# What's the most backhanded compliment you ever received? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636 "2008-11-01T21:58:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/21 "2008-11-02T22:02:41Z")
Online graduate class. One classmate is having trouble with one concept. I posted a simple analogy which seemed to help. Instructor (grade A bitch) then says to the whole class, “see? If Rigby can get it, anyone can!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/22 "2008-11-02T22:16:38Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Online graduate class. One classmate is having trouble with one concept. I posted a simple analogy which seemed to help. Instructor (grade A bitch) then says to the whole class, “see? If Rigby can get it, anyone can!” > :rolleyes: Wait until the next time Grade A Bitch is pregnant, and then post a group email. “See? if Grade A Bitch can get it, anyone can!” Make sure you’re out of the class. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/23 "2008-11-04T00:15:01Z")
Not to me, but was there when it happened: At a family get together and I was commenting on how my husband bought me flowers recently. My sister turns to her husband (happily married 30 years+) and chastises him for never buying her flowers. My brother-in-law is a soft spoken, gentle man. He goes on to say that florist shop flowers are full of pesticides and doesn’t want to exposure her to those toxins. He then pops out this gem, and moves forever into family history: “If I showed you how I really felt about you, you’d be dead” ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/24 "2008-11-04T00:40:06Z")
Yes, I recently got the first “You know, you’re good-looking for an older woman!” remark. I’m 52, so I knew it was coming eventually, but it still stung. I refrained from telling that young woman what I thought, which was “And you look precisely like Ugly Betty on a bad hair day.” ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/25 "2008-11-04T00:44:23Z")
My business partner (a dude) and I (a chick) were on the phone with a guy who owns his own graphic design business and one of his employees (a chick). The owner dude asked about possibly doing something and I said “oh yeah, that’s all taken care of. Me and [his employee chick] did that last week.” His answer was “Hah, wow. Well, we don’t give these girls enough credit do we [my male business partner’s name]?” I _think_ he meant it as a compliment, but even several years later we still call him “the sexist pig.” hehe ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/26 "2008-11-04T01:01:52Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Not to me, but was there when it happened: > > At a family get together and I was commenting on how my husband bought me flowers recently. My sister turns to her husband (happily married 30 years+) and chastises him for never buying her flowers. My brother-in-law is a soft spoken, gentle man. > > He goes on to say that florist shop flowers are full of pesticides and doesn’t want to exposure her to those toxins. He then pops out this gem, and moves forever into family history: > > “If I showed you how I really felt about you, you’d be dead” :::snerk::: One hopes your BIL followed up with the same line that ended post # 6. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/27 "2008-11-04T01:03:06Z")
didn’t read any other replies before posting this, sure I’m not first “you don’t look that old” ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/28 "2008-11-04T01:09:16Z")
I was told recently by a co-worker “Hey, I had no idea you were funny!”. Thanks? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/29 "2008-11-04T01:40:25Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > :::snerk::: > One hopes your BIL followed up with the same line that ended post # 6. Hah! We all burst out laughing and laughed so hard for so long that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise. He was embarrassed, poor dear, wanted to just move on. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/30 "2008-11-04T05:05:38Z")
Background: I worked at the Southern CA Ren Faire for about 15 years, starting when I was 18. My second year working Faire, I joined a street acting troupe that also has a stage show. One of the characters in the show is named “Chastity Sweetmeat” and is, as one would suppose, a pretty, blonde, brainless, bimbo. So the director was looking at this year’s troupe and trying to figure out who to cast into which roles. He looked at me and said, ruminantly, “Hmm. She’s _almost_ pretty enough to play Chastity.” -\_-;;; Never, ever tell a girl that she’s “almost” pretty enough for ANYTHING. I stayed with that troupe for seven years. I learned all the parts in that show, and performed all of them…except to this day, I refuse to play Chastity. We once had almost every girl in the troupe absent, and I was the only one who knew the part well, but I still wouldn’t play it. Because, you know, I’m just not _quite_ pretty enough. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/31 "2008-11-04T05:32:36Z")
