# What's the most boring film you could show a child? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [April 5, 2025, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655 "2025-04-05T01:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/141 "2025-04-07T18:24:21Z")
I am entirely certain **My Dinner With Andre** is some kind of inside adult joke I have never grown old enough to understand. That’s my pick. I did try **Stand and Deliver** with my 10 and 13 year old a year ago. They noped out of the math minute one. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/142 "2025-04-07T18:30:16Z")
**The Black Hole** (1979) “You’ve seen _Star Wars_, right!? This came out a year later and is like that only not any fun.” ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/143 "2025-04-07T18:40:45Z")
I think My Dinner With Andre is the clear thread winner, unless we decide it’s not “mainstream” enough. As WildaBeast said, though, any film with subtitles is going to have a big advantage here. Skimming IDMb’s 250 most popular films list, and looking only at the small minority of those films I’ve seen, I might go for another German film, The Lives of Others. It’s a film about the East German Stasi which I think is trying to illustrate Hannah Arendt’s point about the “banality of evil” by showing how much of their work was just spying on ordinary boring people and then having boring conversations about them. I think it’s an excellent psychological thriller, but would be completely unappealing to a child. It’s maybe not well known, but did have a theatrical release in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/144 "2025-04-07T18:44:02Z")
> [@dorvann](#): > > A bunch of 70’s sci fi films: > > **Logan’s Run** > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I just watched **Silent Running** a few days ago. > > I think kids might enjoy it. Similarly Logan’s Run is very kinetic. Plenty of running, chasing and shooting. That would probably appeal to many youngsters. Plus for a few the theme of an ever-young society. Solaris, Phase IV and Soylent Green in about that order from most to least are slower. Phase IV might work for the bug-obsessed, Soylent Green might hold attention long enough for the iconic ending. Maybe. Solaris…yeah, Solaris will lose them. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/145 "2025-04-07T18:45:34Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > I considered that one too, but worried that if they made it past the opening ape-man segment, they just might be interested in the space scenes, slow though they are. The Sound of Music was mentioned earlier and I’m very concerned that kids would enjoy the singing of Julie Andrews and overall family-ness of the movie. Even an old black and white like **Double Indemnity** strikes me as risky because if they manage to understand the premise, a kid could actually enjoy that one. > > Let’s not take any chances with this - I really want to make some kids reliably suffer for a good 90-120 minutes. The thing about The Sound of Music, which I recently rewatched, is that it would be a perfectly good 90-120 minute movie, but it lasts for _three hours._ Apparently length for the sake of length was considered a sign of great cinema in those days, so there are many scenes where characters just pace around and perhaps gaze out a window for minutes at a time. All the songs go on for a few more choruses than they needed to. It’s _really_ boring. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/146 "2025-04-07T18:47:49Z")
The Dead. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/147 "2025-04-07T18:50:17Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > I haven’t seen Das Boot, but I’m assuming the version available in America is in German with English subtitles. Beyond that, while the theatrical version was 149 minutes, the director’s cut is 208 minutes and the original uncut miniseries is 308 minutes. All in German with subtitles. You can bludgeon an American kid to death with that 😉. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/148 "2025-04-07T19:01:44Z")
> [@Thing.Fish](#): > > It’s maybe not well known, but did have a theatrical release in the US. Is it really so obscure in the US? “The Lives Of Others” won the Oscar for best foreign movie after all. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/149 "2025-04-07T19:13:19Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Similarly Logan’s Run is very kinetic. Plenty of running, chasing and shooting. That would probably appeal to many youngsters. Plus for a few the theme of an ever-young society. Didn’t it also have some brief partial nudity? That was enough for me to watch it as a kid. I also liked Soylent Green. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/150 "2025-04-07T19:31:44Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > However, there was always **Shake Hands with Danger** > > [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v26fTGBEi9E&pp=ygUXc2hha2UgaGFuZHMgd2l0aCBkYW5nZXI%3D](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v26fTGBEi9E&pp=ygUXc2hha2UgaGFuZHMgd2l0aCBkYW5nZXI%3D) Ha! I just watched that (again) on Friday (annual MSHA refresher). ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/151 "2025-04-07T19:35:02Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > When I was in 7th grade (I was 12 that year, some classmates turned 13 during that school year), my class (very small school) went to see “On Golden Pond”. I’m amazed I stayed awake, and still can’t figure out why the teacher thought this was a good choice for that age group. Weirdly, mine did too! The only other movie I ever remember being taken to in school was “Gandhi”, which has obvious educational value. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2025, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/152 "2025-04-07T20:24:19Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > I’ll second Castaway. What a waste of time. After my wife and I watched it I said to her “I didn’t know it would be in real-time” Do you mean the 2000 Tom Hanks film Cast Away? Because the compound-word version of the title is throwing me a bit, but I don’t know of any other major film by that name, so that’s how I interpreted it. In any case, if so, then I agree with you about not thinking the movie was particularly good or enjoyable, but I don’t know that I’d have called it “boring”. I mean, plane crash, dead pilot, survival, random flotsam supplies: a lot of stuff that kids would find immediately comprehensible and possibly intriguing. After all, kids used to read Robinson Crusoe, and that’s quite a slog IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/153 "2025-04-08T13:47:51Z")
My uncle insisted that I needed to watch Excalibur before being able to enjoy Monty Python’s Holy Grail; which is odd now realizing that it came out 5 years after the Python film. I was ~14 at the time and found it to be extraordinarily boring. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/154 "2025-04-08T14:02:20Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > > [@Tamerlane](#): > > > > Similarly Logan’s Run is very kinetic. Plenty of running, chasing and shooting. That would probably appeal to many youngsters. Plus for a few the theme of an ever-young society. > > Didn’t it also have some brief partial nudity? That was enough for me to watch it as a kid. I also liked Soylent Green. Oh, and there is a bit of an implied orgy. Teen Sitnam would have been paying attention for that part. Also chasing and some violence so almost a toned down **A Clockwork Orange**. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/155 "2025-04-08T14:11:06Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Also chasing and some violence so almost a toned down **A Clockwork Orange**. Now that is a film that wouldn’t bore a child, but traumatize. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/156 "2025-04-08T14:13:44Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > I haven’t seen it mentioned yet, so I’ll go with _The Thin Red Line_. It’s almost 3 hours long, and the trailer was incredibly misleading. I went in thinking it was going to be an alternative to _Saving Private Ryan_, since both had similar marketing. I thought it was going to be a another ‘_Band of Brothers_’ but in a Pacific theater setting. I was wromg: big time. ---
**Author:** ![We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/We_re_wolves_not_werewolves)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/157 "2025-04-08T14:34:10Z")
I would suggest _12 Angry Men_. A bunch of guys just talking ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/158 "2025-04-08T15:15:53Z")
Just gonna mention a lot of these movies would serve as punishment for adults also. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/159 "2025-04-08T16:37:23Z")
We tried to watch **The Master** in the cinema a few years ago but my friend and I were bored to tears so we left halfway through. I realise this may be a controversial opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Moris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moris/32/2846_2.png) [@Moris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2025, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655/160 "2025-04-09T22:58:35Z")
I fell asleep every time I’ve tried to watch The Godfather. And what about Solaris by Tarkovsky? That long camera shots of highways or Bruegel’s paintings - I doubt kids would appreciate symbolism. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-boring-film-you-could-show-a-child/1016655.md?page=9)