# What's the stupidest adage you've ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444 "2004-01-14T20:41:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/63 "2004-01-16T14:05:50Z")
> [@Headspace](#): > > Uh uh every one gets this the wrong way around > > Half empty - is an optimist - epxected the glass to be full (optimism) and is disappointed because it is only half full > Half full - is a pessimist because they expected the glass to be empty (pessimism) and is happily surprised it is half full Actually, the glass is FULL. The glass contains approximately 50% of a clear liquid, consisting of hydrogen and oxygen and traces of other elements commonly known as “water” and approximately 50% clear gas mixture of oxygen, nitrogen and various other gaseous elements commonly known as “air” 🆒 This makes me an “optipest” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/64 "2004-01-16T14:24:47Z")
“If yer so smart, why ain’t you rich?” Invariably put forth by someone who is neither. Wealth = intelligence? :dubious: Paris Hilton, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/65 "2004-01-16T14:46:42Z")
> [@](#): > > The early bird catches the worm What happens to the early worm? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Stover9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stover9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stover9)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/66 "2004-01-16T15:06:18Z")
_Probe the retractor, excrete the source_ And _Let Bygones be Bygones_ . . .that one REALLY pisses me off… Snoopy - a tie is like kissing your sister because once it happens, it makes you sick to your stomach…I would assume anyways - I don’t have a sister. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/67 "2004-01-16T16:44:38Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I’ve always been annoyed by New Hampshire’s state motto. They corrupted Patrick Henry’s polite request, “Give me liberty or give me death,” to a command: “Live free…OR DIE!!!.” > > Pisses me off. Just to set the record straight, the New Hampshire state motto is not a corruption of the Patrick Henry quote: [New Hampshire State Motto](http://www.state.nh.us/nhinfo/emblem.html) > [@](#): > > The words “Live Free or Die,” written by General John Stark, July 31, 1809, shall be the official motto of the state. > > It was the 1945 Legislature that gave New Hampshire its official motto and emblem, as World War II approached a successful end. > > The motto became “Live Free Or Die,” as once voiced by General John Stark, the state’s most distinguished hero of the Revolutionary War, and the world famous Old Man of the Mountain was voted the official state emblem. > > The motto was part of a volunteer toast which General Stark sent to his wartime comrades, in which he declined an invitation to head up a 32nd anniversary reunion of the 1777 Battle of Bennington in Vermont, because of poor health. **The toast said in full: "Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst of Evils."** ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/68 "2004-01-16T16:55:20Z")
> [@Stover9](#): > > Snoopy - a tie is like kissing your sister because once it happens, it makes you sick to your stomach…I would assume anyways - I don’t have a sister. What I heard is that on the one hand, you’re kissing a girl, but on the other hand, it’s only your sister, as opposed to a girl who you’re romantically interested in or involved with. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/69 "2004-01-16T17:12:03Z")
> [@Extraneous](#): > > “Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed” > > yes, I **was** raised in the hills… I weren’t raised in the hills, but I worked in a warehouse full of scumbags. There was one guy there who liked to say “Old enough to pee, old enough for me.” ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/70 "2004-01-16T17:48:04Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > “If yer so smart, why ain’t you rich?” Then you’d probably enjoy [Fooled by Randomness](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1587990717/qid=1074275222/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/104-7244812-1585530). ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/71 "2004-01-16T17:59:51Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.” “Those who can’t teach, teach gym.” -Woody Allen ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/72 "2004-01-17T03:40:01Z")
> [@](#): > > “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”. > > Why would I want to catch flies? This is not an appetizing image. Actually, it should be “you can catch more flies with a teaspoon of honey than a gallon of vinegar” which means that you can get more done with a few kind words than tons of destructive criticism and yelling. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/73 "2004-01-17T06:08:58Z")
