# What's the stupidest, least motivating, motivational poster/slogan you've ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 1, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319 "2009-06-01T04:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/101 "2009-06-04T20:56:00Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > We have this one hanging up at work: > > “When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we so persistently stare at the closed door that we fail to notice the one that has been open for us all along.” > > It’s not attributed to anyone at work but Google suggests Helen Keller. (Wow, I accidentally typed Helen Killer and had to fix that.) > > It’s not really that the quote itself that is so bad, but this fact: > > My job has laid everyone off. All of us. We are just sticking around until July/August to get our severance payouts. Then after they lay us off, 700 of us I might add, they stick that poster up? Gee, thanks, that really helps. 😛 The door that’s open is the one you’re leaving through. Your company is just supplying instructions. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/102 "2009-06-04T20:57:10Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > There is no “I” in Mongol Horde. There is, however, **horned gloom**. (OOooOOOoooOOOooOOO!) ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/103 "2009-06-04T21:36:10Z")
> [@ghardester](#): > > I stand by my original view. We reach an impass and are stuck. We must compromise, as Shot from Guns has said it well. So each side gives in a little. It’s a negotiation. > > There is no ‘both sides win’. Both sides give in, and that is a different thing. > > To say that both sides win is dishonest. Google “zero sum”. In a zero-sum game, the amount won by one or more participants is exactly equal to the amount lost by the others, so the sum of wins and losses is zero. Obviously, there can be no win-win situation in such a game. But not all games are zero-sum. Many situations IRL are non-zero-sum, in which all participants can potentially come out with more value than they went in with. Maybe it depends on your definition of winning. If winning simply means ending up with more value than you started with, then every non-zero-sum game is, by definition, a potential win-win situation. But if you define winning as getting everything you want, then OK, situations in which everyone can “win” by that definition are pretty rare. And, of course, there are those people who define winning as making everyone else lose, thereby turning everything in their life into a zero-sum game. Such people are high on my list of what’s wrong with the world. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/104 "2009-06-04T22:00:59Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > We have this one hanging up at work: > > “When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we so persistently stare at the closed door that we fail to notice the one that has been open for us all along.” > > It’s not attributed to anyone at work but Google suggests Helen Keller. Wait a minute, wasn’t Helen Keller blind and deaf ? Of course she’s not gonna notice doors opening. Then again, how’d she stare at the closed one ? Who knows, maybe it was a wall all along. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal ! ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/105 "2009-06-04T22:17:27Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > “The early bird gets the worm” / Didn’t work out too well for the worm. I believe the best response to this is, ‘But the second mouse gets the cheese’. As pointed out by various comedians over the years, ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/106 "2009-06-04T22:21:52Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > There is, however, **horned gloom**. (OOooOOOoooOOOooOOO!) And Long Red Homo… ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/107 "2009-06-05T02:44:58Z")
That stupid bear blathering about “Only you can prevent a forest fire.” Last I heard, from 90 to 95% of forest fires were caused by lightning. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/108 "2009-06-05T03:51:03Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > I agree with **Shot From Guns**. A win-win situation is one where both sides come out ahead, but generally one of the sides hadn’t yet realized it. It doesn’t necessarily have to have two sides even. You might call it a win-win situation when you are pondering two options for yourself, and both options are equally (or about equally) advantageous. ---
**Author:** ![hjayala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f19dbf/32.png) [@hjayala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hjayala)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/109 "2009-06-05T04:00:40Z")
I just came back from a high school graduation ceremony. It was hours of people saying really stupid things about everything already written on this page. There is a great website called [http://despair.com/](http://despair.com/) They have “demotivators” which are so much more truthful than “bootstrap crap”. [http://www.despair.com/wailinglist1.html](http://www.despair.com/wailinglist1.html) is their webzine. There is also a wonderful store which sells despairwear. I know all of the intelligent people who use this website will love this website. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/110 "2009-06-05T05:00:36Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It doesn’t necessarily have to have two sides even. You might call it a win-win situation when you are pondering two options for yourself, and both options are equally (or about equally) advantageous. Nah, around here they always seem to start in mid-July because of dumbfucks shooting off fireworks in the woods, or else people running around on ATVs in dry grass in the hot summer. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/111 "2009-06-05T11:58:09Z")
> [@](#): > > 23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. “Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. _DAMN!_ You go, Elisha!! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/112 "2009-06-05T13:00:44Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > There is no “I” in Mongol Horde. That was one of the few funny moments in Dance Flick (I know, I went with a friend who must see every dance-related film): “There is no i in team.” “How about troupe?” “No” “Posse?” “No” “Crew?” “No!” ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/113 "2009-06-05T14:10:41Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > _DAMN!_ You go, Elisha!! He sure taught them to grin and _bear_ it. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/114 "2009-06-05T14:44:10Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Wait a minute, wasn’t Helen Keller blind and deaf ? Of course she’s not gonna notice doors opening. Then again, how’d she stare at the closed one ? Who knows, maybe it was a wall all along. “When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we so persistently grope at the closed door that we fail to grope or be led to or feel the breeze coming out of the one that has been open for us all along.” > [@Daylate](#): > > That stupid bear blathering about “Only you can prevent a forest fire.” > > Last I heard, from 90 to 95% of forest fires were caused by lightning. Yes, but lightning isn’t sentient, so it can’t prevent anything. It doesn’t say “\*All \*forest fires can be prevented by you,” just that it’s each person’s responsibility to not, through careless action, cause a preventable fire. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/115 "2009-06-05T15:22:17Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > Last I heard, from 90 to 95% of forest fires were caused by lightning. Wow, you’re sure hearing from a crappy information source. According to the [National Interagency Fire Council](http://www.nifc.gov/fire_info/lightning_human_fires.html), 83% of wildland fires within the United States in the years between 2001 and 2008 were caused by humans. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/116 "2009-06-05T15:30:19Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Why would it have to be a naked woman? Wouldn’t a naked man have the same reason to learn to knit? I personally would rather have a poster of a naked woman knitting than a naked man. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/117 "2009-06-05T16:19:16Z")
Also, is anyone else thinking… > [@](#): > > Only \*who \*can prevent forest fires? … You have selected “you,” referring to me, which is incorrect. The correct answer would be you. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/118 "2009-06-05T16:53:12Z")
> [@hjayala](#): > > There is a great website called [http://despair.com/](http://despair.com/) > They have “demotivators” which are so much more truthful than “bootstrap crap”. I have [“Cluelessness”](http://despair.com/cluelessness.html) hanging in my office. So far no one has complained. I’ve told my wife she should get [“Potential”](http://despair.com/potential.html) for her office, but she says that might not be a good idea (she’s a probation officer). ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/119 "2009-06-05T17:54:00Z")
The one most appropriate for me is about how the best you can hope for is your life will serve as a warning to others. ---
**Author:** ![Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a4c791/32.png) [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frustrated_Wonderer)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/120 "2009-06-05T18:21:07Z")
**"Just Say No"** Hahahahaha. Riiight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319.md?page=7)