A co-worker asked me last month how I managed to get a boyfriend so fast after my seperation from my husband, since I was 46. And such a good-looking man, too—he could have anyone!:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/32 "2008-11-05T14:43:31Z")
I was told that i was a Bloody good bloke for a whitey. Once I was with a girl I knew and liked and used to flirt with a lot when she said “We really get on together dont we?” And with out thinking I said “Yes I’ve always thought that plainer girls have much better personalities then the goodlooking ones” She refused to speak to me for the rest of the night but strangely enough we did end up being an item for a while. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/33 "2008-11-05T15:12:56Z")
Back when I was in Parochial School, the Sister Superior, our Principal, abruptly turned to me as she walked past all of us, standing in line, and said: “[CalMeacham], you’re so smart you’re DUMB!” …then she turned and continued on. I’ve never understood that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/34 "2008-11-05T16:38:19Z")
I’ll post the same one as in the best compliment thread: “You’re very beautiful in the face” which to me = you’re fat. ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/35 "2008-11-05T17:17:46Z")
I was at a friend’s party helping the hostess wash dishes. I noticed that they had a dish drying contraption of very stylish design. I tell hostess: “You have a nice rack.” I immediately crumple to the ground. Everyone thought it was hilarious, including hostess. Thank goodness we are all good friends. The scary part for me was that I was not trying to make a joke. I was genuinely making a comment about her design taste. Had had a few prior to that, though, in my defense. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/36 "2008-11-05T17:28:37Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’ll post the same one as in the best compliment thread: > > “You’re very beautiful in the face” which to me = you’re fat. Before my husband and I hooked up, we were discussing my looks via IM and he said, ‘‘I think you have a very beautiful face.’’ I was crushed. Until he quickly added, ‘‘That’s not to imply anything negative about the rest of you. ;)’’ ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/37 "2008-11-05T17:55:27Z")
A young co-worker wanted to talk to me about my experience with having a kid. She wanted to talk to someone closer to her own age who had been through it. So we went for a walk and she said, “Well, on the one hand, I don’t wanna have a kid because, you know, I’m just…well, I’m hot. I really am. I don’t want to get all fat and disgusting and, you know - make my husband never want to come near me again.” Then she looked at me, looking at her with my eyebrows raised, and compounded it. “I mean, it’s not like you’re ugly. You’re really pretty. And, um, you lost all that weight. You look so much better. Not that you looked bad before.” As she dug herself deeper and deeper, she turned beet red. Then every time I saw her after that, she went out of her way to compliment me. I’ve got a couple zillion from my mom, but I won’t go into them. Too long and convoluted. I have to hold something back or no one will respect me in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/38 "2008-11-05T18:01:27Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > I noticed that they had a dish drying contraption of very stylish design. I tell hostess: “You have a nice rack.” I immediately crumple to the ground. Priceless. Upon discovering that I smoke, an employer’s bitchy wife told me “I thought you were smarter than that.” Uh, thanks? (My retort “And I thought you were a stealth bitch but I see you’re out and proud, aren’t you?” remained unspoken.) ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/39 "2008-11-05T18:32:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Not sure whether this is a backhanded compliment or a backhanded insult. I had just started seeing a guy, maybe 2-3 weeks earlier. We were in bed, just talking, and totally out of the blue he said to me, “You know, there’s nothing wrong with you that isn’t correctable.” I got something similar from the last guy I dated before I met my husband. Something along the lines of, “You could be really hot if you tried.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636/40 "2008-11-05T19:51:57Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > I was at a friend’s party helping the hostess wash dishes. I noticed that they had a dish drying contraption of very stylish design. I tell hostess: “You have a nice rack.” I immediately crumple to the ground. Everyone thought it was hilarious, including hostess. Thank goodness we are all good friends. The scary part for me was that I was not trying to make a joke. I was genuinely making a comment about her design taste. Had had a few prior to that, though, in my defense. During Scrabble, I often have to tell my best friend (male), Quit looking at my rack! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-backhanded-compliment-you-ever-received/470636.md?page=3)