# What's the stupidest, least motivating, motivational poster/slogan you've ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 1, 2009, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319 "2009-06-01T04:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/121 "2009-06-05T18:44:51Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > “When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we so persistently grope at the closed door that we fail to grope or be led to or feel the breeze coming out of the one that has been open for us all along.” The fight for factual aphorisms goes on. ETA @ **Frustrated Wonderer** : in the same order of ideas, “Just do it”. I dunno about you, but I always think of self-inflicted gunshot wounds upon hearing that slogan. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/122 "2009-06-05T19:30:20Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > \*\* > B) We’re a republic, not a democracy. These two concepts of democracy and republic are not mutually exclusive unless you limit the meaning of the word “democracy” to the direct-democracy form of government - which would just be silly. The United States is a democratic republic, that is a representative government where the representatives are chosen direclty by the people. Wasn’t always so, but as it stands Senators and Representatives are elected directly by their consitutencies. ---
**Author:** ![BomTek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bomtek/32/21364_2.png) [@BomTek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BomTek)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/123 "2009-06-05T20:55:58Z")
Not sure this fits the spirit of the OP, but Mrs. BomTek and I just experienced a scare when we found out we both have a cystic fibrosis carrier gene, thereby giving BomTek Jr. (firstborn due in September, and, no, I’m not naming him anything Junior) a 25% chance of having CF. Not as scary as some other genetic diseases, but still scary as first-time parents. Our (well-meaning, I’m sure) family would often say something like, “God has a plan for you,” which doesn’t exactly give me the warm and fuzzies. God plans to shorten my son’s life to the point that I’ll probably outlive him? How is that supposed to help me? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/124 "2009-06-05T20:59:36Z")
> [@BomTek](#): > > Not sure this fits the spirit of the OP, but Mrs. BomTek and I just experienced a scare when we found out we both have a cystic fibrosis carrier gene, [snip] Not as scary as some other genetic diseases, Really? Have they gotten that much better at treating CF? Last time I remember reading anything about it (mid '90s, maybe?), IIRC most people were expected to die from it by their early 20s. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/125 "2009-06-05T22:11:59Z")
“Drugs don’t make you cool.” No, they’re just something cool people do. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/126 "2009-06-05T23:39:35Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Really? Have they gotten that much better at treating CF? Last time I remember reading anything about it (mid '90s, maybe?), IIRC most people were expected to die from it by their early 20s. **BomTek** and his wife just carry the gene, they don’t have CF themselves. That said, I have an acquaintance with CF who is coming up on his 31st birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/127 "2009-06-06T10:39:12Z")
Hanging at the entrance at my previous place of employment: “Drugs are garbage. Just refuse.” Hah, see what they did there? With the punning? Yeah. Made me want to spark up a doobie right there in the vestibule. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/128 "2009-06-06T16:13:53Z")
“Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life!” Like, duh. This has been true for every human since the beginning of time, even the ones who had an average life expectany of only 18 years and who on the first day of the rest of their lives would wake up feeling just dandy and be dead by noon of plague or cholera. Are you supposed to become a better and happier person on that particular day because a brightly colored piece of paper assured you that you probably had another day to give it a whirl? ---
**Author:** ![paffinity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@paffinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paffinity)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/129 "2009-06-06T21:34:51Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > [anything]: THE ANTI-DRUG > > Retarded on **so** many levels . . . I always wanted to make a poster with a dude shooting up on it that said IRONY MY ANTIDRUG at the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/130 "2009-06-07T17:47:44Z")
Maxine says “If life gives you lemons, tuck them in your bra. Couldn’t hurt. Might help.” ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/131 "2009-06-07T19:14:53Z")
