# Whats the most painful thing done to your genitals? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914 "2006-12-05T06:48:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/21 "2006-12-05T15:49:03Z")
Mrs. \*\*Spiff \*\*, looking over my shoulder, tells me to respond with this: “Giving birth to an 8 lb. baby.” ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/22 "2006-12-05T15:50:07Z")
[QUOTE=SnipaWolf] for me its gotta be that stupid ass swab on a metal stick that they use to check for STDs. damn they have your spread open your pee hole and then they ram the metal swab up inside as deep as they can get it . oh man my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it … :smack: [/QUOTE] Last time I had that style of STD test done it was not a metal swab just a largish Q-tip. It is deffinatly up there as the most painful genital experiance for me. The doctors instructions where please don’t hit me when I do this. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/23 "2006-12-05T16:13:59Z")
1. When I was at a pediatrician appointment around the age of 11 or 12, doc was doing his usual systems check and determined that my foreskin had basically reattached itself to the ridge created during the circumcision. He told mom that it wasn’t that uncommon, and just needed to be pulled back again. So he did, right there. I’m just laying there on the table and he starts pulling the skin away from the head, nothing to numb the area, just sheer brute force. Holy shit. That fuckin hurt. I had to use ointment on the thing for about a week afterward, and all day in school all I wanted to do was put my hands down my pants and hold the little\* guy. 2. Got the head stuck in the zipper once. Didn’t have the neighbors or EMT’s looking in the window, but I ended up laying on the bathroom floor in agonizing pain. \*Hey, I was only 11! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/24 "2006-12-05T16:18:34Z")
Being neglected. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/25 "2006-12-05T17:13:26Z")
All I remember is that I was a kid and it had something to do with being airborne on my bike. ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/26 "2006-12-05T17:32:54Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Similar to the swab test, but WORSE, was the cytoscopy I had to get done after I was in the hospital at the beginning of this year. They’d found some microscopic traces of blood in my urine and I had to go get this freakin’ CAMERA slid up my urethra all the way into my bladder! Urination was not fun for about two days, let me tell you… [/QUOTE] What the hell did they use on you, the same gadget they use to look in people’s stomachs? I had a cystoscopy done in the Navy and the actual insertion of the instrument (a chrome rod at least 1/4" in diameter :eek: ) was not half as bad as the fact that they decided to invite several female corpsmen in to observe the procedure. It was very surprising to watch how deep the thing goes. Peeing was great after that – as soon as I got back home I went to take a leak and it was like a fire hose: fully empty in two seconds. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/27 "2006-12-05T17:54:25Z")
[QUOTE=minor7flat5] What the hell did they use on you, the same gadget they use to look in people’s stomachs? I had a cystoscopy done in the Navy and the actual insertion of the instrument (a chrome rod at least 1/4" in diameter :eek: ) was not half as bad as the fact that they decided to invite several female corpsmen in to observe the procedure. It was very surprising to watch how deep the thing goes. Peeing was great after that – as soon as I got back home I went to take a leak and it was like a fire hose: fully empty in two seconds. [/QUOTE] All I know is that peeing afterward felt like they say gonorrhea feels. BURRRRRRNNNN!!! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/28 "2006-12-05T18:07:40Z")
I misread this as the most painful thing _I’ve_ done to my genitals. The most painful thing anybody or anything has done to my genitals or thereabouts was a “straddle injury to the perineum” suffered during a martial arts tournament. In layman’s terms, a man-mountain kicked the bejeezus out of me under my cup right in the taint. Big, big, ugly, ugly bruise. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/29 "2006-12-05T18:18:46Z")
I had a anti fungus for athletes foot . My crotch was a bit red. I deemed the anti athletes foot spray would cure the redness. 5 Minutes of excruciating pain followed. It made getting skin in zipper a comparative pleasure. Worst …A huge guy at work was moving a very big bronze bearing at work. He was putting it on a metal table. It weighed 65 lbs. He dropped it on the edge of the table right on his penis. I will always remember that scream. Someone had to pick it off him without causing more damage. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/30 "2006-12-05T18:24:26Z")
I used to be a skater (actually, I’m still a skater but I just don’t go as fast or as high as I used to…on the plus side, though, I get as many runs as I want in the pool at the local park 'cuz everyone is too stunned at the sight of a 35 year old skater to take their turn). I’m sure you have all seen video of a guy sliding down a handrail. I’m sure you have all also seen a video of the same guy bailing and coming down hard on the boys. Yep, that happened to me…once. Like **Mr Bus Guy** , I just rolled over, puked, and wanted to die. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/31 "2006-12-05T18:32:06Z")
[QUOTE=Spiff] Mrs. \*\*Spiff \*\*, looking over my shoulder, tells me to respond with this: “Giving birth to an 8 lb. baby.” [/QUOTE] Tell her she’s lucky. I’ve done that, and it was nowhere near as bad as the biopsy of my cervix (stirrups, specula, and then a really long nail-clipper like thingy with which they snipped off chunks of my cervix for testing with no anaesthetic) or the cyrofreezy thing they did another day, which involved more stirrups and specula, then liquid nitrogen being brushed onto my cervix. GAH! Not just pain pain pain, but freezing freezing freezing from your very insidest core. Not to mention that over the next two weeks the whole surface of my cervix died, smelled, and sloughed off in chunks like a really bad period mixed with roadkill. Uh…should I have spoiler TMIed that? Tough, I read about your foreskins and urethras. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/32 "2006-12-05T18:51:43Z")
