# What's the Next Shiny Thing To Come From Washington? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489 "2006-06-05T15:41:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/41 "2006-06-06T03:13:49Z")
Evil, satanic rock music hasn’t made the headlines lately. Problem is, there really isn’t any modern rock music anymore – Marilyn Manson’s old hat, and the PMRC broke up decades ago. All the kids listen to classic rock now. Pedophiles are due for a comeback. Lessee…we’ve found 'em in preschools, boy scout camps, and the Catholic priesthood. Where else could they be? If all else fails, they could go back to making a big deal over the little white girls that go missing every day (although the Aruba chick’s kinda cornered that action.) Energy crisis? Global Warming? Nah…too liberal. Any serial killers we haven’t caught yet? I’m stumped. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/42 "2006-06-06T03:22:05Z")
I’m pulling for asteroid defense (defense from, not for) to become the Next Big Thing. Expensive, lots of money for contractors. No more bears. Perfect. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/43 "2006-06-06T03:30:56Z")
Asteroid defense? Yeh, that has possibilities, but it’d be better if the “Who will think of the children?” angle could be worked into it somehow. Pity the terrorists don’t have enough technological savvy to accuse them of altering asteroid orbits in order to aim them at the United States. Unless… Aha! The Gay Agenda, Part 4, Clause 17, Subparagraph 2(ii)(d): Give assistance to the Enemies of America in their Evil Plot to wipe out traditional marriage by obliterating all heterosexual parents, thus leaving their innocent children defenseless against the predatory homosexual pedophile menace. Folks, we may have a winner here. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/44 "2006-06-06T03:52:39Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > And I have just the thing: He can prevent the eruption of the Yellowstone Super-volcano. Duuude! You just gave away the plot for 24: Day 7! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/45 "2006-06-06T04:18:02Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Evil, satanic rock music hasn’t made the headlines lately. Now that you mention it, it _has_ been a couple of years since a kid shot up his school. Whenever that comes due, it’ll probably be rock/video games’ turn again. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/46 "2006-06-06T05:36:57Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Pedophiles are due for a comeback. Lessee…we’ve found 'em in preschools, boy scout camps, and the Catholic priesthood. Where else could they be? They could start a new witch hunt for pedophiles in the public school systems. That would have the advantage of boosting supporting for the latest voucher scheme or whatever other idiotic new regulations they want to dump on public schools, while at the same time undermining the teachers’ unions. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/47 "2006-06-06T08:37:52Z")
I get the feeling that it’s going to be Iran. We’ve heard about it on and off over the past few weeks, but nobody’s really pounded away at it yet. All the elements are in place: Old dnemy, definite potential threat (although the degree is yet unknown), less-than-stellar human rights record, and we’re not completely sick of hearing about it. I seriously doubt that any kind of action is in the works, but c’mon, this is Washington…since when is action a necessity? Yeah, it’s probably a longshot, but the Republicans ran with a pat hand way too long and don’t really have any other good options. Oh, and Inigo…you can start a thread in the Pit. It’s okay. If I can do it, you can. It doesn’t make you any less of a poster. You’re human; sometimes you just have to let it all out. This is the place for that. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/48 "2006-06-06T10:05:38Z")
I think it’s high time the Republicans came out against the designated hitter. Even I might consider voting for them if it would rid the national pastime of that abomination. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/49 "2006-06-06T11:03:18Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > What we need is something to terrorize Americans that George W. Bush can seemingly _do_ something about to prevent – you know, the way he has prevented further terrorist attacks. This isn’t in the spirit of the OP, as it’s not ridiculously “shiny”, but I think a variation of “W keeps us safe from terrorists” is coming back around and will gain prominence. The spin now is “preventing _home-grown_ terrorists”, which has the side benefit of providing fodder to back up domestic wiretapping, phone record gathering, and ISP data retention. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/50 "2006-06-06T14:40:42Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I think it’s high time the Republicans came out against the designated hitter. Even I might consider voting for them if it would rid the national pastime of that abomination. At last, an issue that cuts across party politics and speaks to the Root Cause Of Evil in America today! I extend the hand of bipartisanship to my Liberal compatriot, as we fight this Scourge On All That Is Decent. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/51 "2006-06-06T17:25:14Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Asteroid defense? Yeh, that has possibilities, but it’d be better if the “Who will think of the children?” angle could be worked into it somehow. My God…it’s full of Porn! > [@DKW](#): > > I get the feeling that it’s going to be Iran. We’ve heard about it on and off over the past few weeks, but nobody’s really pounded away at it yet. All the elements are in place: Old dnemy, definite potential threat (although the degree is yet unknown), less-than-stellar human rights record, and we’re not completely sick of hearing about it. Any conversation on Iran in the next year is going to end up being (yet another) proxy arguement about the Iraq war. I’m not sure that’s going to be a great thing for the Repubs. I’m pretty disappointed in Rove this week, though. The Repubs are in trouble, all over the country Dems waited in terror at what master stroke The Power behind the Throne was going to pull to destroy them yet again. The world held its breath as he reached into his evil bag of tricks and pulled out…Gay Marriage? Again? Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/52 "2006-06-06T18:20:49Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I think it’s high time the Republicans came out against the designated hitter. Even I might consider voting for them if it would rid the national pastime of that abomination. Not gonna happen. Kerry has expressed his dislike of the DH. Besides, the AMERICAN League has the DH rule. You wouldn’t want to speak out against the AMERICAN League, would you? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/53 "2006-06-06T18:39:05Z")
As long as an invasion of Iran remains impossible and airstrikes seem unlikey, that debate’s not going to get very heated. The invasion option might be impossible for the rest of Bush’s term, and UN negotiations are still going on. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/54 "2006-06-06T19:26:37Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Not gonna happen. Kerry has expressed his dislike of the DH. Besides, the AMERICAN League has the DH rule. You wouldn’t want to speak out against the AMERICAN League, would you? Kerry: “I did indeed say that I dislike the Designated Hitter. But now I do. And I have three purple hearts!” ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/55 "2006-06-07T01:18:54Z")
[Cha-Ching!](http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/05/terror/main1683852.shtml) Victory for the GOP! Vote for us or faggot terrists will git ya! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/56 "2006-06-07T05:21:32Z")
Can this really be Rove’s work? It’s bad enough that they’re repeating their old hits, but to roll them out on the same day?? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/57 "2006-06-07T06:26:05Z")
The Republican base is not reknown for its thinking skills (critical or otherwise). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/58 "2006-06-07T14:46:23Z")
Well, since this ended up in the Pit…Here’s the news article I wrote on this topic. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/59 "2006-06-07T14:47:37Z")
:smack: um, yeah. Here’s [the link.](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/06/dobbs.june7/index.html) - And no, I’m not really Lou. It was a joke. Although I really like this piece. \* ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489/60 "2006-06-07T20:54:56Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Can this really be Rove’s work? It’s bad enough that they’re repeating their old hits, but to roll them out on the same day?? Faggots and terrorists. It’s worked before and we still haven’t come up with a final solution to them, have we? Why not keep doing it? -Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-shiny-thing-to-come-from-washington/359489.md?page=4)