# What's the most "Sit-Com-y" thing to happen to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 3, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105 "2011-09-03T20:55:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Post\_Miss\_Post](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Post\_Miss\_Post](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Post_Miss_Post)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/101 "2011-09-14T12:12:29Z")
When I was about 18 we moved house. We’d only been in the new house a day or two and I was at home by myself, probably during university holidays. There’s a knock at the door and a Salvation Army representative tells me he’s here to pick up the mattress. I know my parents have ordered a new bed, so I show the two men upstairs and they gratefully take the mattress away. Later I go out and eventually end up at a bar with friends (yes we can drink legally at 18), where I stay till about 1 or 2am. When I get home, there’s a note on the kitchen counter reading “Can you solve the mystery of the missing mattress?” It appears that someone else on our block had called the Salvation Army to donate a mattress and my parents simply got home to find they had nothing to sleep on. Apparently they searched high and low. I imagine them opening cupboards in the vein hope of finding something so large it couldn’t possibly be hidden out of sight. Of course, this was before mobile phones. Wouldn’t be so funny now. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/102 "2011-09-14T12:20:49Z")
I used to attend a day camp held in the basement of a Unitarian church. One day, someone left several of their dogs shut in one of the basement rooms. It wasn’t being used by the camp, but somehow they got out and were wandering around. A few of the campers, including me, decided we should take them back to the room. The dogs started to run, and we started to run after them. Somehow, they wound up cornered, got understandably upset, and that is how I wound up being chased through the basement of a Unitarian church by a pack of Russian wolfhounds. (Nobody got hurt, since we shut ourselves in another room. I no longer remember where the counselors were.) ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/103 "2011-09-14T13:10:31Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > I used to attend a day camp held in the basement of a Unitarian church. One day, someone left several of their dogs shut in one of the basement rooms. It wasn’t being used by the camp, but somehow they got out and were wandering around. A few of the campers, including me, decided we should take them back to the room. The dogs started to run, and we started to run after them. Somehow, they wound up cornered, got understandably upset, and that is how I wound up being chased through the basement of a Unitarian church by a pack of Russian wolfhounds. (Nobody got hurt, since we shut ourselves in another room. I no longer remember where the counselors were.) I’m picturing this framed by a doorway, with the first shot of you chasing the dogs past the door quickly followed by a shot of you running back past the door, chased by the dogs. Good stuff! ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/104 "2011-09-14T14:08:40Z")
I’m loving this thread and I just know I’m going to regret posting this, but what the heck. I’ll share my embarrassing story. Ages ago when I still smoked, I was leaving my desk for my smoke break and decided to use the restroom first. So while I’m sitting there, I decide to spit out my gum and raise my right cheek and throw my gum in the toilet. Finish up, pull my panty hose up and go on out for my smoke. 10 minutes later, I’m walking back to my desk and something feels weird. I go back to the restroom only to discover that I have glued my hose to my butt with my gum. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/105 "2011-09-14T14:16:18Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > I got a flat tire on my way to Mom’s funeral. Reminds me of my two flat-tire related ones: 1. Got a flat tire on my way to my wedding. Granted, I was driving up the day before, so it wasn’t a crisis, but still. 2. Shortly before our wedding, my then-fiancee and I were driving up to Wilson, NC, to collect a washing machine her parents were handing down to us in a truck borrowed from a friend. Somewhere just south of Lumberton, NC, we had a flat. Against her insistence that I was going to make us late, I stopped in Lumberton and replaced our now-defunct spare tire. We made it to Wilson without further incident, but about 45 minutes into our return journey, we had a second flat tire. To her credit, she never again questioned my car maintenance instincts for the 17 years we were married. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/106 "2011-09-14T19:48:33Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I’m picturing this framed by a doorway, with the first shot of you chasing the dogs past the door quickly followed by a shot of you running back past the door, chased by the dogs. Good stuff! …with the “Benny Hill” music playing in the background. