# What's the next "Tactical" item? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2016, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200 "2016-11-16T21:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/1 "2016-11-16T21:59:36Z")
I get lots of spam for moronic “man-boy toys.” The latest buzzword is “tactical.” I’ve gotten spam for tactical flashlights, tactical laser pointers, tactical lighters, and yes, even tactical pens. What’s the next tactical gadget to hit my spam folder? ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/2 "2016-11-16T22:00:39Z")
Tactical food? Tactical tacks? Tactical Tic-Tacs? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/3 "2016-11-16T22:15:40Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > I get lots of spam for moronic “man-boy toys.” The latest buzzword is “tactical.” “Tacticool” is the insult I’ve commonly heard used for such things. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/4 "2016-11-16T22:19:17Z")
Shoelaces. With mil-spec aglets. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/5 "2016-11-16T22:43:35Z")
I never go anywhere without my tactical underwear. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/6 "2016-11-16T22:45:52Z")
> [@Sefton](#): > > I never go anywhere without my tactical underwear. It _is_ designed to carry a weapon. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/7 "2016-11-16T22:49:07Z")
Tactical ID lanyards? Tactical sunglass reservoir? Tactical cash magazine? …uh… Tactical dildo straps? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/8 "2016-11-16T23:01:45Z")
Tactical bacon! ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/9 "2016-11-16T23:22:36Z")
Tactical toilet paper: field grade, waterproof, tearproof. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/10 "2016-11-16T23:30:09Z")
Tactical is so 2013: > [@Cargo pants (not shorts)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cargo-pants-not-shorts/674383/18): > > Since I discovered [Tru-Spec tactical pants](http://www.atlanco.com/product/24-7-series-mens-tactical-pants,15,86.htm)years ago, they’re all I wear. > The number and configuration of pockets is awesome. The dedicated knife and baton or magazine pockets are genius. > > They make shorts as well, and I have several of those as well. > > They go with everything, everywhere! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/11 "2016-11-17T02:15:49Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > Tactical bacon! Already a thing: [Amazon.com : CMMG Tactical Cooked Bacon, 9-Ounce : Camping Freeze Dried Food : Sports & Outdoors](https://www.amazon.com/CMMG-Tactical-Cooked-Bacon-9-Ounce/dp/B003RC5FQ2) ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/12 "2016-11-17T03:00:17Z")
Tampons. With paracord strings. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/13 "2016-11-17T03:30:06Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Already a thing: [Amazon.com : CMMG Tactical Cooked Bacon, 9-Ounce : Camping Freeze Dried Food : Sports & Outdoors](https://www.amazon.com/CMMG-Tactical-Cooked-Bacon-9-Ounce/dp/B003RC5FQ2) Yeah, I know. But bacon. Sent from my LG-V495 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/14 "2016-11-17T03:34:40Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Already a thing: [Amazon.com : CMMG Tactical Cooked Bacon, 9-Ounce : Camping Freeze Dried Food : Sports & Outdoors](https://www.amazon.com/CMMG-Tactical-Cooked-Bacon-9-Ounce/dp/B003RC5FQ2) 26.24 for ONE 9 oz. can? That’s Profitable Bacon. > [@](#): > > Question: > Could this be Logistical bacon mislabeled as Tactical bacon? > Answer: > I don’t know, but it does taste like Strategic Bacon. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/15 "2016-11-17T04:53:40Z")
You can have my tactical kilt when you … ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/16 "2016-11-17T06:39:40Z")
Tactical Christmas stockings. > **[LA Police Gear Tactical Vest Christmas Stocking](https://lapolicegear.com/lapg-tcs-4-vest-stocking.html?utm_source=lapg-tcs-4-vest-stocking&utm_medium=shopping%2Bengine&utm_campaign=googleproducts&Color=OD%20Green&gclid=CKCjta6Wr9ACFRAxaQod2rUGvw)** > > The LA Police Gear Tactical Vest Christmas Stocking is modeled after a traditional tactical vest, complete with miniature (and functional) pouches, a central zipper, and a waist buckle. [http://www.americanbox.com/tactical-molle-christmas-stockings-od-green-ab.html?gclid=CM3jt86Wr9ACFQkOaQodU9cMRg](http://www.americanbox.com/tactical-molle-christmas-stockings-od-green-ab.html?gclid=CM3jt86Wr9ACFQkOaQodU9cMRg) > **[Amazon.com: Rothco RUXMTSDC Tactical Christmas Stocking, Multicam, Full : Sports...](https://www.amazon.com/RUCKUP-RUXMTSDC-Tactical-Christmas-Stocking/dp/B010VH35C6)** > > Buy Rothco RUXMTSDC Tactical Christmas Stocking, Multicam, Full: Tactical Bags & Packs - Amazon.com ✓ FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/17 "2016-11-17T08:48:39Z")
…wondering how best to weaponize copies of _Tacitus_… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/18 "2016-11-17T11:46:52Z")
[Tactical bottle opener.](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51f0a40ae4b00c4da7609cb0/51f41c47e4b049481db824bc/56f3da0855598624e1931e48/1458831177046/FullSizeRender-121-2.jpg?format=500w) May not be legal in all states. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/19 "2016-11-17T12:26:32Z")
Obligatory Archer video. [The tactical turtleneck.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FYJfEHOuY0) ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200/20 "2016-11-17T13:03:54Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > > [@GaryM](#): > > > > Tactical bacon! > > Already a thing: [Amazon.com : CMMG Tactical Cooked Bacon, 9-Ounce : Camping Freeze Dried Food : Sports & Outdoors](https://www.amazon.com/CMMG-Tactical-Cooked-Bacon-9-Ounce/dp/B003RC5FQ2) Tactical bacon has been around for a while; it just didn’t used to be called that. When I was a kid in the 70s and 80s, the summertime family vacation was a three-week road trip with a pop-up camper. [Celebrity Foods canned bacon](http://www.canned-bacon.com/home.html) was extremely handy on these trips because it didn’t need refrigeration, freeing up space in our small food cooler for other items. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-next-tactical-item/772200.md?page=2)