# What's the most boring film you could show a child? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 5, 2025, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655 "2025-04-05T01:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/41 "2025-04-05T14:31:04Z")
Indeed, it’s tricky to pin down what kids find “boring”. For example, when I was a youngster, I found 2001: A Space Odyssey riveting, Barry Lyndon engrossing, and Annie Hall—had I been a bit younger—pretty hilarious. So, in that spirit, I’ll nominate The English Patient. Two hours of sand dunes, somber stares, and the most restrained romantic tension imaginable. No capes, no lightsabers—just maps, misery, and emotional suppression. Kids want action, not tea and tears. Watching these buttoned-up Brits fall in love is like drifting off during afternoon tea—slow, courteous, and very beige—it feels like a long, polite nap. Then again, maybe British kids would find it quite engaging. _Cheerio, pip pip, guv’nor!_ 😜🧐 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/42 "2025-04-05T14:45:55Z")
I’ll nominate Gus Van Sant’s [Gerry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerry_(2002_film)), which is basically just two guys wandering around lost in the desert. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/43 "2025-04-05T14:48:00Z")
It’s so odd and unpredictable. You just never know with kids. Mine didn’t like Star Wars. She was on the edge of her seat for Apollo 13. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/44 "2025-04-05T14:49:30Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > my attention span and depth has been set by Looney Tunes and Little Rascals. Today’s kids might be entirely different. I am afraid it only has gotten worse: today’s attention span is set by TikTok (30 seconds, tops). [Cite](https://www.honest-broker.com/p/whats-happening-to-students?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=296132&post_id=159140978&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=203721&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email). I guess you could bore a kid today with any clip lasting longer than five minutes. But to stay in the spirit of the OP I nominate from an [internet list of the best 100 movies ever](https://variety.com/lists/best-movies-of-all-time/city-lights-1931/) the movies that will bewilder and bore to catatony any child under 12: A Hard Day’s Night Pink Flamingos _(not sure about that one. Some kids are weird)_ Scenes From a Marriage Kramer vs Kramer Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles _(Ooooh, that would send a child into a coma!! That is the film the OP is looking for!)_ Brokeback Mountain Singin’ in the Rain All About Eve ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/45 "2025-04-05T15:10:48Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Exacty what I was going to suggest. I saw it when I was about 9, and I was bored to tears. I wanted spaceships, so what’s with all the damn monkeys? > > But I never forgot it. Years later, I’d seen it on TV, read the book, and come to appreciate what a great movie it is. For what it is worth, Kubrick intended for this film to be ‘boring’; he wanted to present space travel and exploration with the soul-draining tedium it would be in reality instead of the fictional, Age of Sail inspired space opera of _Star Trek_. The human characters are mostly bereft of emotion (Bowman finally shows some anger and frustration when HAL refuses to allow his pod back into _Discovery_’s hanger bay but otherwise the interaction between characters and in their interview is very flat and bureaucratic; even in the BBC interview Bowman and Poole seem to be giving almost scripted responses and HAL is the only one that seems engaged. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/46 "2025-04-05T15:23:52Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > This isn’t a movie, but when I was a kid my mom would watch the CBS news on sunday morning and it was unbearable. So maybe something like that. A movie where people talk about complex adult subjects that go over the head of a kid. No action, no comedy, no good looking people. > > Just complex discussions that won’t make sense to a kid. I’m sure that’s like watching people speak chinese for an hour. I remember a similar experience as a kid, although it wasn’t my mom making watch something. It was during the days of Iran-Contra, and I remember being irritated that the channels that normally showed my favorite cartoons were instead showing boring old guys with names like Oliver North and John Poindexter sit in front of a microphone and answer stupid questions. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/47 "2025-04-05T15:29:30Z")
Or not talking at all. Drove my niece batty. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/48 "2025-04-05T15:31:39Z")
koyaanisqatsi (the dialogues could be staight out of John Cale’s 4:33) ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/49 "2025-04-05T15:36:03Z")
Bergman’s _Persona_. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/50 "2025-04-05T15:36:31Z")
_Ladder Safety Training for non-Firefighters_ _Annual Underground Safety Training for non-Miners_ _Annual Fire Extinguisher TRaining for Administrative Workers_ All three are _still_ available on VHS from your local Department of Energy Training representatives. Tripler "Uncle Tripler . . . What’s “Vee Ehch Ess?” ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/51 "2025-04-05T15:39:54Z")
I loved this movie, but do think it’s a good suggestion for the thread. Children won’t have any life experiences to empathize with any of the characters. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/52 "2025-04-05T15:41:25Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > A movie where people talk about complex adult subjects that go over the head of a kid. No action, no comedy, no good looking people. > > Just complex discussions that won’t make sense to a kid. I’m sure that’s like watching people speak chinese for an hour. So, [_Conspiracy_](https://youtu.be/3XyGUYLolTA?si=tCv0Drx_c1Wqi8B7)? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/53 "2025-04-05T15:58:14Z")
Strictly within the parameters asked for, the first thing that came to mind was **Glengarry Glen Ross**. Lots of talking, mostly in a visually unimpressive office, and younger kids are probably not going to understand the nature of the business. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/54 "2025-04-05T16:31:32Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > Strictly within the parameters asked for, the first thing that came to mind was **Glengarry Glen Ross**. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/fdbcEK2eZA0/hqdefault.jpg "Muppet Glengarry Glen Ross - Medium.m4v") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdbcEK2eZA0) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/55 "2025-04-05T16:44:47Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Children won’t have any life experiences to empathize with any of the characters. On that note: Bujalski’s _Funny Ha Ha_. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/56 "2025-04-05T16:47:33Z")
Nice! That might just hold their attention. Although it does remind me that that movie has language adults might not feel is appropriate for kids. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/57 "2025-04-05T16:49:28Z")
Any woody Allen movie, boring inner monologues delivered with nasal whining and anal retentive navel gazing flapping about in frumpy clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/58 "2025-04-05T16:51:27Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Any woody Allen movie There was enough slapstick in his early stuff to entertain me as a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/59 "2025-04-05T16:53:43Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > Although it does remind me that that movie has language adults might not feel is appropriate for kids. You mean like, “Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers.”? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/60 "2025-04-05T16:53:49Z")
See also: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Mqv_qYBgEk0/hqdefault.jpg "Silent Strawberries - The Muppets") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqv_qYBgEk0) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655.md?page=4)