# What's the most boring film you could show a child? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 5, 2025, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655 "2025-04-05T01:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/1 "2025-04-05T01:50:14Z")
A friend and I were watching **The Great Escape** recently, and their 10 year-old daughter joined us. I thought she wouldn’t enjoy the movie - she hasn’t yet learned about WWII, it has no female characters and lasts nearly three hours. But she actually stayed and watched the whole thing and even had us pause twice to ask questions. This is the same child, BTW, who got up and left in the middle of **The Matrix** , complaining it was dull. Maybe she found Steve McQueen hunky. So it got me thinking… Suppose you wanted to punish a child by making them watch a movie that would be utterly boring to them. Not inappropriate or scary, just of no interest whatsoever to a kid. But it has to be a “good” movie that might be enjoyed by grownups - not just a bad or mediocre film. And let’s say no experimental art films or surrealism. Just solid mainstream movies that your average child would hate. Looking through my collection I came upon **Barry Lyndon** but thought no, some kid might be interested in the costumes or dueling scenes. **12 Angry Men**? No, they might find it compelling and want to become a lawyer. So here’s what I’ve come up with: **Babette’s Feast** A Danish film about stodgy Protestant sectarians eating a fancy French dinner. Very slow, no action at all. **My Dinner with Andre** I thought of this one because of a joke in a Christopher Guest movie where they had kids’ lunchboxes made up featuring it. But it could work because virtually nothing happens besides watching two guys eat and talk. **Annie Hall** The humor is probably too subtle to engage a kid, but I’m not sure - there are some slapstick moments and stuff about growing up that they might find amusing. Help me out here - we’ve only got a couple more years before my friend’s daughter is old enough to sit through actual serious movies. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/2 "2025-04-05T01:57:46Z")
The Sound of Music ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/3 "2025-04-05T02:00:23Z")
Does it matter if it would also bore any adult in the room? Because my suggestion is _[Paint Drying](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint_Drying)_; ten hours and seven minutes of “a static view of white paint drying on a brick wall.” ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/4 "2025-04-05T02:00:29Z")
Just to get it out of the way, _The Day the Clown Cried_ ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/5 "2025-04-05T02:01:04Z")
Castaway. My niece despised it. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/6 "2025-04-05T02:07:54Z")
My Dinner with André. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/7 "2025-04-05T02:13:39Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > **Annie Hall** > The humor is probably too subtle to engage a kid, but I’m not sure - there are some slapstick moments and stuff about growing up that they might find amusing. And a whole animated scene based on _Snow White_! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/8 "2025-04-05T02:18:33Z")
_Mulholland Drive_. I doubt many children would enjoy a sluggish “surrealist neo-noir mystery art film” (I may be prejudiced, because I thought it stank). And I’ll bet few kids today could tolerate the original (1962) version of _The Manchurian Candidate_. I saw it in the theater as a child with my parents, and was bored as hell (much of it probably was incomprehensible or went over my head). ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/9 "2025-04-05T02:18:41Z")
There’s way more boring films for a kid than this, but nobody here will have seen them. But, for a film that everyone knows, but would certainly bore most kids to tears, try: _Citizen Kane_. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/10 "2025-04-05T02:30:13Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > But, for a film that everyone knows, but would certainly bore most kids to tears, try: > _Citizen Kane_. Bored me so much I didn’t make it past about 15 minutes, and I was over 50 at the time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/11 "2025-04-05T02:30:58Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Does it matter if it would also bore any adult in the room? > [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > But it has to be a “good” movie that might be enjoyed by grownups - not just a bad or mediocre film. And let’s say no experimental art films or surrealism. Does that last condition rule out _2001: A Space Odyssey_? Bonus points if the title makes kids think they’re getting a sci-fi action adventure in the vein of _Star Wars_. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/12 "2025-04-05T02:36:24Z")
This isn’t a movie, but when I was a kid my mom would watch the CBS news on sunday morning and it was unbearable. So maybe something like that. A movie where people talk about complex adult subjects that go over the head of a kid. No action, no comedy, no good looking people. Just complex discussions that won’t make sense to a kid. I’m sure that’s like watching people speak chinese for an hour. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/13 "2025-04-05T02:37:24Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Does that last condition rule out _2001: A Space Odyssey_? I considered that one too, but worried that if they made it past the opening ape-man segment, they just might be interested in the space scenes, slow though they are. The Sound of Music was mentioned earlier and I’m very concerned that kids would enjoy the singing of Julie Andrews and overall family-ness of the movie. Even an old black and white like **Double Indemnity** strikes me as risky because if they manage to understand the premise, a kid could actually enjoy that one. Let’s not take any chances with this - I really want to make some kids reliably suffer for a good 90-120 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/14 "2025-04-05T02:59:48Z")
As a teen, I actually fell asleep in the theater during either _Out of Africa_ or _A Passage to India_. Don’t remember which and I’m not inclined to find out. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/15 "2025-04-05T03:07:28Z")
When I was in 7th grade (I was 12 that year, some classmates turned 13 during that school year), my class (very small school) went to see “On Golden Pond”. I’m amazed I stayed awake, and still can’t figure out why the teacher thought this was a good choice for that age group. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/16 "2025-04-05T03:10:24Z")
My kids would drop off at any musical. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/17 "2025-04-05T03:30:23Z")
Berlin Alexanderplatz. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/18 "2025-04-05T03:46:20Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > A friend and I were watching **The Great Escape** recently, and their 10 year-old daughter joined us. I thought she wouldn’t enjoy the movie - she hasn’t yet learned about WWII, it has no female characters and lasts nearly three hours. But she actually stayed and watched the whole thing and even had us pause twice to ask questions. _The Great Escape_ is an extremely well-paced movie with just enough quiet intervals to punctuate the ingenuity, conflict, and drama. It is the antithesis of boring despite the length and more classical staging, and collects together many of the best male actors working in films in that period playing expertly developed and characters. And while it is set during WWII and loosely based on an actual escape, you really don’t nee to know any of that; essentially everything you need to know in terms of setting and backstory is presented in the film (which is good because there are a number of things that are anachronistic and ahistorical in the film). Also, I do not get people who think that _Citizen Kane_ is a boring film; it moves along at a brisk and sometimes frenetic pace. It slows at the end because, well. so does Kane, but it literally jumps through the epic and tragic scope of a media tycoon’s life in under two hours. > [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > Let’s not take any chances with this - I really want to make some kids reliably suffer for a good 90-120 minutes. _The Bridges of Madison County_; I don’t know how this film got made, I can’t comprehend why Eastwood elected to waste such talent on this inane story, I don’t understand what compelled it to be 2 hours and 14 minutes long, and I cannot fathom why critics and viewers liked it so much. Just so much “why” about this dumb movie about people I could not bring myself to give a shit about. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/19 "2025-04-05T04:02:58Z")
My parents took me to see _Gandhi_ (3h 11min) when I was 8 years old. I was not pleased. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/20 "2025-04-05T04:07:13Z")
My dad miscalculated and took us to 2001 Space Odyssey when we were all under ten. Although I loved Westerns, My Darling Clementine bored me, mainly because John Ford inserted scenes to set the tone rather than simply advance the plot. That leads me to suspect that my attention span and depth has been set by Looney Tunes and Little Rascals. Today’s kids might be entirely different. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655.md?page=2)