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/107 "2011-09-14T19:58:00Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I was waiting outside a classroom at college once with a couple of girls. I was chatting with one while the other girl (who was black) was reading something posted on a nearby bulletin board. I had a bag of Hershey’s Kisses with me, and offered one to the girl I was talking with. Not wanting to be rude to the other girl, I turned to her and said, “Would you like a chocolate kiss?” > > She spun around, instantly furious, and demanded, “Would I like a WHAT?” > > The bag of candy in my hand only partially mollified her. The rest of the semester, she kept giving me these deeply suspicious looks whenever we passed each other in the hall. It would make a much better sitcom moment if she was interested rather than offended. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/108 "2011-09-14T21:22:53Z")
Does “The Venture Bros” count? There is a character on that show known as Colonel Gathers. It rarely comes up, but is first name is Hunter. So, his name is “Hunter Gathers”. I just got my hair cut. When I walked into the place the stylist was there talking to her husband. He had a nametag on. His name? “Hunter Gardener”. Soooo close! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/109 "2011-09-15T18:51:14Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > I got a flat tire on my way to Mom’s funeral. > > More sad than funny, but some shows aren’t well written. My ex-POSSLQ’s sister gave birth at their father’s funeral. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/110 "2011-09-15T20:48:19Z")
Piece Of Shit Sorry Low Quality??? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/111 "2011-09-15T20:49:08Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Piece Of Shit Sorry Low Quality??? Person Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/112 "2011-09-15T21:19:41Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Piece Of Shit Sorry Low Quality??? Most unkind assumption, **maggenpye**. The remark is very Dark Side of the Force. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/113 "2011-09-15T21:34:00Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Most unkind assumption, **maggenpye**. > > The remark is very Dark Side of the Force. I had no idea what it meant, POS is common so I checked SLQ, my apologies if you found it offensive. I was genuinely attempting to fight my own ignorance. Thanks to **The Other Waldo Pepper** for the assistance. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/114 "2011-09-15T23:12:39Z")
I don’t know if this is sitcom-like enough, but here’s my story. I went to the movies with my brother. He tells me he’s going to the restroom, I volunteer to go grab us good seats. But since the theater is almost empty I decide I can go to the restroom too. When I’m done in there, I notice that only one stall is occupied: obviously it has to be my brother. So I bang loudly on the door and say in a deep voice “Excuse me sir, you have spent quite enough time in there, we need to mop the floors, please come out at once.” Cue some lome loud swearing and questioning of my sanity and/or fitness to treat the customers appropriately: it turns out that it _wasn’t_ my brother! I go back to sit in the theater and wonder what happened to him? He shows up five minutes after the movie starts and finds me in the dark. His story: he was in a hurry so entered the bathroom in a rush and went straight to the stall. Once he was in there, he heard other people coming in and talking. He had gone to the women’s restroom instead! The women’s facilities were popular, young ladies were continuously going in and out. He had to wait until he was sure it was empty before he dared to come out of his booth. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/115 "2011-09-16T00:22:20Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > I had no idea what it meant, POS is common so I checked SLQ, my apologies if you found it offensive. I was genuinely attempting to fight my own ignorance. > > Thanks to **The Other Waldo Pepper** for the assistance. And in fairness, **Sam A. Robrin** _did_ say “ex-POSSLQ”, which suggests your definition might be closer how he currently thinks of the person in question :). ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/116 "2011-09-16T01:16:40Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > And in fairness, **Sam A. Robrin** _did_ say “ex-POSSLQ”, which suggests your definition might be closer how he currently thinks of the person in question :). That could well have skewed my interpretation. Or it could just be the sit-com-y goodness that’s also making me and Mum completely misunderstand each other at least twice in every conversation. We’re blaming the last traces of flu as hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/117 "2011-09-16T02:46:45Z")
I had never golfed before. My husband took me to the driving range. Apparently I wasn’t following through with my stroke properly. He moved behind me to correct my swing…I swung, followed through and whacked him in the head with the club. Luckily no concussion, but he’s never taken me to the driving range again. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/118 "2011-09-16T18:23:48Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Piece Of Shit Sorry Low Quality??? > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Person Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. Well–you’re _both_ right! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/119 "2011-09-16T18:48:26Z")
