# What's the silliest thing you've ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465 "2000-03-30T20:13:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/1 "2000-03-30T20:13:00Z")
“Well if you like it so much why don’t you marry it?” First person: “May I see that please?” Second person: "There’s no sea on it, it’s all dry land. BTW I sure am glad that the p in mpsims stands for pointless. 😛 * * * Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stevie_Rave_On)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/2 "2000-03-30T20:15:00Z")
That’s cheesier than a plate of nachos * * * Trying is the first step to failure ---
**Author:** ![kbutcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/db5fbb/32.png) [@kbutcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kbutcher)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/3 "2000-03-30T20:27:00Z")
I work at a Free ISP… “It’s free? Is that legal?” “I’m using a macintosh with WIN98” “I don’t want to download your program from the internet because I might get in trouble with my current ISP” ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/4 "2000-03-30T20:29:00Z")
“I’ve been working on MacIntoshes since before you were born!” Said by a customer calling in to tech support in 1996. (Hint: the Mac was introduced in 1984.) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/5 "2000-03-30T20:31:00Z")
“Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as Audrey Hepburn” ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/6 "2000-03-30T21:00:00Z")
Never take a bath in a barbeque. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/7 "2000-03-30T21:03:00Z")
“I’m gonna slap some sense into you” * * * _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/8 "2000-03-30T21:07:00Z")
Windows 2000: Professional Edition. Well, if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do that too? If you smeeeeeeel what The Rock is cooking! Silliest thing I ever saw: A tractor pull on TV, where one of the trucks had a 510 cubic inch engine on it. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nu_Vo_Da_Da)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/9 "2000-03-30T21:09:00Z")
“If you don’t like it why don’t you move to Russia” (and they always think it’s something clever that will shut me up as well. idiots.) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/10 "2000-03-30T21:16:00Z")
It’s a tie. –Back in the early 1980’s James Watt, Secretary of the Interior for Reagan, refused permission for the Beach Boys to perform on the Washington Mall, because, he said, it was “too dangerous.” He was worried that crazed rock n’roll fans might cause an Altamont-style riot. The Beach Boys? Rock n’ roll? –“Ketchup counts as a vegetable in school lunches.” Also from the Reagan era; I’m sorry I don’t remember exactly which duly elected representative of the American people came up with it. (For you young folks out there, they needed the estimable Mr. Watt’s permission because legally the Mall is part of the National Park system.) ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/11 "2000-03-30T21:22:00Z")
I love it when I get the opportunity to post this: Man1: Look at that bunch of cows. Man2: Not bunch… Herd. Man1: Heard of what? Man2: Herd of cows. Man1: Well sure I’ve heard of cows! Man2: No… A cow _herd_! Man1: Why would I care what a cow heard? I’ve got no secrets from a cow! * * * New and Improved Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/12 "2000-03-30T21:29:00Z")
Enright, did you hear the rest of that conversation? Man 1: Cows! You know, they’re covered in hide! Man 2: In what? Man 1: Hide. Man 2: Where? Man 1: Hide! Hide! The cow’s outside!! Man 2: Well, so what? I’m not afraid of a cow! ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/13 "2000-03-30T22:41:00Z")
## Notthemama, I seem to remember another thing about the ketchup as a veggie item as well. Didn’t Represenitive Hienz of ??? stand up and begin his speech against by saying something along the lines of ‘You all know who I am, and I think that I can say with some assurance that if anyone knows ketchup, it is my family. Ketchup is not a vegitable, it is a condiment.’ \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/14 "2000-03-30T22:55:00Z")
[First Person] What time does your watch say? [Second Person] I don’t know, my watch dosen’t talk. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/15 "2000-03-31T02:50:00Z")
Der Fuerer Reagan said ketchup was a veggie. And Rep. Heinz if from Pa. * * * Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/16 "2000-03-31T02:54:00Z")
Upon telling my husband that we were expecting our (unplanned) second child: “How did that happen?” * * * This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea. “I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.” ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/17 "2000-03-31T02:56:00Z")
Pipefitter, my mother used that one all the time. Me: What’cha doing, Mom? Mother: Oh, I’m just reading this article in the news. Me: What does it say? Mother: Nothing, you have to read it! If you’re wondering where I got my sense of humor, look no further… * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/18 "2000-03-31T03:05:00Z")
ohh and my 11 year old and I play this all the time: 10 year old: Well that’s life. Me: What’s life? 10 year old: A magazine. Me: How much does it cost? 10 year old: 25 cents. Me: I don’t have 25 cents. 10 year old: Well that’s life. * * * Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/19 "2000-03-31T03:06:00Z")
oops make that first line my 10 year old. * * * Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Cessandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465/20 "2000-03-31T04:02:00Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006665.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006665.html) Also, from an interview Carl went on last year: We want someone with ten years experience in Windows 95 and 5 years on Windows 98. * * * [Cessandra](http://envy.nu/cessandra/profile/) I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-silliest-thing-youve-ever-heard/15465.md?page=2)