I haven’t read the whole thread, so I hope this isn’t a dupe. I have always hated [this lion motivational poster](http://www.successories.com/product/motivational+posters/motivational+posters/essence+of+.../the+essence+of+survival+framed+motivational+poster.do) (although the image on the one I remember was slightly different). It’s a picture of a male lion and the text reads, “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed…every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle…when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” 1. Some gazelles are nocturnal, therefore they aren’t waking up in the morning. 2. Lions are mostly nocturnal, and therefore aren’t waking up in the morning. 3. A gazelle only has to run faster than the slowest gazelle. 4. Lions hunt cooperatively, and therefore don’t have to outrun their prey. 5. In most cases, a male lion such as the one on the poster does his hunting by sauntering over to whatever carcass the females killed and chasing them off. 6. If a lion can’t kill a gazelle, it can eat a rodent. It isn’t going to starve to death without killing a gazelle every day. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/132 "2009-06-07T19:28:39Z")
Well, only a little related but: Today I started jogging. I am in better shape than I was a year ago, but jogging is new and I haven’t run in many years. So I jogged a little, walked a little, jogged a little. A jogger ran past me and said: You gotta stick with it guy! Wow! Thanks. I am now more motivated than ever! ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/133 "2009-06-07T20:03:43Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > …It’s a picture of a male lion and the text reads, “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed…every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle…when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” > > 1. Some gazelles are nocturnal, therefore they aren’t waking up in the morning. > 2. Lions are mostly nocturnal, and therefore aren’t waking up in the morning. > 3. A gazelle only has to run faster than the slowest gazelle. > 4. Lions hunt cooperatively, and therefore don’t have to outrun their prey. > 5. In most cases, a male lion such as the one on the poster does his hunting by sauntering over to whatever carcass the females killed and chasing them off. > 6. If a lion can’t kill a gazelle, it can eat a rodent. It isn’t going to starve to death without killing a gazelle every day. Plus, what does this whole lion and gazelle thing have to do with humans? Life may be fast-paced and competitive, but we don’t have to chase down live prey to survive! Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Peanut\_Gallery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/838e76/32.png) [@Peanut\_Gallery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanut_Gallery)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/134 "2009-06-07T20:23:11Z")
God Bless America ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/135 "2009-06-08T00:32:22Z")
I’m sure I saw this as someone’s sig here 1. Didn’t kill me 2. Wasn’t made stronger 3. Lawsuit? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/136 "2009-06-08T13:32:49Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > **BomTek** and his wife just carry the gene, they don’t have CF themselves. Right, but they have a baby due. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/137 "2009-06-08T16:17:50Z")
In the front lobby of an insurance co. I saw a massive, floor to ceiling sized poster in the classic motivational style. The picture was of a majestic mountain range. The caption has me puzzled: > [@huge motivaitonal poster](#): > > Behind every mountain there is another mountain - Haitian proverb I truly do not get the motivational value of this - and cannot fathom why they would so prominently display it. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/138 "2009-06-08T16:19:20Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Right, but they have a baby due. I had to go back and re-read to see if I misunderstood **Shot From Guns** , and it appears that I did. The way he(?) snipped the quote and worded his reply, it looked to me like he was expressing surprise that **BomTek** and his wife had lived long enough to marry and have kids of their own, which led to my attempt at clarification. On re-reading, it appears he was only commenting on the “Not as scary as some other genetic diseases” bit, so my bad. ---
**Author:** ![A.Selene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ec8ea/32.png) [@A.Selene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.Selene)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/139 "2009-06-08T17:19:03Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team.’” > > Yeah, well, thanks for the spelling lesson, coach. I never would’ve figured that out on my own. :rolleyes: Whenever someone says that, I always respond with: But there are 3 you’s in “Shut the fuck up”. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319/140 "2009-06-08T19:37:45Z")
I once worked in a company that had sales reps. They had to do a LOT of cold-calling as well as servicing existing accounts. They had a hard job, but the good ones were very well compensated. The sales mgr was well known as a demanding hardass. Once when I was in the sales area of the suite, I saw that he had written on the whiteboard something to the effect of: > [@](#): > > Don’t like what’s required of your job? McDonald’s is hiring. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-stupidest-least-motivating-motivational-poster-slogan-youve-ever-seen/498319.md?page=8)