[QUOTE=SnipaWolf] for me its gotta be that stupid ass swab on a metal stick that they use to check for STDs. damn they have your spread open your pee hole and then they ram the metal swab up inside as deep as they can get it . oh man my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it … :smack: [/QUOTE] It _was_ the stick… then I got kidney stones. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/33 "2006-12-05T19:09:56Z")
I have a canned post ready for any thread where Gold Bond medicated powder is mentioned: > [@](#): > > I use GB powder to keep my feet dry and scare away fungus demons. One day I had the bright idea of applying it to my crotch. Bad idea. Around 6 pm that night I took myself to the emergency room with what appeared to be a combination of elephantiasis, leprosy and a major poison ivy reaction. My naughtybits were swollen, oozing and itched/burned like hell. The ER doc looked at my loins with undisguised horror. He called over some of the other younger medical-type people who, I suppose, were budding doctors going through their ER initiation. I am sure some of these young men took this moment to reconsider their career paths. I was given a steroid shot and sent limping home. Took me over a month to get back to normal. > > Apparently I suffered an allergic reaction to the menthol. I’m not saying that everybody will react like this, but it was so traumatic that I’ll spend the rest of my life warning people about it. GB still works great on my feet, but the stuff will never be applied anywhere above my ankles. > > The story has a happy ending - the boys made a full recovery and are working as hard as ever. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/34 "2006-12-05T23:07:18Z")
Well, this didn’t happen to me, as will soon be come apparent, but… Back in the day, in Manitoba in the dead of winter it gets really friggin’ cold. One day it was about -45C, probably -50C with the wind chill. One of my uncle’s friends (who was about 11 or 12) was walking over to the house and forgot to do up his zipper. He may have just had a wee so his underwear might have been a bit damp. The zipper froze open. It was a 45 minute walk. He got frostbite on his willy. I don’t know if you’ve ever had frost bite, but it hurts like a mother fucker, and that’s on ears and noses and hands. My grandmother had to warm his willy up with her hands and put it in a pan of luke warm water to warm it up. So not only did he get frost bite on his cock, his friend’s _MOM_ had to help him out. I’m sure he died about 1,000 little boy deaths that day. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/35 "2006-12-06T00:05:55Z")
[QUOTE=SnipaWolf] for me its gotta be that stupid ass swab on a metal stick that they use to check for STDs. damn they have your spread open your pee hole and then they ram the metal swab up inside as deep as they can get it . oh man my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it … :smack: [/QUOTE] I’m not sure I remember , but I assure you , it was an accident. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/36 "2006-12-06T00:08:25Z")
When I was about nine or ten, I must have sat in a patch of poison ivy one summer while wearing shorts. I got poison ivy ALL over my legs and on my labia. AAAH! ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/37 "2006-12-06T00:11:33Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Tell her she’s lucky. I’ve done that, and it was nowhere near as bad as the biopsy of my cervix (stirrups, specula, and then a really long nail-clipper like thingy with which they snipped off chunks of my cervix for testing with no anaesthetic) or the cyrofreezy thing they did another day, which involved more stirrups and specula, then liquid nitrogen being brushed onto my cervix. GAH! Not just pain pain pain, but freezing freezing freezing from your very insidest core. Not to mention that over the next two weeks the whole surface of my cervix died, smelled, and sloughed off in chunks like a really bad period mixed with roadkill. Uh…should I have spoiler TMIed that? Tough, I read about your foreskins and urethras. [/QUOTE] Ok, you…umm you know what, “win” the thread just doesn’t seem appropriate here… ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/38 "2006-12-06T00:41:40Z")
Good lord! The reattaching foreskin, the cervical biopsy - why the hell don’t they use some sort of local anaesthetic?! ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/39 "2006-12-06T01:31:45Z")
I had an agonizing breast biopsy (two actually, on the same day). No local, because “it could ruin the sample.” So, I had a hard lump in each breast (as it turns out, not cancer, everything fine). Did I mention the lumps were very hard? You know when you were a kid, and you wanted to get a pellet of ice into the end of your straw to shoot at your brother, so you pounded the straw into the icey slush at the bottom of your cup? They used the same method, except for straw, read “needle” and for “icey slush” read “my boobs,” which were already rather sore from enduring 4 vigourous-to-the-point-of-pain manual exams and an ultrasound. Insert needle (me thinking, ok, I can handle this). POUND POUND POUND = Exteme burning agonizing HOLY SHIT screaming pain. repeat 3 times per breast. It was supposed to be 4, but the technician went and got the Attending because my pain was somewhat “anomalous.” The Attending checked the sample herself, told me I could go home, and gave me ice packs for my boobs. I’ve had anesthetic wear out in the middle of a root canal and this was much, much worse. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914/40 "2006-12-06T01:42:01Z")
[QUOTE=Spiff] Mrs. \*\*Spiff \*\*, looking over my shoulder, tells me to respond with this: “Giving birth to an 8 lb. baby.” [/QUOTE] Giving birth to a 12 lb. baby, PLUS the stitches that followed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-done-to-your-genitals/382914.md?page=3)