Seconded.
Bad news involving my parents would be really hard to take, even worse my brother.
The most stunning news would be something along the lines of " We can’t quite explain it, but this [they drag in small child] is your biological child. Did you ever donate eggs? Or experience missing time? Either way, the kid is now your problem." 
“Oh, you’re awake! You may be disoriented. Do you remember being in your apartment with your family? There was an explosion. They’re all dead. All your worldly possessions have been destroyed. We had to amputate both arms at the shoulder, and both legs at the hip. You’ll be hideously scarred for life. We had to remove both testicles. But there is good news. We were able to save an entire half inch of your penis!”
I literally LOL’d when I read this. You’re right, Eve. It would be scary news.
Seriously though, I’m with Sanguine Spider. If anything happened to my daughter, I would be ruined.
Your Ex calls, says she needs to move back in with you until her husband is released from jail, and she’s bringing the 6 six kids she has from 6 other relationships.
“And all the Coca-Cola Classic has turned into New Coke. Pepsi is Tab.”
You forgot that. 
This just in: ailens are sucking up the Earth’s atmosphere. The air pressure will fall below the ammount needed for human survival in approxamantly 3 hours.
***Scariest * ** news - not the worst (which would be deaths in the family etc)
“We are interrupting all Channels to make an annoucement. Today armed rebellion broke out in Luanda, and is spreading downtown. Naturally there is no truth in the rumours that President dos Santos has been assassinated. However UNITA have repudiated the Peace Treaty. They will be dealt with by the harshest measures possible. Effective 18:00 today until further notice a total Night Time Curfew has been declared - anybody on the streets after that time will be liable to be shot on sight without warning. The Aeroporto de Fev 14 has been closed until further notice and all civilian use of telephone networks has been cancelled. Further annoucements will follow shortly.”
:eek:
It would be in portuguese naturally - and so I would catch only 20% of it at best - the rest would be filled in by wild rumour.
I don’t have kids. Scarier than dying, nuclear annihilation, or anything else, to me:
“That car accident severed your spinal cord. You are paralyzed from the neck down. You cannot take care of your pets. You cannot drive yourself to work. You cannot even go upstairs in your own house to take a shower standing up. You will never walk again and your mother is moving in to take care of you. Or, you have to abandon your life in Florida and move back to Ohio where your family will take care of you. Because without use of your hands, you can’t even work to earn your own living.” (I’m a writer/editor – I could be paralyzed from the waist down and still figure out how to do for myself but lose the hands and arms and I’m screwed.)
And then I would spend the next six months trying to figure out how to off myself. Seriously. I’d rather be dead than lose my independence and my ability to take care of myself and those around me. Nevermind the costs of around the clock nursing that’s required for quadriplegics (sp?), it’s the loss of independence that terrifies me.
Funny, my biggest fear used to be being alone. . . Now that I’m used to being alone, my biggest fear is not being able to be alone. Hmmmm…
This exemplifies the courage of a Christopher Reeve.
Without a doubt that something happened to my wife. I don’t know what I’d do.
Mine’s the exact opposite. I figure I can do without my body (wouldn’t want to, but probably could), but my biggest fear would be to hear “You have Alzheimer’s”. To know that slowly but surely your mind will erode is abhorrent.
Scary? That’s easy.
‘Mrs. withaK, your husband has been captured by enemy forces. We don’t know where he is or even if he’s alive.’
Only 14 more months to worry about that. I am a terrible Army wife. 
As a twist on the whole “dead relative” theme, I’d have to say:
“We’re sorry, but it seems YOU left the gas on and caused a fire that killed your family.”
I think it’s fairly normal for people to die, so I expect to have to deal with the news of the death of a relative someday. Taking blame/responsibility for it is a whole 'nother issue. A much worse one, I’m sure.
“After extensive research, it turns out that yes, you will turn out just like your father.”
I’d probaly kill myself (I’m not kidding, you don’t know my father).
“War has just been declared on the United States of America. President Bush has declared a state of emergency and all male, ages 18-45 are to report to the nearest selective service board for enlistment. As of now, the U.S. is being overrun in all theaters. If this war fails, I fear for the continued independence of our country.”
I also fear the Air Force knocking on my mother’s door with a folded flag (probaly not how they do it, but you get the drift), or a newsreport saying that I am M.I.A. or had been captured.
“Come towards the light. Come towards the light.”
No, that isn’t the frightening part.
“I am the Lord, thy God. And thou standest in judgement.”
Still, not the frightening part.
“Thou hast rejected my prophet and art condemned. No, not Jesus. No, not Muhammed. Thou hast shut thine ears to the truth of my prophet Phelps.”
Fred Phelps, the true voice of God on earth. That’s true terror.
Hmmm… The Yellowstone Caldera just erupted… North American will be a desert starting in… ohh 26 minutes when the ash cloud reaches this part of the country.
Oh… you didn’t realize? You actually did die. about 30 years ago. childhood illness you know. This is Purgatory. There is no end to it. But now that you know we have to send you downstairs.
Nukes have launched… impact to your area… 12 minutes and counting. All phone lines are jamed you can’t say goodbye to anyone.
My neice(s) have been harmed, kidnaped, been in an accident, no further information known.
After we have landed and have come to a complete stop, proceed to the nearest exit in an orderly manner. Do not take time to retrieve your carry on luggage or personal belongings. Proceed to the nearest exit and follow the orders given by our flight attendants.
The flight attendants will now instruct you on the correct position to assume for our landing.
ccwaterback
Millenium?
“Drop your handkerchief. Wiggle your bottom. You’re the woman, Louise.”
Someone set us up the bomb!
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All Your base are belong to us!
ROFL -