# What's the most jaw-droppingly tacky thing you can buy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 7, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070 "2007-01-07T18:55:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/41 "2007-01-08T01:35:55Z")
[QUOTE=sci\_girl] I think [this](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-116094001.jsp?_/_prod/_88/_/_/_1070&endeca=true&abbr=wl&FP1) tomahawk deserves a mention. Fitting four wolves, an indian and two eagles onto a single 12-inc piece of home decor results in a dangerously high cliche level. And with all the feathers and crap it looks like it was made from owl pellets. [/QUOTE] Collectibles Today vs. Thomas Kincaid. The ultimate tacky yet vaguely spiritual smackdown! ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/42 "2007-01-08T01:38:11Z")
[QUOTE=sci\_girl] I think [this](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-116094001.jsp?_/_prod/_88/_/_/_1070&endeca=true&abbr=wl&FP1) tomahawk deserves a mention. Fitting four wolves, an indian and two eagles onto a single 12-inc piece of home decor results in a dangerously high cliche level. And with all the feathers and crap it looks like it was made from owl pellets. [/QUOTE] It seems tacky to me as well but I wouldn’t want to judge or offend the Native Americans tribes whose vast culture flowed down through the centuries to culminate in such a traditional, treasured piece of functional artwork. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/43 "2007-01-08T02:10:58Z")
I hope I didn’t skip a post and miss one of these. [This,](http://cgi.ebay.com/JFK-SALT-PEPPER-SHAKER-SET-JAPAN-1962_W0QQitemZ140070104087QQihZ004QQcategoryZ13928QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) ladies and gentlemen, is the most tacky thing you can buy. I’m not certain whether it is the salt or the pepper that comes out of little holes in the back of President Kennedy’s head. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/44 "2007-01-08T02:11:57Z")
I own a Santa statue that has an NC State logo stamped on it. It sits on a wooden base with a little brass plaque that helpfully says “NC State Santa.” (I didn’t buy it; it’s a gift that I have to keep on display in case the people who gave it to me show up unexpectedly.) I’m not sure that’s the tackiest thing you can buy though…how about [the Thomas Kinkade Nativity Tree](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-1400101001.jsp?_/_prod/_120/_/_/_1062/_/_Y&endeca=true&abbr=tk)? Unlike the Thomas Kinkade Tower o’ Faith, this model will _thrill_ you. (The same might be said for the Baby Jesus buttplug.) ---
**Author:** ![troubledwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@troubledwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troubledwater)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/45 "2007-01-08T02:33:58Z")
[QUOTE=sci\_girl] I think [this](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-116094001.jsp?_/_prod/_88/_/_/_1070&endeca=true&abbr=wl&FP1) tomahawk deserves a mention. [/QUOTE] Hey, it’s part of a _series_. Tomahawk-of-the-month club! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/46 "2007-01-08T02:34:27Z")
[QUOTE=ultrafilter] Behold: [The Bradford Exchange](http://bradfordexchange.collectiblestoday.com/ct/store/brad?External=Y&cm_ven=Search&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Performics&cm_ite=Keyword). I’m particularly…impressed? by the [Dale Earnhardt Christmas Village Collection](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-917059.jsp?dale+earnhardt&endeca=true). [/QUOTE] I love the way it looks like his car is skidding out of control on the ice. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/47 "2007-01-08T02:39:05Z")
[QUOTE=fishbicycle] I can’t link to this item, because I don’t know who made it or where it was purchased. My inlaws give each other gag gifrs at Xmas. A couple of years ago, BIL got his dad a little plastic cow full of brown jelly beans. You push down on the head of the cow, and it poops out a jelly bean. Is that tacky enough? [/QUOTE] Something like [this](http://www.stupid.com/stat/J-REIN.html)? They didn’t have a cow, but they’ve got a pooping polar bear, reindeer, santa claus, pig, sheep, and penguin. I tried to look for something outright tacky on that website, but I wasn’t having much luck. They’ve got terrible, they’ve got stupid (hence the name, [stupid.com](http://stupid.com)), but everything’s too silly or gross to be tacky. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@The\_Blue-Sighted\_Shadow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Blue-Sighted_Shadow)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/48 "2007-01-08T02:49:30Z")
[These](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-913246.jsp?_Fantasy/_prod/_/_/_222/_1022/_/_Y&endeca=true&abbr=fan) are _something_. They’re bad enough as “sculptures,” but Christmas tree ornaments? And they’re a series, too, so you can collect them all! But for sheer creepiness, there’s nothing like the So Real dolls. Now [anatomically](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-300004001.jsp?_Ashton-Drake/_prod/_890+46/_/_12/_/_/_Y&endeca=true&abbr=ad) correct! Collect all the Just As God Made Them dolls for your lifelike baby collection. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/49 "2007-01-08T02:56:47Z")
