# What's the most painful thing imaginable? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 14, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436 "2006-11-14T20:41:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/21 "2006-11-14T23:34:43Z")
Oh yeah, like I’m gonna tell. Nice try, O’Brien. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/22 "2006-11-14T23:42:11Z")
If you’re getting into fiction, try what the Mongolians did to the Japanese soldier in Haruki Murakami’s _The Wind-up Bird Chronicle_. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/23 "2006-11-14T23:44:30Z")
A full-body gout attack during a bout in an Ultimate Fighting competition. Oh, Christ, I just scared myself. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/24 "2006-11-15T00:02:04Z")
Death by papercuts, with lemon juice. At least, that was the consensus at the lunch table back in high school. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/25 "2006-11-15T00:58:52Z")
[This, right here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=384382) Warning: disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/26 "2006-11-15T01:54:03Z")
Marraige ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/27 "2006-11-15T02:01:21Z")
1. Burning/boiling alive. 2. Jellyfish stings. 3. Soft tissue torture, eg: nails or teeth pulled, bamboo under nails. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/28 "2006-11-15T02:06:57Z")
Oh, I forgot: Radical Islamist-style amputations or beheadings. Each is done with a tool not _quite_ adequate for the job, typically a scalpel for cutting off hands and a machete for decapitation. The purpose is to prolong the victim’s agony. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/29 "2006-11-15T02:13:36Z")
Burning flesh is obviously going to hurt, but the nerves end up burned too. Being skinned will keep the pain receptors active until the very slow blood loss gets you. I think the worst pain I’ve ever felt was when I managed to turn on my ankle. The flipping thing went through 180 degrees (and is now largely held together by pins and screws). The pain was not so overwhelming that I couldn’t drag myself to my phone for help, but I guess that was adrenaline fuelled. All I can remember is waves of nausea, the pain doesn’t seem to have left a permanent impression. Thankfully. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/30 "2006-11-15T03:13:58Z")
Backstory: an accident some years ago resulted in a badly broken tibia & fibula which were reassembled with screws. A few of the screws protruded through the medial aspect of the bones and as such were points of tenderness when bumped. I elected to have the offending hardware removed during an outpatient procedure. During intake, I advised the nurse that local would be fine, but she was doing her job and set a line for general anesthesia. Once we’d reached the OR, I confirmed with the Doctor my desire for local, and he said, “It’s your call.” Friends, I cannot adequately describe the feeling, other than to say that I did not realize that bone possesses that degree of innervation. The incision was painless, fitting the hex wrench into the head of the screw caused mild discomfort, but when the turning began to back it out…if pain had a color, I’d vote for blue white. :eek: Once out, I heard it clank in the tray, the OR nurse said, “Please breathe.” I’d kinda stopped everything in response to that feeling. Repeat the above twice more. Hard to contemplate something more painful. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/31 "2006-11-15T03:16:02Z")
12 years of public education in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/32 "2006-11-15T09:38:52Z")
Being impaled. Anally. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/33 "2006-11-15T09:49:17Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Being impaled. Anally. [/QUOTE] To some people that is a delicacy. ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/34 "2006-11-15T10:03:59Z")
Head in a vice. Imagine the slowly increasing pressure until you hear your skull start to crack. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/35 "2006-11-15T10:46:03Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] My wife said the same exact thing, and meant it. Luckily I have passed neither a child nor stone. Would losing your life-long partner count as the most painful thing imaginable? Or physical only? I would thing either burning alive or as a man, putting glass in the mans penis and breaking it in little pieces (if this really happened, possible rumor from the Vietnam War). [/QUOTE] Burning alive while tied to a pole or after the pole has been inserted inside you, _homme a l’ast_ style? The second version was done at least once in history (to Miguel Servet, by the Calvinists in Switzerland… methinks I better not bring this little tidbit up while I’m living in the land of chocolatey goodness…) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/36 "2006-11-15T10:47:24Z")
[QUOTE=Governor Quinn] Being hung, drawn, and quartered strikes me as being rather awful. [/QUOTE] Pchsa, by the time they take you down it’s not hurting any more. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/37 "2006-11-15T11:11:04Z")
Standing in front of a blackboard, someone kicks you in the back so your teeth scrape over the board. … what? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/38 "2006-11-15T11:15:57Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] I have done some other things like chopping my knee with an axe that were pretty bad as well. [/QUOTE] mrAru? Is that you? \ One christmas morning I took mrAru to the ER because he embedded the corner of the hatchet he was splitting kindling with in his knee … ---
**Author:** ![shizaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@shizaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shizaru)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/39 "2006-11-15T12:03:44Z")
I’ve been whacked in the nuts several times. One time I was 15 years old and the pain was so unbearable my family had to take me to the emergency room. I was crying in agony for about an hour before that. (long story, lets just say my nuts met with a slab of concrete). In the ER I couldn’t even sit in a chair. I was on the floor sobbing in a fetal position holding my balls. A guy that had somehow cut a large gash in his arm with blood literally running out of him said to the nurse “Take this kid first…he looks like he’s in more pain than I am.”. There are people that undergo even more painful things, but about 6 years ago I spontaneously developed some kind of wierd infection in my balls. I can’t even remember what the doctors called it, just that they said it just happens to some men. I was walking to work when all of a sudden, and I mean all of a sudden, it felt like someone had reached inside of my sack twisted hard. The pain was so intense and unexpected I literally fell over in mid stride. It seemed to go straight down in my legs, but man, my balls hurt. I cried. I was sitting on the sidewalk holding my crotch fighting back tears. A female officer (I was at Patch Army Barracks in Stuttgart) walked by and aske 'Are you ok, Sergeant?" I weakly told her “Yes Ma’am. I’m okay.”. She shrugged and walked away. I couldn’t figure out a way to tell her what was wrong without it coming out as _ **"Ma’am, MY BALLS HURT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA!".** _ I made it to a doctor and I had to take some antibiotics for like 2 weeks. It took about 5 days for the pain to actually go away. The bad thing is about 6 months later it happened again. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436/40 "2006-11-15T12:37:21Z")
That’s all pretty bad, but as a parent having to watch my child in pain is very bad. Imagine being immobilized and watching your own child tortured or something gruesome…that’s far worse. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-painful-thing-imaginable/380436.md?page=3)