# What's the most boring film you could show a child? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 5, 2025, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655 "2025-04-05T01:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/101 "2025-04-06T11:28:56Z")
I think Melancholia (2011) would be a cinematic double whammy for kids: it’ll bore them stiff with its glacial pace and _melancholic_, artsy vibe, _and_ scare the bejeezus out of them with a doomsday plot about a mysterious rogue planet colliding with Earth. That’s a real two-fer if your parenting strategy involves punishing with equal parts extreme boredom and existential dread. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/102 "2025-04-06T11:57:37Z")
My vote is [Picnic at Hanging Rock](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picnic_at_Hanging_Rock_(film)). Very slow moving, and nothing really happens. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/103 "2025-04-06T12:28:38Z")
I ruled out Tarkovsky when the OP specified “mainstream” and “no experimental art films or surrealism.” But if he’s in the thread with **Andrei Rublev** , you have to consider pretty much his entire body of work. I’m particularly fond of **Stalker** , but that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/104 "2025-04-06T13:05:59Z")
I’ll see your _Picnic at Hanging Rock_ and raise you [_Walkabout_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walkabout_(film)). ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/105 "2025-04-06T13:34:37Z")
Just a minute, **Walkabout** has Jenny Agutter in the buff somewhere in there, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/106 "2025-04-06T13:44:45Z")
Technically, yes, but a distant shot IIRC, much further away than the poster would lead you to believe. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/107 "2025-04-06T13:46:16Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > **Annie Hall** _The Sorrow and the Pity_ (as it plays a role in _Annie Hall_). ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/108 "2025-04-06T13:49:26Z")
Four and a half hours, wasn’t it? Never seen it, but what about **QB VII**? ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/109 "2025-04-06T15:21:55Z")
Someone has beaten me to it but I want to mention **Lawrence of Arabia** Some amazing music and photography but is nearly four hours and they even had to throw in an actual musical interlude half way through. A youngish kid would be bored stiff. And there is… **Les Miserables** I’ve never fallen asleep in a cinema but this is the one that nearly caused me to break that duck. Unbelievably tedious (and soul-destroyingly downbeat) as an adult; I can’t imagine any child finding it otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/110 "2025-04-06T16:04:35Z")
I did! It had some helpful tips like: - **Wear/bring your shoes** in the event of a building evacuation - **Only use stairwells** for orderly evacuation - **Do not** evacuate to the roof unless ordered to by emergency personnel on scene Timeless tips for _any_ office environment. Tripler It wasn’t until one of my mountaineering courses that I got the “Fire Hose Expedient Rappelling” training. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/111 "2025-04-06T16:32:06Z")
You missed some: - when working with a multi-lingual team, provide instructions in English for clarity - ‘two is one and one is none’; keep a spare store of all mission-critical components in a second location - when negotiating a deal, bring something of value to the table besides yourself - always personally inspect the state of operation of equipment before attempting use - remove all jewelry before working with rotating machinery or being taken hostage Stranger ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/112 "2025-04-06T17:20:42Z")
I mentioned _ **Andrei Rublev** _ because it was on DPRK’s list. I don’t know if it was an experimental/art film in the Soviet Union, but it might have been. It certainly qualifies in terms of tediousness. When it comes to _ **Masterpiece Theatre** _, I nominate _ **Anna Karenina** _ as being the all-time winner in the sleep-inducing category. I hate the novel too. ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/113 "2025-04-06T17:26:24Z")
I think **The Spy Who Came In From The Cold** could bore any kid stupid. Even if you understand Cold War politics and espionage, it’s pretty much just talking and maneuvering. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/114 "2025-04-06T17:31:01Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I mentioned _ **Andrei Rublev** _ because it was on DPRK’s list. I don’t know if it was an experimental/art film in the Soviet Union, but it might have been. It certainly qualifies in terms of tediousness. I like it, but I can see the “tedious” criticism, so I won’t defend it. But I think Tarkovsky is best known (to the extent that he’s known), at least in the US of 2025, as an art-house filmmaker, even if someone wants to say “experimental” is arguable. There’s certainly further-out-there stuff than his. At any rate, I’d have to argue that he’s certainly not mainstream. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/115 "2025-04-06T17:44:13Z")
_ **A Dandy in Aspic** _ falls into the same category. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/116 "2025-04-06T17:55:52Z")
_ **QB VII** _ was made for TV and starred Ben Gazzara and Anthony Hopkins as the novelist and the physician, respectively. I quite liked it, but it took enormous liberties with the book. I recommend that anyone who wants to see the movie should read the book first. The movie, BTW, is quite long and was aired on at least two consecutive evenings when I saw it on British TV. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/117 "2025-04-06T18:23:23Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > _ **Rat Race** _ was marketed as a “remake” of _ **It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World** _, but I’ve never seen any similarity between the two except for the basic premise of a bunch of complete strangers chasing after a ton of money. In both cases the stars were mostly comedians. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/118 "2025-04-06T18:24:18Z")
I think _ **older** _ kids would find _Being There_ (1979) slower than a snail napping in molasses. Chance the Gardener (brilliantly played by Peter Sellers) doesn’t _do_ anything—he’s definitely no Iron Man. There’s no big journey, no transformation arc. He just is. The humor’s bone-dry, built entirely on grownups mistaking his plain talk about gardening for some kind of deep Zen insight. But to a kid, that just sounds like _“blah blah blah plants, blah blah blah dirt.”_ That said, _ **little kids** _—or perhaps even a few Dopers 😜—might actually vibe with Chance. He speaks slowly. He uses easy words. He talks about plants. He’s not dumb—just tuned into a different frequency. For young kids, he might come across like Mr. Rogers: _“Finally! Someone who talks my language”_ ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/119 "2025-04-06T18:36:26Z")
So what kind of awful thing did your kids do to deserve this kind of punishment? ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/120 "2025-04-06T18:37:18Z")
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