Yes, it was pretty much exactly like those items! I believe my BIL found it in some novelty store in some far-flung city where his Broadway theatre troupe was performing. He likes to go exploring during the day, and he finds all kinds of unique and esoteric, and sometimes stupid, stuff to bring home when he comes. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/50 "2007-01-08T03:04:47Z")
Ugh. I was shopping for my grandmother around Christmastime, and my husband and I happened upon a tacky, tacky, tacky gift shop in Northgate Mall. They sold backlit, fibre-optic framed pictures of the Virgin Mary, Jesus, the Nativity, etc. The Virgin Mary one was cool, as it had a set of spinning lights around her head, her halo, I presume. The store had a wide selection of Christian fiber optics, Buddhist fiber optics, angels, faeries, demons, gargoyles, etc. Oh, yeah, and there was a sculpture of a dragon doing a wheelie on a Harley. Also, stuffed sleeping cats and dogs in baskets that, upon pressing their midsection, looked as though they were breathing. That was really creepy. I don’t remember the name of the store, it was something temporary like “Gifts”. I just remember noting to myself that, though my dear grandmother would just love it, I couldn’t bring myself to be seen purchasing anything from that store. It’s frightening enough that I had to experience it. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/51 "2007-01-08T03:10:06Z")
[Dragon Lava Lamp](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-900706001.jsp?_Fantasy/_prod/_/_/_/_1022&endeca=true&abbr=fan&FP2). This cracks me up for some reason. I’d also like to nominate any holiday decoration with rosy-cheeked snowmen, usually in a Kountry Kousins style, with a sentiment like “Snowmen fall from heaven one flake at a time.” The people who seem to like rosy-cheeked snowmen also would probably like Thomas Kincaide and angels and Dale Earnhardt stuff. A selection of rosy-cheeked snowmen: [Breast Cancer Snowman](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-900799001.jsp?_snowmen/_prod/_/_/_6/_/_/_Y&endeca=true) [Precious Moment Snowmen](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-900035001.jsp?_snowmen/_prod/_/_/_12/_/_/_Y&endeca=true) (Precious Moments in general are awful) [Thomas Kincaide Snowmen](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-913019.jsp?_snowmen/_prod/_/_/_18/_/_/_Y&endeca=true) ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/52 "2007-01-08T03:21:37Z")
Enema Jewelry [http://lunaparc.com/anat\_and\_repro/enema\_bag.htm](http://lunaparc.com/anat_and_repro/enema_bag.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/53 "2007-01-08T03:25:51Z")
[QUOTE=Mirror Image egamI rorriM] [Dragon Lava Lamp](http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-900706001.jsp?_Fantasy/_prod/_/_/_/_1022&endeca=true&abbr=fan&FP2). This cracks me up for some reason. [/QUOTE] That is hideous. My eyes blurred out of self-defense. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/54 "2007-01-08T04:24:41Z")
[QUOTE=Apricot] Enema Jewelry [http://lunaparc.com/anat\_and\_repro/enema\_bag.htm](http://lunaparc.com/anat_and_repro/enema_bag.htm) [/QUOTE] The enema jewelry is good…but the [Colon of Joy](http://lunaparc.com/anat_and_repro/colon.htm) appeared to him in a dream! It is a truly inspired piece of intestinal jewelry! Though I really think that the tomahawk takes the cake. It’s beautiful, it’s functional, and you can even park your airplane in it! > [@](#): > > Built-in hangar allows easy display as striking wall decor art ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/55 "2007-01-08T04:39:04Z")
Your man will make an interesting fashion statement in this Condom Cap: [http://www.villagehatshop.com/condom\_cap.html](http://www.villagehatshop.com/condom_cap.html) (May not be SFW.) ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/56 "2007-01-08T05:51:54Z")
Does it get any tackier than the [Buttplug O’ Christ](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php)? Because really, isn’t that what Jesus was all about? Not peace and goodwill and all that hippy crap. He was all about the buttsecks. ---
**Author:** ![badkittypriestess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8baadc/32.png) [@badkittypriestess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badkittypriestess)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/57 "2007-01-08T06:19:48Z")
[QUOTE=Barking Dog] Does it get any tackier than the [Buttplug O’ Christ](http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php)? Because really, isn’t that what Jesus was all about? Not peace and goodwill and all that hippy crap. He was all about the buttsecks. [/QUOTE] All I can get out is OMFG!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/58 "2007-01-08T07:30:09Z")
I think the [Jackhammer Jesus](http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html) might beat out the Baby Jesus Buttplug for sheer jaw-dropping inappropriateness. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/59 "2007-01-08T13:51:22Z")
The dragon lava lamp is missing some big chunks of glass. No dragon skulptire is compleat without a big chunk of glass, apparently. Or at least none that I’ve seen in stores for years (and yes, the store owners seem to think that spelling is opshunal). ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070/60 "2007-01-08T14:05:52Z")
Silcone breast implants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-jaw-droppingly-tacky-thing-you-can-buy/387070.md?page=4)