# What's the most ridiculously long and pointless legal notice you've seen in an email? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 7, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712 "2006-06-07T05:07:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/1 "2006-06-07T05:07:36Z")
I develop software for the financial sector (when I’m not a student, that is). A lot of companies in this industry seem to require their employees to include legal disclaimers at the bottom of their emails: “This message may contain confidential information!” and so forth. Mostly, these don’t bother me too much, as they are short and to the point, and I recognize their utility. However, one person I’m dealing with has the most monstrous notice attached to _every single one_ of his emails. Combined with his utterly useless, redundant signatures, it’s enough to make his usually one-liner emails spill over onto two pages when printed. > [@](#): > > Hi **Absolute** , > > 3:00 PM on Friday it is then. > > -Joe Blow _(For some reason, the man doesn’t realize his name is already in his signature in a different font, and so he types it himself at the end of all his emails.)_ > > _ **Joe Blow** _ > Senior VP of Pomposity > Some Company > > [jblow@somecompany.com](mailto:jblow@somecompany.com) _(Thanks, I couldn’t find it anywhere else in your FREAKING EMAIL)_ > Phone: (398) 299-2819 x50929 > Fax: (398) 299-3048 > Cell: (492) 589-8579 > > 7382 Nowhere Ave. > Suite 2910 > Somewhere, NY 39289-9911 _(who the hell uses a zip+4?)_ > United States of America _(Oh, good thing he mentioned this, I was going to send the application to New York, Turkmenistan)_ > > LEGAL NOTICE:This e-mail has been sent to you by XXX > XXX Inc… This communication, and the information it > contains, is intended for the person(s) or organisation(s) to whom it > is addressed. Its contents are confidential and may be protected in > law. Unauthorised use, copying or disclosure of any of it may be > unlawful. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the > sender by replying with ‘Received in error’ as the subject and then > delete it from your mailbox. Any views or opinions presented are > solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of > XXX XXX Inc. Although this e-mail and any > attachments are believed to be free of any virus or other defects > which might affect any computer or IT system into which they are > received, no responsibility is accepted from XXX XXX > Inc., or any of its associated companies for any loss or damage > arising in any way from the receipt or use thereof. We recommend that > you should carry out your own virus checking procedure before opening > any attachment. Christ. I’m surprised he doesn’t include “Planet Earth, Solar System, Spiral Arm 3, Milky Way Galaxy, Local Group, Known Universe, Reality” at the end of his address as well. Can any of you top all that? What’s the most ridiculous legal disclaimer / signature you’ve seen in an email? Personally, I sign all my emails with just Firstname Lastname My name, position, phone numbers and mailing address are all on our website. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/2 "2006-06-07T06:57:20Z")
I’ve collected a few stupid email disclaimers over the years, and [here they are](http://www.ianrowland.com/TheVault/Disclaimers1.html) . But I can’t beat the one you cited. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/3 "2006-06-07T07:09:30Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > (who the hell uses a zip+4?) Me. … We’ve got a pretty bad one at work since we recently increased ours by 125%. Not as bad as that though. It’s hard to compare though, most everyone has there’s in very small blue print. Thankfully I also know to include only uesful information in my signature. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/4 "2006-06-07T08:15:15Z")
One of my former co-workers had added her own disclaimer to her signature, even though the system automatically added a disclaimer to all outgoing emails. Drove me crazy. I don’t know why she thought she needed two disclaimers - or even one for that matter. We worked for a transport company, transporting goods from the factory to the distribution warehouse. It’s not like we handled any top secret or sensitive information. Heaven forbid that someone should intercept the weekly report on how long it took to load the trucks! Quelle disaster! ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/5 "2006-06-07T10:41:15Z")
All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of Alchemy Mindworks Inc. No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included – best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there. Use no hooks. Not intended for use by children or liberals under the age of five. Printed on unrecycled dead trees and we’re proud of it ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/6 "2006-06-07T10:43:14Z")
The 2001 Dafta Longest Email Disclaimer contest winner: > **[The 2001 Daftas Longest Email Disclaimer](https://www.theregister.com/2001/05/18/the_2001_daftas_longest_email/)** > > UBS Warburg and its incredible 1081 words ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/7 "2006-06-07T16:47:13Z")
I think I may have you all beat: > [@](#): > > About Deloitte > Deloitte refers to one or more of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu, a Swiss > Verein, its member firms and their respective subsidiaries and > affiliates. As a Swiss Verein (association), neither Deloitte Touche > Tohmatsu nor any of its member firms has any liability for each other’s > acts or omissions. Each of the member firms is a separate and > independent legal entity operating under the names “Deloitte,” “Deloitte > & Touche,” “Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu,” or other related names. Services > are provided by the member firms or their subsidiaries or affiliates and > not by the Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Verein. Deloitte & Touche USA LLP is > the U.S. member firm of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu. In the U.S., services > are provided by the subsidiaries of Deloitte & Touche USA LLP (Deloitte > & Touche LLP, Deloitte Consulting LLP, Deloitte Financial Advisory > Services LLP, Deloitte Tax LLP and their subsidiaries), and not by > Deloitte & Touche USA LLP. [v.I.1] > > _ **Any tax advice included in this written or electronic communication was not intended or written to be used, and it cannot be used by the taxpayer, for the purpose of avoiding any penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by any governmental taxing authority or agency** _ > This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message. Any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. [v.T.1] ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/8 "2006-06-07T16:52:01Z")
Oops…I should have opened Engineer’s link first. Jesus! What, are they crazy? But mine is from an email I actually received. That’s gotta count for something. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/9 "2006-06-07T21:22:29Z")
While I agree that the disclaimer in the OP is bad, what’s wrong with including your email address in your sig? I see emails float through upto a dozen forwards or responses. By that time, the originial email address is long gone from the header. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/10 "2006-06-07T21:47:32Z")
> [@Tastes of Chocolate](#): > > While I agree that the disclaimer in the OP is bad, what’s wrong with including your email address in your sig? I see emails float through upto a dozen forwards or responses. By that time, the originial email address is long gone from the header. Because there’s the remote chance your letter could end up on the Web, or in a listserv - places that are crawled by spiders looking for addresses to add to their spam list. If you don’t include your email address in the footer, you decrease the chances of that happening - just a little bit, I know, but it helps. If it’s the kind of letter that’s forwarded to Turdwater Springs and back, it’s likely going to have the kind of content that some Jean Teasdale-type will post on her Geocities survivors/dead baby/Dale Earnhardt memorial/kountry kute/angels page. Do you really want to see your email address appear there? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/11 "2006-06-07T21:52:40Z")
I hate these things with the fire of a thousand suns. Has anyone ever gotten sued by anyone ever for not including one of these braindead things in their emails? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-ridiculously-long-and-pointless-legal-notice-youve-seen-in-an-email/359712/12 "2006-06-07T22:59:20Z")
For three years, the end of mine has read “…any disclosure, printing, copying, distribution or use of the contents is prohibited, not no mention just plain rude.” No one has ever commented on it.