchester](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.356_Winchester)** > > The .356 Winchester is a semi-rimmed, bottle-necked, centerfire rifle cartridge which was designed for use in lever-action rifles. It was developed concurrently with the .307 Winchester which acted as the parent cartridge. Both cartridges were introduced in 1982 in the then-new Model 94 XTR lever-action rifle. > The .356 Winchester was developed using the case similar to that of the .308 Winchester but which featured a semi-rimmed design so as to operate through a lever-action rifle. Hence the .35... ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/92 "2014-04-06T14:27:13Z")
> [@j666](#): > > (Is anyone else thinking this is the equivalent of defining femininity by lingerie? Is this annoying any men?) I am not offended. The thread is an amusing pastime for me, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/93 "2014-04-06T14:34:44Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Mace and chain. Nailed it in one. Honourable mention goes to [“Henry VIII’s walking stick”](http://www.myarmoury.com/view.html?features/pic_spot_combo33.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/94 "2014-04-06T14:37:18Z")
From when [cracked.com](http://cracked.com) made me laugh out loud. > [@](#): > > Jesus! Look at that thing: It’s like every gun in the world had sex with every other gun in the world, and then neglected the resulting love-child until it became psychotic and vowed revenge on everything. > > Read more: [The 6 Most Badass Weapons Ever Improvised in Battle | Cracked.com](http://www.cracked.com/article_19220_the-6-most-badass-weapons-ever-improvised-in-battle_p2.html#ixzz2y7J633vL) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/95 "2014-04-06T14:40:31Z")
> [@j666](#): > > (Is anyone else thinking this is the equivalent of defining femininity by lingerie? Is this annoying any men?) ehh. We’re just having fun. We all know that lingerie does not define a woman, and a weapon does not define a man. Now if you want to talk about pick-up trucks, that’s a whole 'nother mater 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/96 "2014-04-07T02:29:32Z")
Nuclear triad. This trillion ton dick makes all those other things look… flaccid. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/97 "2014-04-07T05:39:10Z")
[Punt Gun](http://www.stampede-entertainment.com/tremors4/weapons_of_tremors4.html#punt) (fired from the hip of course). ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/98 "2014-04-07T11:24:51Z")
> [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](#): > > Anything phallic. In that case, going by _actual historic weapons_, I’d vote for the [bollock dagger](http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=bollock+dagger&FORM=HDRSC2). It’s the emphatic codpiece of cutlery. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/99 "2014-04-07T21:36:36Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > [Dildo bat](http://saintsrow.wikia.com/wiki/The_Penetrator). [18"DHIBJD](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266235&highlight=blue+double) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259/100 "2014-04-07T21:51:03Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The correct answer is bare hands is the manliest weapon. Who’s more manly: a man who fights a lion with his bare hands or a man who fights a lion with a gun? A gun may be more effective but bare hands is more manly. I’ll go with this. Think of the Hulk or King Kong - literary representation of manliness at its core - and they both use their hands/fists for all their smashing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-manliest-weapon/685259.md?page=6)