Being a fat lazy schlub married to an uber-hot, super-smart wife. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105/120 "2011-09-16T22:15:36Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Tell. Please? Done! > [@The perfect situational joke opportunity fails due to cultural differences](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-situational-joke-opportunity-fails-due-to-cultural-differences/395183/6): > > When I was in Grad School my research group went out to lunch together once a week. One time **Mama Zappa** joined us. My doctoral adviser was talking about one his trips to Europe, and asked **Mama Zappa** “Have you ever been to Spain?” She immediately said “No, but I kinda like the music!” Everyone under thirty at the table laughed. 🆒 Everyone over thirty had no clue. 😕 > > I was **soooo** proud of her! 😃 > > [Link](http://www.threedognight.com/l_never.html) for the lyrically impaired. > It’s Three Dog Night. They were big in the sixties. For more than twenty minutes. Now where’s my Social Security check? > [@Randomly hilarious moments](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/randomly-hilarious-moments/358832/30): > > Backstory: I’m from central PA, not far from Three Mile Island. I was away at college the year the place nearly melted down. > > One day I happened to walk in upon the future Papa Zappa (whose back was to me) and his roommates just as one of the roommates said “…mutant cows from Harrisburg”. > > Without missing a beat, I said “Ooom?”, which was my beloved’s first clue that I was in the room. Everyone else went into hysterics while Papa Zappa / Typo Knig attempted to die of embarassment. > > 20+ years later, “ooom” still makes us giggle. > [@Randomly hilarious moments](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/randomly-hilarious-moments/358832/36): > > **Mama Zappa** and I were at a potluck supper. One of the attendees brought a lot of wine, and **Mama Zappa** and I indulged. Not too much, but just enough that when a fellow grad student offered to drive us to our apartment we accepted, rather than walk across campus. Stagger would have been more like it. > > Back in our apartment, I sobered up enough to start on the dishes. **Mama Zappa** was zoned out in the living room area. While doing the dishes it ocurred to me what a good influence my bride was on me. I was drinking less, and therefore my alcohol tolerance had plummeted. I thought I would tell her this wonderful fact. I said “Honey, since I’ve know you I’ve become a cheap drunk!” > > … 😕 … :eek: … :smack: … > > “Um, let me rephrase that!” > > Scary thing is, she knew > > ```auto > > exactly > > ``` > > what I meant, and was not offended. Until my correction. Then she laughed, and we laughed and laughed. > [@Randomly hilarious moments](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/randomly-hilarious-moments/358832/50): > > On our tenth anniversary, we were travelling along a winding back road going to one of the finest restaurants in the area (l’Auberge Chez François, for DC area folks). Going around a corner, a car coming the other direction lost control and plowed head-on into us. > > The expected screaming, screeching brakes, and tearing metal sounds ensued. When we realized we were alive, and confirmed that the guys in the other car were likewise alive, we naturally got a bit hysterical with relief and babbled that we’d been on the way to celebrate our 10th anniversary. > > The driver of the other car said “So, what do you give for the 10th anniversary?”. My spouse replied “Uh, bent metal”. > > Shortly afterward, when the police arrived and were filling out the assorted reports, I asked my husband, loudly, “So how are you going to explain this to your _wife_???”. Had to 'splain that rather quickly, as apparently the policeman didn’t have a sense of humor :eek: 😉 > [@Situational jokes you've always wanted to use](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/situational-jokes-youve-always-wanted-to-use/393907/49): > > One day when **Mama Zappa** called me at work, I got the call from the receptionist. When I picked up, I heard my beloved saying “Damn, damn, damn!!” What was wrong? It seems the receptionist thought she recognized my bride’s voice when she asked for me. So the receptionist said “Is this his wife?” To which my wife said “Yes,” and the receptionist transferred the call to me. > > In the next nanosecond, **Mama Zappa** realized what she **should** have said was: > > “Wife? WIFE! That son-of-a-bitch has a **WIFE!!?** ” > > We got a good laugh out of it. I told the receptionist about it later, and she laughed too. I think if she had the exchange over the phone, she would have been shocked and offended. (She’s pretty religious, but has a great sense of humor.) > > It’s been over ten years, and we’re still waiting for the chance to use it again! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-most-sit-com-y-thing-to-happen-to-you/595105.md?page=7)