# What's the most difficult difference to get around in a relationship: a poll **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2010, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596 "2010-06-02T02:50:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/61 "2010-06-05T11:46:31Z")
I voted for “significantly less intelligent than me” because it’s the only thing I’ve ever initiated a breakup for in real life. He was such a great guy, and it took me a long time to realize it, but he just wasn’t smart. And I imagined having to explain things to him all throughout our lives. Over and over again. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/62 "2010-06-05T15:41:01Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > For me the flaw in the poll is that there is simply no way I could be attracted to someone who is significantly less intelligent than me. That person would have below average intelligence, perhaps severely below average. No matter how hot she looked, the moment I tried to engage with her intellectually she would lose all attractiveness to me. I have known women like this. > [@Cicero](#): > > I’d respectfully disagree here. You can adapt in terms of housekeeping and spending patterns; however you can’t make an unintelligent person smarter. (you can educate them to some degree of course). I guess I was considering what **Arrendajo** said. I can’t see how you’d be mid-relationship and it suddenly occur to you that the other party doesn’t have much going on upstairs. It would be a non-starter. But spending, that’s a whole 'nother story. One party likes to go out and drink, whereas the other would rather go to the theater. That sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/63 "2010-06-05T15:41:47Z")
Other - communication. I like to talk through things - things that go wrong or things that go right. I was engaged to a girl who just didn’t want to talk. Her approach to everything was to just ignore it and let it unfold. I broke it off and I’m very glad in retrospect I did. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/64 "2010-06-05T15:48:50Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > As a geek, I am very smart. My husband isn’t quite as book smart as me, but it’s not a gaping humongous difference. I couldn’t stand to be with someone who I had to explain everything to all the time. Give me a break. Geeks may be intelligent, but that doesn’t equate to being smart. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/65 "2010-06-05T15:51:18Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Give me a break. Geeks may be intelligent, but that doesn’t equate to being smart. And here I thought that ‘smart’ and ‘intelligent’ were synonyms. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/66 "2010-06-05T15:55:27Z")
Well you are wrong in my view. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596/67 "2010-06-05T16:08:07Z")
Given the wording of the poll, I chose “significantly less intelligent”. But if the religion question had said “significantly different” rather than just “different”, I would have chosen that. That is to say, I’m Catholic. If I met someone who was otherwise right for me and whom I would otherwise marry, but she was some other Christian denomination, I would convert, if she didn’t. I might even do so if she were Jewish or Muslim. But if she were atheist, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or most other religions, I’d call it off. > [@](#): > > Heh. There are two possibilities. Either most Dopers are incurably selfish and don’t even consider the torment of their more intelligent significant others’ having to put up with them, or else we simply can’t conceive of the latter option! I like socializing with people who are smarter than me. Now, if someone I was attracted to thought I just wasn’t smart enough for her, she’s perfectly free to avoid me for that reason, but that’s her call, not mine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-difficult-difference-to-get-around-in-a-relationship-a-poll/541596.md?page=3)