“If it was good enough for my daddy it’s good enough for me.” Living in world with polio was good enough for your daddy. Living in a world where most forms of cancer meant certain death in the short term was good enough for your daddy. A lot of things were good enough for your daddy, but you’re a damn fool if you approve of them just because they were around when your daddy was around. ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/74 "2004-01-17T07:31:23Z")
_“You can do/be anything you want if you try hard enough”_ Bullshit. I get the point and know the usual intended audience, but the wording is all wrong for using the line on _me_… well I guess just one word: anything. The truth is more like you can do/be a handful of things more than what you do/are now if blah blah blah. Toney fucking Robbins couldn’t convince me I can be the first man to walk on the moon. A little late for that one so maybe we should replace that “anything” word. Oh yes the “there is no try” thing; where did that one come from originally? I first heard it from Yoda in The empire strikes back. Then once they redid the Star Wars movies some guy from Subway bastardized the line for one of their commercials (it was actually used rather well by Yoda). Knowing how original Hollywood actually is, this line must have been around long before they got their filthy hands on it… ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/75 "2004-01-17T09:09:01Z")
> [@sishoch](#): > > No matter where you go, there you are! Actually, I’d always thought this one was stupid too, until a few years ago I realized what it means: It means your first business ought to be making yourself a person you like. You can roam all over the entire world, but wherever you go, the one thing that won’t change is that _you_ will be there. So you’d better get to work on liking yourself, because you are the only thing you can’t ever get away from. I think I realized this when a friend was showing me some old pictures, which included a lot of photos of him with various ex-girlfriends. He kept commenting about how completely awful all of the relationships had been, and I suddenly realized that the only constant in all these photos was that **he** was in every one of them. My vote for stupidest proverb: **"Do as I say, not as I do."** ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/76 "2004-01-17T10:57:07Z")
What’s wrong with “Life isn’t fair”? It’s true in my experience and IMHO, those who think otherwise are deluding themselves. I like this quote from Babylon 5: > [@](#): > > I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/77 "2004-01-17T11:10:19Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.” You CAN"T count chickens before they’re hatched. You can only count EGGS. Sure you can. Simply someone who is counting on the rewards of work not yet accomplished. I also disagree with “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. I equate it with “knowing just enough to be dangerous”, but not enough to be useful. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/78 "2004-01-17T14:19:58Z")
“You can’t beat that with a stick!” Actually, I like that one. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/79 "2004-01-26T17:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"** _ How fortunate for you, that when you got your lemons, you also got abundant fresh water, plenty of sugar, and clean glass to drink from. For the rest of us, the reality is, "When life gives you lemons, _Shut Up And Eat Your Goddam Lemons!!"_ ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/80 "2004-01-27T11:08:01Z")
“A rolling stone gathers no moss.” So is moss a bad thing and I’m supposed to keep moving to avoid it? Or is moss a good thing and I’m supposed to settle down and let it collect all over me? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/81 "2004-01-27T17:57:51Z")
**First who smelt it, must have dealt it.** OK, we all learned while riding the schoolbus that the proper response to being confronted with a foul odor is to pull your shirt up over your face and loudly proclaim “EWWWWWW!” How can we engage in this important custom if doing so is certain to get us branded as the responsible party? Why must we sit silently in agony, with watering eyes and lungs gasping for fresh air, just to avoid being speciously accused of being the source? Why God, Why?!?! :eek: Also, double penalty points for use of “smelt”. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444/82 "2004-01-30T00:56:52Z")
**Live each day as if it were your last** The basic sentiment – “Hey, life doesn’t last forever, so pay attention and make sure you have your priorities in order!” is fine, but actually living each day as if it were your last is really going to screw you up quickly if your last day is really 55 years in the future. If this day were my last and I knew it, I wouldn’t worry about saving money, in fact I would spend all I needed to for a really fabulous day. Not such a good idea for every day though. I wouldn’t bother going to work. Not a good plan for every day though. I wouldn’t bother washing the dishes or doing the laundry either. Stupid adage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-adage-youve-ever-heard/224444.md?page=5)